| |
hypershade
|
(Those interested in clubs and FL-action, skip the rant and go right ahead to the relevant Action paragraph.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rant
All in all, due to the Western pollution, Bali is a dreadful place, with some redeeming features. The most ghastly of all areas is Kuta. Kuta is like the Benidorm of Asia – filled with tattooed f***wits in sleevless Bintang t-shirts, either accompanied by more tattooed f***wits or by their elephantine spouse and un-planned offspring (who will undoubtedly grow up trying their best to resemble their nauseating parents). All this just to keep places like Phuket (Thailand), Bali (Indonesia) and San Antonio (Ibiza) filled with the scrotum of human existence. And to give the locals the lowest possible idea of what white people are actually like: mindless, disrespectful, rowdy, noisy, aggressive slimebuckets.
Bali also features the most touts per square meter since the inception of the very notion of tout. Walking to the local 7/11 will produce on average 452.344 offers for “marihuana, coke, lady, transport.” It goes without saying that all this originated from the aforementioned f***wits gullibility for these scams.
For me Kuta is just another one of those places in the world (like Phuket, Costa Del Sol or Cancun) where people can go and say they have been to Indonesia (Thailand, Mexico), while as a matter of fact, the only contact with the local culture they had was the waitress that brought them their fish and chips. As usual, I was appalled to my very bone by what a crowd the local sports bars drew when there was a soccer or rugby game on – which was every hour of the day as they showed taped ones when there weren’t any live ones on. If it’s to watch TV and drink bad beer, why don’t these people stay home and relieve me from the torture of having to be on the same island as them? Can you imagine having 2 weeks of holiday after working a whole year at the conveyor belt and then spending your hard earned bucks by flying to Indonesia to do exactly the same thing that you can do at your local pub?
The Action
Of course, it isn’t all bad. Bali has a pretty good nightlife, as long as you know where to go. Monday and Tuesday are quiet in Bali, but the rest of the week is an awesome build-up to the weekend.
1. Déjà vu
My favorite place by far is Déjà Vu, right on the beach, but far away from the atrocity of Kuta Beach. Déjà vu is a loungy sunset bar a la Café Del Mar or Café Mambo in Ibiza that gets going around 1AM. Its interior is based around glowing tainted glass with comfortable couches, projections screens (with heart bleeding imagery of Space Terrace in Ibiza), a well-stocked bar and 2 glass-walled wine-“cellars” on each side of the bar. The music is simply excellent. I have been there 6 nights in a row and there was rarely a dull moment: mainly exquisite progressive disco house beats with plenty of hand-raising peaks (a la Bora Bora), which gets the party slamming till the places closes down at around 4am.
But by far the greatest thing about this place is that everybody comes here to *have fun*, nothing more, nothing less. There are no attitudes flying around, just smiles and dancing.
Because this is such a high quality club, it doesn’t feel this way, but by 2am, this place is filled with freelancers. Affectingly called “ayam” (chickens) in Indonesia. If you are not sure about the availability status of a female of your liking, the trick (learned from a pro) is to ask the subject in question where she is from (Yeah, I know: of all questions.). If she is NOT from Bali, there is a 90% chance she is up for some kind of negotiation. On any given night, I would say the ratio is about 60/40 working, non-working girl. Most of the girls in Déjà vu are stunning. Prices range from free to $100 (1.000.000 rupiah).
Unfortunately, in my experience, the carnal capabilities of both working and non working girls are below par. But maybe my expectations are just too high. Most of my catches were non-working girls and it is maybe herein that the problem resided. Still, in my experience, the sweetness and genuine pleasure of Indonesian girls is only outdone by Filipina’s They are attentive and willing to learn, but don’t expect a night of ferocious bum f***ing and splattering CIM’s.
Déjà vu is NOT a CM or Nana Disco: overweight, middle-aged punters will feel extremely out of place. Mainly because this place actually has style, class and character. Both on the male and female side, the competition is high and in your best interest of scoring, it is best to behave as such. If you do not know what I mean by that, Déjà vu is not a place for you and I strongly suggest you get pissed with your fellow hooligan pissheads in Legion street. (To make your country and race proud, make sure to vomit against the monument built for the casualties of the bombing of the disco in the same street.)
At the risk of yet again being accused of consuming rather gay drinks, the Toblerone and Brandy Alexander cocktails at Deja Vu are highly recommended and skillfully prepared. If one night, deceived Bangkok’s closing hour madness, you are early and find the place empty, order some Brandy Alexanders and have a chat with the lovely PR-babe Tia. She can get hold of all kinds of stuff. All those mirrors in the toilets must serve a purpose.
2. Double 6
Double 6 is just down the road from Déjà vu and is the place where everybody goes when Déjà vu closes down at 4. Double 6 is open till 8 or so – although I never lasted that long. (I must be getting old. Where are the days till 5pm in DC10?) The music is more trancey, but also of a slightly inferior quality compared to Déjà vu. Of course, this depends on the DJ of the night and I might have been unlucky on the nights in question. The interior is a severe mishap as far as I am concerned. A place like this should be dark and cave-like, and not consist mainly out of glass walls and Christmas lighting. I don’t have a lot of good things to say about the bar either, but it’s a good place to go when you haven’t scored yet. Or when you feel like getting smashed some more – which is most of the time my case. As always, it is a good idea to buy your supplies for the evening from reliable sources, and NOT from the dozens of touts wandering around.
Although, in effect, I openly cherish and applaud every occurrence of a drunken Australian or English c*** grabbing one of those “girls” standing under the dark trees on the beach, a word of caution: they are ladyboys. Some of them are really convincing, but they do have a cock.
If you ARE one of those noisy, drunken c***s that spoils it in every corner of the world for us well-educated and decently dressed punters please forget the above paragraph and have a good grope at those stunning creatures on the road between Déjà vu and Double 6.
3. Galaxy Café (in Djanapura)
Djanapura is a street with quite a bit of trendy (lounge) bars. We would normally get started in either Galaxy Café, Liquid of Tu Bar.
Galaxy Café deserves a mention due to its cocktails that are not mentioned on the menu. Most of them consist mainly of magic mushroom extracts and will make your night very colorful. Don’t expect to do a lot of dancing though. Sinking in a couch will be your activity of the night.
For the toe-fetishists amongst you, check out waitress Rica’s excellent specimens. I will be expecting your letters if gratitude for revealing such splendor to your senses.
4. Liquid (in Djanapura)
Liquid’s interior is simply superb and it has the best designed and comfortable toilets in Bali. It is an excellent place to wait out the explosive moods of your bowels after a Nasi Gila Pedas from one of the food stalls, before you head to Déjà vu. Its interior is again based around a glow theme, but in a very plushy and ergonomic way. Bartenders stick to the measure cups so the beverages are just normal, but all in all a good place to get tanked (and take one of those mystical, goose-bump inducing dumps) due to the happy hours between 8 and 11.
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:10 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
Broken Leg
|
good stuff hypo,
BTW it's Kuta not Kota, Kuta is a village or at least originally it was, Kota is the indonesian word for city. (Although certainly not disagreeing with your discription)
Did you do a sunset at KudeTa?
http://www.beatmag.com/136/index.html
(For listings if you didn't know)
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 2:26 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
ftumch
|
Brilliant HS. Your missives have been sorely missed.
Now I need one on Jakarta please. Planning a trip there next month.
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:38 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
hypershade
|
Quote: from Broken Leg on 2:54 pm on Sep. 8, 2005
BTW it's Kuta not Kota,
I stand corrected.
Did you do a sunset at KudeTa?
Soon...
http://www.beatmag.com/136/index.html
(For listings if you didn't know)
Ah - the online version. The booklet is available in all over the place.
ftumch,
Some info on Jakarta
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 2:47 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
snpark
|
outstanding post, I fully understand your comments and I think that can be applied in many areas of the world too.
in your original post you spelt it kuta anyway, which was how I thought it was spelt?
anyway top post. great info and great point of view too.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:11 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
Golden Star
|
Great post. I was considering doing Bali for my next trip, but the "Western pullution" factor that you have so eloquently described is one of the reasons why I decided to give it a pass.
Cheers!
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:44 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
Broken Leg
|
Quote: from Golden Star on 8:12 pm on Sep. 8, 2005
Great post. I was considering doing Bali for my next trip, but the "Western pullution" factor that you have so eloquently is one of the reasons why I decided to give it a pass.
Cheers!
I think it's a little unfair to suggest all of Bali is 'polluted' Kuta and I'm sure Hypershade didn't intend that as he was just having a rant as any normal person would who had to spend time in Kuta. If you look at a map of bali that area he is refering to is really very small indeed, once you have your bearings there really is no need to stray in kuta.
I seem to remember in a previous post you mentioned how cultural aspects interest you as well as Pussy, well Bali does do pretty well in that area.
There is no reason for anyone to stay in the Kuta area if you want to be close to the action stay in the oberoi / Kerobokan area, which in itself houses some excellent high end bars and excellent restaurants, and is only a short hop by taxi or walk along the beach to double six / dyanah pura.
The action area itself is also much less in your face than patapong / pattaya type places a thing many punters may prefer.
Plus if you do a bit of travelling you can find stunning ricefields and jungle, volcanoes, trekking, holy lakes, some good diving, sleepy beach resorts and fishing villages, the hollywood hills (the buckit) and Nusa Dua area which is full of exclusive resorts, designer shopping golf courses, world class (but busy) surf, luxury villas and beautiful temples.
On the cultural side you have the balinese hindus and their cermonies which occur very frequently, Hinduism that has developed in complete isolation from indian hinduism and for those interested in this sort of thing it is fascinating to study and observe.
Then there is the cultural heart of Bali - Ubud with it's art galleries and jazz cafes and rice field vistas.
and of course the daily gathering on the beaches for some of the best sunsets i've witnessed (apparently it's the pollution from Java), although i've never made it up for the sunrises.
Bali also provides an excellent base for exploring the Gilli islands and the stunning beaches of lombok, as well as the temples and volcanoes of the eastern part of java.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:17 am on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
Golden Star
|
Broken Leg,
Fair enough, perhaps it just makes sense to skip Kuta.
Cheers!
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:46 pm on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
hypershade
|
Quote: from snpark on 6:40 pm on Sep. 8, 2005
in your original post you spelt it kuta anyway, which was how I thought it was spelt?
Yeah, I edited my post after BL's correction ("I stand corrected").
Sorry for the confusion....
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 11:43 pm on Sep. 8, 2005
|
|
hypershade
|
Quote: from Broken Leg on 10:46 pm on Sep. 8,
I think it's a little unfair to suggest all of Bali is 'polluted' Kuta and I'm sure Hypershade didn't intend that as he was just having a rant as any normal person would who had to spend time in Kuta.
BL is correct and seems a whole lot more knowledgeable about the area then me.
Bali is indeed much bigger then Kuta and there are indeed very nice places, both from a temple/cultural as a party/pussy point of view. I merely used Bali as a jump off to a live aboard to Komodo Marine Park and hence admittedly only have fragmentary knowledge.
Still, I would never go to Bali out of free will. Indonesia has much nicer places. Some so stunning, mere mentioning them might spoil them.
Kalimantan for example is absolute world-class when it comes to jungle trekking and unspoiled diving. The Banta islands are world class diving as well, but you will need your own boat/gear and the ability to dodge bullets once every other day.
But for partying, besides Jakarta, Bali seems a necessary evil. Just be careful were you go, if you want to avoid spontaneous bursts of projectile vomiting.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:16 am on Sep. 9, 2005
|
|
| |
|
