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expatchuck
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Never, never, never push a button that says..."Automatic Tampax Remover".
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:57 pm on Nov. 15, 2009
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StrayGypsy
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Nice, a toilet and bide' all in one
Thats the way to go HiSo.... never be afraid to over eat Thai spicy scorpian chillis again !
How much baht ? 25k I bet ? at Home Pro ? plumb in the water and electrical power... waa laa ! douche city !
Still the bum gun LoSo, butt cheap to install by plumbing tee line and user friendly by hand held direction.... plumb from the shower head a 6 way Jacuzzi action sprayer... stainless steel for sanitary conditions and for spraying klong mud off your Nike's in the tub or better yet your Tilacs Puss pulsator G Spot water vibrator.
Bring the NetBook in for this long bathroom break:
10 pleasurable minutes for cycles to complete.... nice toilet though
The Neorest 600 offers the following features and functions:
Automatic Open and Close Lid
Three Cleansing Modes
Hands-Free Automatic Flush
Tank-less, Water Saving 1.2 Gallon per Flush
Adjustable, Warm Air Dryer
Built-in Air Purifying System
Oscillating and Pulsating Comfort Washing
Front and Rear Cleanse
Self-Cleaning Nozzle
Slim and Sleek Remote Control
Adjustable Heated Seat Temperature
Adjustable Spray with Precision Positioning
Energy-Saver Timer
Manual Override Function
Adjustable Water Temperature
Warm Air Dryer
Rimless Design Ensures a Clean Bowl Rinse After Each Use
SanaGloss® Glaze Keeps the Neorest Cleaner, Longer
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:56 am on Nov. 16, 2009
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Kaymanx
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Quote: from Whisper on 4:24 pm on Nov. 15, 2009
I thought those guns were for squirting all the crap that is stuck to the side of the bowl after you have a dump. At least, that's what I use them for. I know they are meant to be used for cleansing your anus afterwards but all I've ever been left with is a dripping wet backside and wet underpants. Am I doing something wrong or is there a method that washes your bum and leaves it immediately dry that I haven't heard of ? I'd rather stick to toilet tissue.
Ah, Whisper. Your assumptions -- and the consequences thereof -- are so full of childlike innocence, I am delighted to volunteer to explain. First of all, the gun is not for "cleansing your anus afterwards" if by afterwards you meant after cleaning the sides of the toilet bowl. That is actually double jeopardy for one not yet initiated into the fine yet simple art of keeping oneself squeaky clean. For one thing, you would first spray clean the bowl, splashing water on yourself in the process then, subsequently, you would have to labour considerably to reposition yourself on the bowl to "cleanse your anus" as you put it. Upon successful completion of which you would once again peer into the bowl -- the meticulous person that you are -- only to find small debris floating around which would necessitate further naval campaigns to rid the seas of the undesirable flotsam. And, as you would doubtless know from experience, it's the small debris that pose the stiffest challenge to eliminate. Many times, it is my experience, even another full fledged flush does not really accomplish the job and I have to mourn the wastage of precious water in carrying out what seems a sisyphean task.
Back to the matter at hand. After your aerial bombing campaign is completed, and before you lift yourself off the bowl, simply reach for the gun, slide yourself just enough forward on the toilet seat to position the nozzle about 4 inches away from the target. A good criteria to judge the suitable position and distance is to slide forward until your centre forward guy is almost touching the rim of the seat in front. This I have noticed affords the right elbow room for your manoeuvres.
Now is the final -- and most crucial -- act which many westerners, I suspect, are chary of performing. If you are holding the gun in your right hand bring your left hand round to the back and position the middle finger on the small of the back. Now, even if you don't use the middle finger to do the rest of the cleansing job, it serves the purpose of being a good guide to you when you press the trigger and spray the target. Mercifully the jet often obviates the need for a "middle man" to act as the "go between" but that is so only and if only the jet is powerful enough to dislodge the stubbornest rascal from his hideout. In cases where the jet is not powerful enough, you would be well advised to use the service of the middleman to physically ensure a clear coastline after the gunning.
Never confuse the term 'middleman' to mean the centre forward guy I referred to earlier. They are two distinct entities with entirely different functions. The only time they share a common function is when your girlfriend seeks or is crying out for special attention or when you choose to use the middleman as a proxy for the centre forward when you are groping up the bargirl's skirt and have reached her gateway. Again I digress.
If you or anyone else has any more questions do feel free to ask. Other useful tips to ensure a complete drain out of waterdrops have been well explained by Expatchuck and I have little to add to those excellent guidelines. Oh, first things first. Before you start the entire exercise do make sure your clothing is well tucked away from the firing line.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:39 pm on Nov. 21, 2009
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Whisper
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Great post, Kaymanx - and much appreciated. I do thank the honourable member for such a detailed explanation on what is obviously a very serious and important topic.
I have begun to use the magic hose regularly now and am still in the learning stages. Here in the Middle East (where I currently reside) the hose is an integral part of the bathroom plumbing system, so it is easy to avail oneself of its advantages.
I still suffer from "wet bottom" syndrome and need to fine-tune my technique further. I am also concerned about your four inch recommendation, especially when in Thailand where the distance between toilet seat and water level is sometimes best measured with a micrometer.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 10:19 pm on Nov. 21, 2009
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expatchuck
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Whisper:
Firstly, I agree with your assessment of Kaymanx's great post. It is very definitive.
One thing I might add is an alternative to the four inch problem. Rather than slide forward you might try simply lifting your bum, on whichever side you plan to apply the water pressure, an amount sufficient to insert your hand beneath your bum. You can then position the spray in such a manner as to clean the infected area. I, personally, do not use the middle-finger approach to a clean bum. I prefer the water pressure only method.
One thing to insure is you have sufficient water pressure to "do the job", so to speak. You might want to take your nozzle head apart and remove any water filters from the inside. I have found they deter water pressure and can take away from the whole experience.
It is a learning experience but you can succeed with a little effort...and your bum will never be happier.
I wonder if anybody has considered doing a training film and embedding it in the forum? This is, after all, an educational forum covering a multitude of subjects.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:34 pm on Nov. 21, 2009
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S M E G M A
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Whisper there is not one single position that works for all, you must find your own.
Some people move forward and spray from the back, while others spread their legs and reach from the front. I have not yet heard of anyone leaning to the side and spraying sideways, but.... who knows, it may also work.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:17 pm on Nov. 21, 2009
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CalEden
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Quote: from Loung Steeb on 2:42 pm on Nov. 16, 2009
never flush if your balls are in the toilet,,,
Never apply full pressure to the water jet whilst pointing at your balls....
If Kaymanx's finger nails are brown do not share your popcorn with him...
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:08 am on Nov. 22, 2009
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expatchuck
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Quote: from S M E G M A on 12:17 pm on Nov. 22, 2009
Whisper there is not one single position that works for all, you must find your own.
Some people move forward and spray from the back, while others spread their legs and reach from the front. I have not yet heard of anyone leaning to the side and spraying sideways, but.... who knows, it may also work.
Smegma:
Perhaps I was a little unclear with my suggestion. I am not lying down when I spray. I have merely lifted the left (or right) hip in the air in order to get my hand and the water nozzle between my formidable body and the toilet seat.
I am still spraying in an upright position, although a slight bit askant.
I do agree with CalEden's very valid suggestion about the popcorn as well.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:42 am on Nov. 22, 2009
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CalEden
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Also Loung Steeb, never apply full pressure to the water jet if the Som Tom lady from Hualampong Station licked your arse and the hemorrhoids are swollen...
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:26 am on Nov. 22, 2009
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magnum
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... think about it guys... a public bathroom butt sprayer... in Thailand... that 1 square centimeter that is the butt sprayer trigger, must be the filthiest 1 square centimeter in all of all the world's kingdoms for all of time
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:57 am on Nov. 22, 2009
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