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gray
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I'll be making my 3rd trip to Bangkok in a month's time, (wish I'd found this forum before the first two visits!), and am unsure on the "loss of face" issue I've heard about.
On my last trip, in January, I spent a week with a really nice girl that I'd picked up at the biergarden in Soi7. Although I had a good time, a couple of days before I left I met the girls' flatmate who was an absolute stunner. I still kick myself for not trying to get off with her, (or arrange a threesome perhaps?), but I didn't want to upset the girl I'd already been happy with for 5 days. The thing is, I want to try and go with the flatmate on this trip, if she's still around, but I've heard that if I do this then the girl I spent a week with will "lose face". I'm not sure how important this is but I definitely do not want to cause upset for the girl as she really does not deserve it.
I did the bar-hopping thing on my first trip but preferred spending a week with the same girl, it was more relaxing somehow. But this trip I do want to try a different girl.
So should I avoid the biergarden this time around and look elsewhere? Or can I just be polite to the girl I spent the week with last time and make a play for the flatmate?
I'd appreciate any advice as this one is bothering me a bit.
Thanks Guys
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:24 am on April 28, 2002
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Dave
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Gray
What you ask and what you do is a very personal thing.
Where I you then I would go to beer garden. If the girl is there, be polite but tell her the truth. That you want to meet another girl. After all she will have been working whilst you have been away. We have discussed this " loss of face" issue elswhere, and the title given to guys as " buttterfly's" But it is not so important that you should change your plans.
Many guys who visit LOS regularly arrive at the same conclusion as you. After the gogo and bar hopping thing then it is better to settle with the same girl for a few days. The danger of this is getting into the dilema facing you now, but much worse is the danger of " becoming involved" That could be very hard and expensive to handle. That is the risk and the price you pay for staying with one girl.
Up to you..... but be realistic.. she is a working girl and I am certain it will have happened to her before. Just be polite
Dave
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:27 am on April 28, 2002
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nokna
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gray
i would go with the first one again and then approach the second one later.
i am a big buttergly,but always tell the girls what i am like.
if they cannot handle it then not my problem.
i have been the situation where i have spent time with a girl but wanted another and i have explained to my long term one that i want the friend.
mostly they do not like it,but if they know what you are like then they have no choice really but to accept it.
as dave says 'she's a working girl and i am certain it will have happened to her before'.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:44 am on April 28, 2002
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snowbird
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Hello Gray -
I had a similar experience myself •during my first trip to the LOS in March - ironically enough in the same bar, the Soi 7 Biergarden.
I met a German expat in the Golden Bar beside the Nana Hotel, who had recently split up with his Thai wife. We got talking for a while, and he mentioned to myself and another new friend that he was going to walk over to another good bar nearby, and would we •care to join him? Let's go!!
While there I met a lady friend of his, and ended up spending a week with her. A real nice lady, but a little past her prime. I never paid her anything directly, but paid for all our expenses and bought her clothes as well. She took me for local tours and basically lived with me in my room for three days.
The problem I had was that I was surrounded by so much beauty in this area that I just couldn't keep my attention on her. We'd do the bar thing at night and it was driving me nuts - I kept thinking about that old phrase of "bringing a sandwich to a banquet". We went as two couples to the Nana Hotel disco one night, and I was just spellbound watching all the action around me, but I was basically stuck with her for the night.
So I knew it had to end - I told her I was only in Thailand for a short time (true,unfortunately) and I had to see a little more of the •country. Off to Pattaya I went, and had a great time there . Meanwhile, she was supposedly going to Singapore to work as a cook - she said she'd done this before a couple of times - but couldn't give me a straight answer on her departure date, as they hadn't given her the ticket yet.She figured around the 25th. She had a contact number there, and I told her I would call her when I passed through Singapore on my way home on the 27th of March.
Well, I returned to BKK from Pattaya on the 25th, found an absolute little sweetheart in Soi Cowboy that night and told her I would see her again the next night. That afternoon I was dumb enough to drop into the biergarden for a cool one, and guess who I ran into? We spent a little time together, and I had to tell her that I'd found someone else and was on my way to see her. She wasn't very happy, asked me if the new girl was slimmer and younger than she (32) and I truthfully answered that yes, she was a little slimmer but was actually older (33)!
So guess I probably did make her lose some face, but I WAS polite about it. I thanked her dearly for everthing she'd done for me and told her I'd never forget her, but that she'd told me she was probably leaving around the 25th and I thought she was already gone. I also politely told her that it would be a long time until I could get back to the LOS, and I had to make the most of it while I could.
She took it all quite well, but I still felt a little bad about it. Mind you, I felt worse about leaving the new one the next day, but I had no choice in that one, damn it - when it's time to leave, it's time to leave.I'm probably better off leaving when I did, anyway, but I'm sure looking forward to returning!!
regards
snowbird
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:30 am on April 28, 2002
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seubeu
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In a way this reminds me of the story about the dog with a bone that looks in the water and sees another dog with a better bone...
But this is why a lot of the wiser hands here advise against getting thaied into a situation with a girl while on holiday in LOS. Could be we've all been in situations where if you didn't scoop up someone right away there were just too many guys around and then she might not be available.
If you want a long time relationship, fine, go for it. But then don't be surprised when you find pretty girls out at the bar, disco, etc. It's a conundrum that we all face when there.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:25 pm on April 28, 2002
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ABC
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Gray:
I would steer clear of approaching this females flatmate. I have dated a distant friend (A manager at a g-club) of a female (working female at another club), who I'd gone out with in the past. When word got out about this, there was a lot of trash talking going on behind the scenes between the females and their friends. They all talk and from what I've heard and seen are pretty territorial. The females will not show this infront of the men/customers. So, unless her friend is so "hot" that you can not find another one, or they are not that close, then I would look elsewhere.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:56 pm on April 28, 2002
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snowbird
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Hi seubeu -
Wise words indeed! It pretty well sums up the society I have to live in -if you don't grab the lookers right away somebody else will, that is if they are even interested in you in the first place.
This is one of the blessings of the LOS - so much choice, God bless them all. Here where I live we're just enjoying the first warm weekend of spring, and the young'uns are out in their skimpy clothes already. So near, and yet so far away...I can only dream and plan on my return.
Have a good one
snowbird
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:46 pm on April 28, 2002
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pinga
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Hi Guys,
"Lossing face" is already part of the idiosyncrasy of Thai people and it's not only related to beer-bars/gg-bars....this is permmanently flying even at normal Thai universities and "normal-work" environment. Yes, this is weird.
Look, sometimes you feel keen to one TG at any bar and you look forward to pick her up. Soon after the bar-fine and personal arrangements with the TG are settled down and you go for your sexercise. That's fine till then. The "problem" ALWAYS come afterwards. If you go to the same place a night after, e.g. a gg-bar, the lady you took before is expecting to be pick up once again as you were her "boyfriend" already, if you pick up another one she definitely will be approached by comments from the other girls after you leave. Sometimes may not. However, the girl who was "avoided" that time will LOSE FACE among her friends and once, I was a sad witness of some disputes among two girls at one gg-bar.
Yes guys, this is a very weird concept but we do better avoiding "fishing" a second girl form the same place right the night after you finished with the first one. There are plenty of bars and although the main problem is NOT concerning the customer it is sometimes adviseable to head to other place and pick up other girl. This LOSE FACE stuff is such a very weird concept as these cuties keep f_cking around with as many customers as possible and they damn look forward to you to pick her up again the next time and they will "lose face" if you don't.
bah! there are plenty of bars in Bangkok. The experience says that we may even find another cutie right beside the bar we were enjoying the night before and we can come back anyway to the "first" one later on for a survey. Here I agree with the brother who says to be polite. This is a KEY issue which must be followed with a bit of sincerity. The girl will understand beforehands that you are selecting another one from the same place (amazingly they don't really mind if you engaged another TG from other bar) because you like another one. She will call you "butterfly" and please take it easy because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE.
Hope this helps GREY. Some fellows may disagree as well. This is based upon personal experience. CHEERS!!!!
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:52 am on April 29, 2002
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gray
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Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I'll keep away from the place and try elsewhere as it seems the simplest option.
Cheers
Gray
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:32 pm on April 29, 2002
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Dave
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Gray
I think you are right. This isn't criticism, but if you are not hard enough to handle the baggage that can come with seeing the same girl ( or friend) then it is better to move on.
Dave
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:02 pm on April 29, 2002
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