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NEP
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Hi all, I have question I did not find answer here at forums. This really is not about money(because I told her already I don't pay), but this is about knowing if this was a scam try or not.
Today I call my gf, shes at home in Buriram at the moment. She tells me that her mother wants me to engage her at her village and this would cost me 2000baht gold(she says about 15 000 baht) +20 000baht money=35000thai currency. This would happen when I go soon back to Thailand.
So we are not talking about marriage money here, but engagement gift to a girl. Her mother would give this to the girl. She says her mother says people at village won't talk then about her(I've not been at her home) then, and she can not have new men.
I say I don't have so much extra money when I go there and refuse to pay. I tell her that I propably buy her a ring. She says that it's ok with her(not her mother maybe).
So, have you heard about this kind of thing before????
I thought gold and money are give usually when marrying a girl.She says this is common in Burirum.
I have send her couple of times money, only 6000 baht/month -which I think is so small amount for me to keep her off the business. She says she loves me and waits for me now. I ftalking about money...I don't agree with people that say never send money. I just say that sometimes a somekind of checkout for a girl should be in place....especially after reading these forums 
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:08 am on July 21, 2003
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NEP
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One more question: is there somekind of engagement ceremony in Thailand?
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:29 am on July 21, 2003
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MrJoe
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There's been some very extensive and detailed discussion of this before. if you can find those posts you could learn a lot.
For the moment just let me say that it IS common for a marriage. Whether its an acceptable practice to us falangs or whether you pay it or not ...well there's different veiws about that.
It's called "sin sot".
Maybe more later. Gotta go. (I'm sure others will give you more info anyway).
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:35 am on July 21, 2003
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NEP
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Yeps, I know that this the case at marriage, but engagement?
I did try to look for some time the forums and found nothing about it....and hey, been reading this forum mak mak before.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:32 am on July 21, 2003
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AlterEgo
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NEP:
I have had similar returns regarding information that I was seeking. Mr.Joe's response was better than many who merely call you a name and tell you to look up the info on the forum... STUPID!!! Anyway, I have seen some posts regarding your inquiry. I think that engagement and marriage are kinda lumped together in the Thai thinking. I believe that there is customarily a kind of dowry that one pays to the family. The higher in status of the family, the higher the dowry. Look in the "Last 25" at the top, and then when you get to that site, clik on the "all subjects" or whatever similar term is listed there at the top. You then need to go down the listing until you get to the subject. Unfortunately, many folks start the subject with "a", or "I was wondering", or something that does not give you alpha advantage in looking up a particular subject. Good luck.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:40 pm on July 21, 2003
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haam sup
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NEP,
Certainly, as MrJoe points out, sin sot is a normal custom, but carried out at the time of marriage. It is often negotiated beforehand, and a truly goodhearted family will return all or a portion of it to you and your new wife. It is a sign of status, and gives face to the family and the daughter being married.
I think you already know all this.
Asking for an engagement fee, however, is IMO a certain scam. Sounds like she has greedy relatives, who can't wait to get their grubby paws on your cash.
I think the larger question, however, is whether you're fooling yourself. Sending her 6000/month is not likely going to keep her out of the bar, where she can earn several times that amount, while hanging out with her friends, and living 'the life'.
If you REALLY have thought this through, why not go the extra mile, and enlist the aid of an investigator, like TPE, to check up on her? You're talking about major changes to your life and future. You need to do your due diligence. "Some kind of checkout...", as you put it.
I would NOT, under ANY circumstances, give her parents any money before the wedding ceremony, in any case. Period.
haam sup
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:16 pm on July 21, 2003
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Ballsburstin
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NEP,
Have to agree with HS and MrJoe. "sin sot" at wedding okie dokie if you understand the cultural premise behind it and don't mind shelling out the bucks. But I think the engagement bucks is a scam. Been with my TGF 1.5 years, we're about as "engaged" as anyone in this kind of a situation, and never a peep from mom and dad about cash. But I am supporting her at substantially more than you are paying your TGF, and some of this filters home every month. So the incentive to be conned by greedy relatives is less, and I do enjoy the moral support of some of her relatives. Your mileage may vary, but I think 6000B/month is just breaking even for her, and will require her to freelance to keep her finances where she would like 'em.
Good luck. Balls.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:43 pm on July 21, 2003
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NEP
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Thank you guys. I too think it's some sort of scam. Although she said that mother would give money to her.
So maybe deal would be me giving her more money and mother gaining face...which would sound ridiculous, what face...dating with farang?!
About 6000 baht, yes I know, but I also know some "cleaning lady" that make 4500 month. I want her to love me, not my money...like we all do...
Infact It's little more than 6000/month + she got 2 weeks salary(If that can be called salary, huh).
First time we meet at January for couple of weeks. She stopped working bar at april(and I believed. After my return home she looks for job, stays in one for 2 weeks, now gone home.
I believe she has stopped "working bar", simply because I call her so many times. I can also check if she worked where she said for 2 weeks when I go back(which proves her not working at bar). I've asked her to show me her both bank account information when I go back(because of other possible sponsors), she agreed...(I asked her straight after her telling about what her mother wants)
Now she stays home until I go there again, which is only under one month away.
I believe I have to use TPE later when I go back home again, for my minds sake.
But even if I know that she's not at bar, how can I know if shes freelancing every now and then. How can TPE know, if he looks for one evening only. And he operates at Bangkok...
It really is a problem as said before that girls get soooo bored at home and want to meet their bg-friends.
It's all about trust, but reading the forum makes trust so hard...Man, I really need luck, going back for this girl only...not even planning to butterfly!!!! Well I did have my share of it last trip, maybe too much.
Another victim of GFE
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:49 pm on July 21, 2003
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thaiprivateeye
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"Mun" - or an engagement present, yes, usually gold, is indeed a common occurence amongst Thais - it is supposed to signify that you will marry the girl in due course, and she will wait for you ; whilst I think the majority of good Thai girls keep to this agreement, of course not all do. Normally does not involve the mother/family, - other than the fact it gives them sime 'face' - and this is particularly so if the girl is staying in the village - as to the price/amount, that is really irrelevant, or up to you and the TG, currently a 1baht wt. of gold is around 7000bt, - she is suggesting 2 baht, - probably be more than happy with 1 .... alos, the Girl will normalluy never cash this in, - if she does you can bad mouth her, and tell her you will go find someone else .... Like the Dowry thing, this is no a set rule, but a tradition, if you can get out of it, well done !
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 11:59 pm on July 21, 2003
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haam sup
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"Mun"
Well, there's MY new thing learned for today!
Thanks, TPE...
hs
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:09 am on July 22, 2003
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