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formen
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LivinLOS,
My appologises, I forgot to add big grabbers into the equation.
Little grabbers 90%, Big grabbers 9.99% to Big hearts 00.01%
From this equation, a stay of 2 months and you'll probably meet Big heart tonight!!!
No question about which payout is better. But the inevible LOS loser will live with the loss longer then a Vegas loser.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:19 am on May 19, 2004
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Chompoo
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Perhaps I am feeling guilty? yes I am, and getting it off my chest a little. I just worry that there are some nice guys out there who do not understand the rules, and think they have some "rights".
Of course you have "rights" as a sponsor.......but not necessarily monogamy!
As a sponsor you are free to define whatever arrangement you care to, even so far as asking that the girl never set outside her apartment. I'll admit that there may be some arrangements that are totally impractical and some may even be morally offensive or cruel, but requiring that the girl be totally monogamous is not out of the question.
It is up to her whether she chooses to accept the arrangement or not. If she can't live with the arrangement then the honest thing is to not enter the contract (which goes the same for the guy).
Yes, right on. And there are some fantastic, honest, beautiful girls who are in the bars, with big hearts and loving personalities.
That seems to contradict your previous statements. A "fantastic, honest" girl would honor a sponsorship arrangement. Therefore sponsorship may be worth pursuing for some guys (assuming they can identify the right girls). Only if you assume all bargirls are deceptive and have no control over their finances and their pussies can you claim that sponsorships are insane (although you could make a good case that they are a poor gamble).
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 2:29 pm on May 19, 2004
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ThaidUp
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Quote: from formen on 10:42 pm on May 19, 2004
Guys,
Little grabbers 90%. Big hearts 10%. Better odds in Vegas.
Business is business, even if it is the monkey business.
Life is too short!
And my dick is hard!
Well that's better than:
Life is too hard
And my dick is short
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:29 pm on May 19, 2004
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Arcadius
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It is up to her whether she chooses to accept the arrangement or not. If she can't live with the arrangement then the honest thing is to not enter the contract...
In practice, she will accept your contract and then ignore or undermine any conditions which strike her as unreasonable.
In my view, a legalistic and contractual model is a thoroughly ineffective way to deal with Thais of any description - especially in a personal capacity. In most cases, it is little more than a thinly-disguised command & control exercise, and on the whole Thais intensely dislike feeling controlled. They will politely respect contractual conventions, but feel under very little moral compunction to be bound by them. You can wax indignant about this if you like, but this is of no practical use unless you enjoy self-righteous anger.
Your choice is between dealing with things as they are or with things as you think they ought to be. Bearing in mind that no-one is forcing you to get involved with TGs in the first place, and assuming your priority is to actually enjoy this involvement, you will find it a lot more productive to adapt yourself to the former. Bothering to ask yourself WHY you need a girl for whom you have no serious intentions to be faithful to you when you're not around might be a good place to start. Making some attempt, however feeble, to see the situation from her point of view won't kill you either. Refusing to do any of this because you can't get beyond sanctity of contract will only mean more frustration.
When you hire a BG in any capacity, she becomes in effect your employee. I think newbies to all this could do a lot worse than read one of the many 'how to' guides aimed at Western managers in LOS, and apply many of the same principles to their P4P love life. This stuff is practical guidance aimed at guys who simply have to get their dealings with Thai staff right or lose their own jobs for ineffectiveness.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:01 am on May 20, 2004
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ThaidUp
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Arcadius, I think you hit the nail on the head. It is desire to be possessive that ruins many relationship. This desire for ownship kills.
You are right, put something in writing and you will get exacty that nothing more, nothing less, but incentise the offer and it is a whole new ball game.
Another point I did not see brought up. We expect these little minks to be horny little babes giving it to us multiple times a day, then what. You expect them to turn off there desires once you get on the plane? How many sponsers have bought their TGF's dildos or vibrators? Not many I would suspect. They expect them to turn-off their desires and wait until Big Daddy comes back into town. Unrealistic Expectations.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:24 am on May 20, 2004
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Arcadius
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TU
I must say you're looking in particularly fine fettle today. As it happens, I know a nice little place on Soi 13 where we could discuss these matters more intimately...
I'm not sure that possessiveness is a 'desire' - I see it more as an involuntary, self-defeating weakness which is well worth making an effort to put in its cage. Especially in LOS.
Re the sex thing, I think BGs vary a lot in what they need. However, if your little chum is a stunning 22yo of normal instincts, and you (say) are a fat, ugly 55yo with no hair, an appalling personality and lousy bedroom technique, then it's a fair bet that she could use a little sexual variety from time to time.
Now, you could choose to keep her sweet by turning a blind eye her infidelities, provided she was discreet enough to make this easy for you. Or you could earn her strong resentment by watching her like a hawk and having her tailed by PIs and other snoops. Which is likely to produce a more satisfactory relationship? Personally, I'm happy to apply the same "what I don't know won't hurt me" principle I expect (and get) from my wife and GFs.
I'm not sure sexual desire is often the main motive though. Experienced BGs are unlikely to see the sex act per se as a big deal, and no doubt can always use some extra dough (if you're a sponsor, you might want to factor this into what you're prepared to pay). And Thai girls (both BGs and others) who want to secure their future by making a decent match are acutely aware that their years of fancy are short. I think expecting them to devote a large chunk of their precious youth exclusively to a relationship which is very likely (or certain) to lead nowhere is both unrealistic and unpleasantly selfish. At any event, if you adopt the attitude that nothing and nobody matters except your own pathetic ego, then you're a jerk, she'll know you're a jerk, and she's liable to treat you accordingly. That applies whether or not she happens to be a jerk herself.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:39 am on May 20, 2004
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Chompoo
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In practice, she will accept your contract and then ignore or undermine any conditions which strike her as unreasonable.
And in practice I would be completely justified in throwing her out of the apartment I was paying for and leaving her without a job or a single baht to her name. If I were like most guys, in practice, I would also slap her around a little bit.
In my view, a legalistic and contractual model is a thoroughly ineffective way to deal with Thais of any description - especially in a personal capacity.
Unfortunately there turns out to be no "effective" way to deal with most Thais. The only solution appears to be to lower your expectations and hope for the best.
In most cases, it is little more than a thinly-disguised command & control exercise, and on the whole Thais intensely dislike feeling controlled. They will politely respect contractual conventions, but feel under very little moral compunction to be bound by them.
This is very misleading. The fact that one party doesn't follow the "contract" faithfully is not a reason to avoid making your expectations and requirements as clear as you can. This is important whether you are in a serious long-term relationship (e.g. getting married) or whether it is just a sponsorship arrangement. Without communicating expectations you have very little chance of both parties being happy in the relationship, unless you set the bar so low that you have no expectations at all.
Winging it is fine for a low-risk endeavor such as a ST from NEP; I'm sure our approaches for that are very similar. However, a sponsorship involves a much higher investment (and hopefully a higher reward) and therefore requires a little due diligence and responsibility from both parties.
You can wax indignant about this if you like, but this is of no practical use unless you enjoy self-righteous anger.
Arcadius, you (and others) harp on this so much, and I really can't tell if you're arguing with me, or just some stereotype of an angry farang you're carrying in your head.
Your choice is between dealing with things as they are or with things as you think they ought to be.
I've said this so many times, but I guess I'll have to say it one more time. You seem to think that you have to choose between those two options. You can certainly attempt to act openly and honestly with others, ask them to treat you the same way and yet still be practical.
Example: I expect a bar to not stuff extra chits into my cup. It is clearly wrong for them to do so, yet I understand that it happens all the time in Thailand and so I keep an eye out for it. When it invariably does happen I don't jump up and start cursing and yelling about how all Thais are dirty, lying thieves. And it certainly doesn't mean that I lower my own ethical standards to take advantage of a cashier's mistake in my favor.
Bearing in mind that no-one is forcing you to get involved with TGs in the first place, and assuming your priority is to actually enjoy this involvement, you will find it a lot more productive to adapt yourself to the former.
You're saying that I should change my beliefs, opinions and desires and not ask them to change even a little bit? I don't think so. Whether it is a marriage or just a sponsorship, it is quite reasonable and sensible to ask the girl to compromise at least a bit.
If she were totally incapable of that, then I couldn't imagine ever entering into any sort of relationship with her. Maybe some people like to get involved with women who have no self-control, but if the girl really is such a brainless slut, then I'd say you're better off just paying her by the blow job and not putting her on retainer.
Bothering to ask yourself WHY you need a girl for whom you have no serious intentions to be faithful to you when you're not around might be a good place to start.
It is not a symmetric relationship; we're not talking about marriage. But how about these reasons:
1) I don't want to pick up any STDs (or pass them on to other lovers who might trust me)
2) I want the girl to finish her education and not piss away the opportunity I'm giving her
3) I don't want the money I give her to fund some other guys drinking and whoring, I want her to use it to enrich her life
4) I have some emotional attachment to the girl and don't want to be wondering if she is in the arms of another guy when I call her up
5) I want her available when I want her and not "taking care of a sick relative" when she's really with another man
6) I don't want her out shopping for better offers and prematurely ending our arrangement
...
There are plenty of good reasons why someone (not necessarily me) might want an exclusive arrangement. I'm not saying that it is the right thing for everyone in all situations, but it is a perfectly reasonable thing to ask.
Making some attempt, however feeble, to see the situation from her point of view won't kill you either.
Her perspective being what? If she goes into the situation knowing that she will not live up to her end (i.e. knowing that she is going to f_ck whoever she wants, even if I've made it clear), then she is not worthy of my respect and I will have little sympathy for her if she lives a life being treated as nothing but a cheap whore. If she tries to honor the arrangement and ends up being unhappy with it, then that is a different matter and I'd have to look at it on a case-by-case basis (the same way I'd look at a guy who cheats on his wife).
Refusing to do any of this because you can't get beyond sanctity of contract will only mean more frustration.
You've made a fine case for why sponsorship is probably a bad idea in most cases. You've not made any case for why I would want to sponsor a girl if I don't get anything out of it.
If exclusivity is not the primary purpose then what is the point of a sponsorship at all?
Is it so that I get a volume discount on her services? I better make sure I f_ck her 10 times a month to get my money's worth.
Is it so I have peace of mind knowing she only f_cks 3 other guys a month as opposed to the 20 if she had stayed in the bar?
And if it's just a charitable endeavor, I'd be better off giving my money to orphans and widows.
When you hire a BG in any capacity, she becomes in effect your employee. I think newbies to all this could do a lot worse than read one of the many 'how to' guides aimed at Western managers in LOS, and apply many of the same principles to their P4P love life. This stuff is practical guidance aimed at guys who simply have to get their dealings with Thai staff right or lose their own jobs for ineffectiveness.
Do these guides mention that you shouldn't ask or expect your employees to not embezzle your money? Look at it from the employee's perspective; they've been poor all their lives, they have families to support, you're not guaranteeing their job indefinitely,.... How can they be expected to resist taking a bit here and there when your company is obviously so rich?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:42 pm on May 20, 2004
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Minder
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I think the Catch 22 here is that any Thai girl I've ever met that would enter into such a deal is not someone that I would trust to keep it.
And the girls I would trust would never enter into such an immoral arrangement in the first place.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:55 am on May 23, 2004
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Bangkoksexydotcom
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There is a word for it. suggardaddies right thats what you are. I mean commmme one do you really think that these girls will stick with you if you stop paying and then of course they will leave if they get more money. If want them so badly TAKE THEM home. But do not give them a permant visa they will leave you. Lucky me I have a normal thai girl with 10 years in london. And she does not ask me for a penny. You can find 1000 of this normal girls around thailand BUT you will NOT find them in a GO GO BAR, ok. Get the big head thinking and them small head in the line.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:47 pm on May 23, 2004
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Minder
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Bangkoksexydotcom.....don't be such a cynic, I read about 32 year old failed blonde actressess marrying 92 year old oil millionaires all the time. Are you really suggesting they ALL do that just for the money? I'm sure some marry poor guys to. Leave me some hope for my poverty ridden old age can't you?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:00 am on May 24, 2004
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