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hypershade
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed below belong solely to the author. He does not intend to offend anyone (although some eloquent and witty flames are always welcome), as he is just offering his own personal elucidation.
Short version:
If you ever want to experience what the absolute bottom of all carbon-based life forms is capable of, pay a visit to Patong in Phuket.
Long (er) version:
In the (idle) hope to find some decent entertainment and also out of sheer curiosity, we spent one night in Patong before catching a plane back to Bangkok. I went there after 2 long, lonely weeks at sea and I was disgusted to my very bone.
At 2130 we entered an apparent affiliate of Suzie Wong’s in SC in Soi Seadragon. Of the 3 (!) girls on stage 2 had an ass bigger then Bud Spencer and one had a face to chip wood on. The other two were pretty revolting as well. After this rather unsettling and stomach turning experience, we decided wholeheartedly to enter no more bars. The Fear was just too big. I was once stuck on a carrousel during a carnival while on acid, but that was a walk in the park compared to this ride.
You cannot imagine the kind of despicable mob that roams the streets there. The old, drooling geezers with sleeveless t-shirts and flip-flops at Nana Disco are fashion models compared to the swinish multitude at Patong. Most of them looked like mentally deranged mongoloids with shorts and plastic slippers, but here and there were actually malformed and disfigured elements. It was a grotesque, yet fascinating sight. One guy (with a T-shirt of Gold’s Gym nonetheless) walked like a constantly forward bending S-shape, while vigorously pretending to be a fast-walker. Then there was the gang of 60-year olds, dressed like gangster rappers. Askew cap, gold chains, Tupac T-shirt, you name it.
The fun continued when we took shelter in a pizza place and 4 of these offscourings of society entered the place each holding a big bottle of Sing. They thought their conversation was so interesting that they had to shout it for the whole restaurant. If there is one thing that pisses me of it is that. It took a couple of stare-downs before they lowered their voices, but it set the trend for the evening. To make matters worse, the streets were totally void of anything eye pleasing. The creatures that tried to drag us into their bars were right out of Village of the Damned.
We were informed that Banana Disco could potentially have some eye candy in store, so with dread in our hearts we rushed down the street to this place - carefully avoiding the thousands of touts and evolutionary mishaps. The startling performance from “The Original Thai Elvis” (you heard me right) next to Bananas offered no relief for the aforementioned nauseation, so after a couple of replacing-shame chuckles we entered Bananas.
The interior is not bad, but despite the fact that I spent two weeks at sea with a pack of rough, hairy divers - completely women-and boozeless, breathing almost exclusively Nitrox - I was unable to locate something that pleased my eye for the whole evening. Let alone a creature I wanted to swap bodily fluids with. Residual nitrogen resulted in me being totally smashed after 4 rum cokes, but this not soften the blow a bit. Nor did it - thank God. - adjust my eyesight.
The fact that more and more of this loathsome, flip-flopped vermin kept pouring in made me constantly cover my mouth out of comic amazement and repugnance at the same time. I grabbed for the Valium and downed a couple of more rums.
I though Patpong in BKK was as low as one could get, but I was obviously mistaken. Patpong is Beverly Hills compared to the sleaziness and vile disgust of Patong.
How members of the human race, farang and Thai alike, can degrade themselves like this, is – luckily – beyond me.
(Or maybe I just came on a bad night.)
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:36 am on April 4, 2005
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Yurune
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Suzy Wongs in Patong is nothing to do with Suzy Wong's in Soi Cowboy.
ALL Phuket go-go's in my view are a dead loss, quite the most pathetic places I've ever visited.
Funnily enough when Go-Go's first started in Phuket years ago, the girls there were considered the cream of the crop, demanded huge fees at the time (1000B LT) and walked with their noses in the air. Hardley ever entered the places, beer bars were always my choice. Now I would enter them, they are not worth it.
One question...ever been to Pattaya?
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 4:46 am on April 4, 2005
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hypershade
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One question...ever been to Pattaya?
No. Will never go either.
I heard its even worse then Patong.
Is that why you ask?
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:50 am on April 4, 2005
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rami
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Why bother with gogo's in Patong? The only places with good looking girls it's Tiger and Baya Beach. All the rest is crap.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:06 am on April 4, 2005
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ringthebells
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and I thought he was over it.
rtb
somebody close the shades, please.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:36 am on April 4, 2005
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Abrak
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Quote: from hypershade on 4:44 pm on April 4, 2005
One question...ever been to Pattaya?
No. Will never go either.
I heard its even worse then Patong.
Is that why you ask?
HS,
You havent lived.
You really, really need to get down to Pattaya.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:40 am on April 4, 2005
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Smegma
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Quote: from hypershade on 4:44 pm on April 4, 2005
One question...ever been to Pattaya?
No. Will never go either.
I heard its even worse then Patong.
Is that why you ask?
I guess that is why he did ask. Because as I saw you speaking the way you did about Phuket, I wondered what you thought about the bars in Pattaya. Though to be fair, I have not been to Pattaya in well over 1.5 years, and I have heard that talent at the bars is now better than in Bangkok.
In Phuket, the bars with girls where Thai men go (not in Patong) can be fun and they have better looking girls than the go-gos.
P.S. Well, Yurune confirmed it while I was typing.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:42 am on April 4, 2005
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ringthebells
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abrak is correct because the gogo babes are much cuter then the ones in bkk.
ignore all the other sextouris.
rtb
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:42 am on April 4, 2005
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bkkfella
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Quote: from hypershade on 4:44 pm on April 4, 2005
One question...ever been to Pattaya?
No. Will never go either.
I heard its even worse then Patong.
Is that why you ask?
Hypershade
I have always enjoyed reading your posts. But you are waaaaayyyyyyy off with this opinion. Pattaya is not for everyone, true. If you don't like ultra casual beach type locales, you will not like P. But if you can enjoy that atmosphere, there is no place on earth like it. Imagine NEP extending from Soi 4 to Asoke to The emporium with nothing but beer bars and Gogos and 3 Soapies and restaurants and shops. There is something for everyone.
One of the great adventures in life is mining the beer bars for the hidden gems. And they are there. And new ladies arrive every week. And hot girls who have been bf'd for one month come back the day after you hit her bar. And the gogo girls are lookers (altho not necessarily good performers).
Before you condemn Pattaya, you ought to try a 4 day weekend there.
JMHO
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:40 am on April 4, 2005
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