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nonchai
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I have suggested that when I come to Thailand that we share a flat so we both can save money ( I have no job and will be only supported from rent on my 100% owned House in UK which will give me less than the income of about a native english teacher ) She says its normal that the boyfriend pays ALL of her residence costs as well as giving her "pocket money" on top. Is this so ? I am happy to help her and her family out from time to time - but dont like the idea of paying her a "salary" - its not as if i'm sponsoring her to stop her being a BG - because she has a normal job as a hairdresser. I have offered to pay ALL the rent so she can stay for free but she still wants "pocket money" even though shell be saving having to pay rent.
Whats the proper thing to do ?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:11 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Oaktoad
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It is common for farangs to pay the girl an allowance.
On the other hand, many Thai girls pay their Thai boyfriends so that they can drink and have some fun.
Some of the more industrious use the funds to buy a motorcycle and work one of the sois where they mostly sit and bullshit with their buddies.
I sure would not give pocket money if she has a regular job?? I have a regular g/f and I do pay for the apt, but never give her money as such, do buy dinners, etc, but then sometimes she buys too. I also put gas in her car, but hell she saves me way more on taxis etc on this.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:16 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Yurune
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I wouldn't worry about what thai guys do...you are not one and probably have no desire to be......
As Oaktoad said it is common for farangs but certainly not a rule....most farang guys I know with proper girlfriends...do not and are not asked to......they do pay for meals, rent etc as in a Western relationship.
I've always thought that many members are too tied up in the P4P scene that they really don't realise that 'normal' relationships as perceived in the West are very common and readily available here.
I would suggest one of two things.
Either say you will not pay a salary but that you will of course play the leading roll in the relationship financially.
or
Give her an allowance...and see if it tails off...if not start to feel a bit put on...she may be testing you...I do know a guy who'd girl negotiated an allowance....took it first month...and spent it 50-50 whilst they were out....refused it there after and said she was testing the fact she wasn't being used as free sex for a long term tourist. They are happily married 10 years later. A lovlier girl you couldn't wish to meet.
Bide your time...if the going gets tough bail out...if she has true feelings for you....she'll come round.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:55 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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jjsushi
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Quote: from nonchai on 7:11 am on Feb. 7, 2003
I have suggested that when I come to Thailand that we share a flat so we both can save money ( I have no job and will be only supported from rent on my 100% owned House in UK which will give me less than the income of about a native english teacher ) She says its normal that the boyfriend pays ALL of her residence costs as well as giving her "pocket money" on top. Is this so ? I am happy to help her and her family out from time to time - but dont like the idea of paying her a "salary" - its not as if i'm sponsoring her to stop her being a BG - because she has a normal job as a hairdresser. I have offered to pay ALL the rent so she can stay for free but she still wants "pocket money" even though shell be saving having to pay rent.
Whats the proper thing to do ?
I really don't think there is a standard answer for you. Thais like everybody else have different ways of sharing the financial burden.
What it really depends on IMO is her perception of your wealth. If she asking you for "pocket money" then she must believe that you have considerably more money than her.
I think you must make the effort to demonstrate to the woman that you do not have alot of money and institute a relationship where you both share the burden but not in the strict 50-50 Western style scenario.
What you may also do and this is what I have done in the past with a Thai woman is give her an allowance to run the home and make sure you pad it enough so that she isn't coming back to you for every little item and she has some extra for discretionary use. You would be surprised how some women can squeeze expenses in their budget so that they can put aside a lttle play money.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 8:28 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Marco
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I totally agree with Yurune : the relationships with "normal" Thai girls are and should stay the them as with girls in the west. Especially if the girl is working.
Asking you upfront for "pocket money" is for me a bad attitude that show that you are more an ATM than a boyfriend for her. It is of course ok to give pocket money regularly but it should be done in a more natural easy going way, not on a payroll.
What is it requesting a salary : staying with you is a job ?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:37 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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nonchai
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She never used the terms "salary" or "pocket money" - those were just my way of describing what she was saying but she was pretty insistent that i should give her some money as well as paying for the flat. Thanks for the advice - i shall play this one by ear.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:51 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Yurune
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Nonchai...I think you are okay at the moment.....she may only be asking for housekeeping....money to buy food....which is a more than resonable request......I think many problems stem from over analysis of the exact words spoken 'pocket money', 'money for me'...when you are dealing with someone who is doing their best to get by in English.
You sound on good ground from what I've heard.....I've seen many relationships hit trouble because a guy thinks he's being taken for a ride when he isn't......be wary...but do not become paranoid......
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:03 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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pinga
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If you have a gf coming from the bar/GG/MP/HiSo Club scene you might be expected to support certain expenses. Why? Cos she already got use to a certain income and odds that she can left the scene (and the money) cos of a farang/Thai darling. It may happen but not in most cases.
In fact few of my Thai male colleagues (most of them married) got HISo Clubs-type TGs as part time gf. They are paying considerable amounts of money in monthly basis to these girls and the only commitment they get form the TGs is that they WILL NOT go out with customers. Only drink in the Club/Disco Pub. The girls know that they can screw a "hansum" guy anytime but they put the "support" under risk by doing so....
On the other hand. If you get a Thai gf (non-prostitute) with a normal daytime work, etc. you may realise that money is not a big issue. You behave as in Western countries i.e. you pay for dinners, movies, entertainment, etc. and sometimes you will get a bang that will suck your brains....But there is nothing concerning an allowance per month or the like. I think we will insult these kind of girls by doing so.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:11 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Simon WS
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I must say, I don't get what's in it for the girl, if you have no intentions of marrying her.
She has X years of youth left and if she spends a part of it with you, after which you go back to your house in London, she is left with nothing. If you were married, you would have to pay alimony, so if its LTR, its fair for her to want something to save for herself. After all you're getting a cheap deal too. If your income is as low as you are saying, you wouldn't be able to afford Poseidon more than twice a month. So why not be fair and pay her something as pocket money. There is a guy in my apt who has a similiar arrangement and he pays for every thing plus 10K a month. My guess is that she makes another 10K herself.
Thanks for post, it has opened up a new option that I hadn't considered before. If I can get an attractive hair-dresser as a live-GF, I'll be in paradise!
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 9:33 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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Yurune
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Simon makes a very valid point...a relationship is a relationship.....I've seen guys get everything from a TG....love, companionship and whatever else couples do....and then just leave....saw one girl totally destroyed...she felt so worthless as to go work in a bar when she'd never done such a thing before.
Luckily with the help and support of some of his friends she was out of there quickly.
It's a difficult one though to compensate a non working girl in a salary like way.......be generous and pay for the good things in life...and make sure she has enough money in her pocket to be seen to be self sufficient by her peers.....she'll probably buy you some beer with it.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:45 pm on Feb. 6, 2003
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