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Rodeoooo
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Ok folks,
dont flame me right away, ok?
First, I am 48, single, have lived worldwide
Sold timeshare for 10 years, now do another type of
(honest) sales....so I have seen a hussle or two and
some real good liars, cheats and con men/women....
Have been to LOS several times and know the dangers of
my plan.
That said and done, here is the plan:
Fiance visa in process, finish @ June
Coming to LOS mid feb to present the engagement ring
(Valentines day)
Will meet Mom and some family on this trip
Back to LOS March or April for the Buddist wedding
Will be in LOS every 4-6 weeks for a week
Once visa in hand, bring the Princess to California
Visa is for 90 days, marry or go home
Fiance will be in English school till she gets here
Once in California, get her aclimated, then @ 30 days in CA,
have her sign the Pre nep, then marry in California
Result:
7 month engagement, she happy, I am protected
pretty well
Specific Questions:
When meeting Mom for first time what is Protacal
do I bring her a gift?
what kind of gift?
do I bring her brothers/sisters gifts?
what type
she has 2 kids, and I will be bringing them gifts
what kind?
Buddist wedding:
protacol
gift to monk?
present to village / village elders?
Her new apartment:
(willupgrade her apt so I can quit paying hotels)
how much should I pay for a furnished 1 bedroom
with kitchen and hi speed internet access?
Gents ( and I hope ladies)
thank you for bearing with the long post
ANY comments are appreciated
The info I have gleaned from this forum has made my trips
to LOS much more enjoyable and most of all made
it possible to scout for my Mate
Disclamer: yes, I have read ALL the posts her of the horror stories
i am not thinking all times with my little head, have distanced my
self in analyizing the situation. (My job involves travel, and for 3 months
have NOT called my regular girls, and have turned down the screen scratchers
at home,,,this has Never happened...)
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:04 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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canomad
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Okay,
Maybe it will work. the odds are probably just as good as with any of the spoiled, primadonnas you find all over California.
Now for the rest of you that want to send money etc. If you want to send money for your girl fine. But consider it a gift to someone that is struggling to escape a life of poverty for herself and her family.
I was sitting at the internert store here in Bangkok today and a couple of bargirls sat at the machine next to me. Becuase their machine was in front of mine and to the right it was impossible to not see their screen when I looked up.
I know its not nice to be nosey but I looked over a few times. My best guess is they sent 25-35 emails. One did all the typing. After the first email they copied the contents. The emails started Dear Dave, dear Bob etc. It looked like they had bank account numbers in the emails. Between emails they would stop and talk then the first one would type, my guess it was a little something to make each one personal. total time they spent was 40 -50 minutes. If they were real estate agents you would say they were farming.
I personally don't care. I have had bar girls send me emails asking for money. I thought about sending (but didn't) becuase I liked the girls and would not mind doing something to make their life a little easier.
But I don't have any delusions. I am 49 and reasonably good looking. But a 22 yr old thai girl would find me an attractive husband because I can provide a comfortable life and I am a nice guy. Romantic love the way most westerners think of it - Not gonna happen. But hey 55% of the marriages in the USA fail. And alot of them becuase people only pretend to love each other. At least with a thai girl you know that she has made a deliberate choice. If she says she loves you she means I love that you have white skin, I love that you can lift me and my family out of poverty, I love that you treat me nice. BUT that's it.
You want to send money to your bar girl go ahead. But keep in mind you are not the first and she trusts you even less that we trust them. You know how many guys have told them that they would take them out of poverty? Probably 5 o 6 times the number of emails those 2 bargirls sitting next to me sent.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:40 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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Rodeoooo
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i agree friend with alot of what you said
however the Fat White Chicks with ATTITUDES in californaia are a pain
and the divorce rate is @ 80%
so, WTF?
ps
my TG has moved back to the country (?)
time will tell, the saga will go on...
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:01 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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hzink
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Quote: from Rodeoooo on 1:04 am on Feb. 1, 2004
7 month engagement, she happy, I am protected
pretty well
No, you are not - though your odds with the worst of TG situation are probably a billion dollars better than with any California chick, so go ahead.
Still, if you're interested in really protecting your assets, and being able to marry without a PreNup, let me know, or contact me offline. It's quite easy, and completely impenetrable.
Harry
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 1:29 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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hzink
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Quote: from Rodeoooo on 2:01 am on Feb. 1, 2004
my TG has moved back to the country (?)
time will tell, the saga will go on...
You know, though, if she moved back home, and you can keep her there (i.e. keep sending her money), she will most likely not stary - unless some old 'friend' of hers flys up to visit her.
Still, what was said above does hold true. The visions of 'love' are drastically different between our cultures, and just be aware of that.
Harry
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:34 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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hzink
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Quote: from canomad on 1:40 am on Feb. 1, 2004
Romantic love the way most westerners think of it - Not gonna happen. But hey 55% of the marriages in the USA fail. And alot of them becuase people only pretend to love each other. At least with a thai girl you know that she has made a deliberate choice. If she says she loves you she means I love that you have white skin, I love that you can lift me and my family out of poverty, I love that you treat me nice. BUT that's it.
I'm sure Hermie will vehemently disagree 
Harry
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:34 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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Ballsburstin
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canomad,
Agree down the line with most of what has been said here. A question for you: how long have you known your TGF?
I've been with my TGF for 2 years now, we are not (yet?) married, and there is some pressure to do so, but not much. She is aware she must finish school (12th grade) before this is an option. In fact, when her mom asked her if that was in the cards, she laughed and said, "maybe I have to wait 10 years, then he marry me."
People do develop deep emotional feelings over time, despite all the "asian women only marry for security and family" stuff you hear. So, yes, a partnership and deep friendship will develop with you and your TGF if you are able to keep it together and you really have common goals. However, my TGF is almost 26 now (I'm 46) so her "shelf-life" is coming to a close (in her view). This is a stabilizing influence in our relationship.
But it is important to keep in mind that it is your Thai lady's obligation to her family that will overshadow much of what you do in the relationship. This is not a bad thing, but it is a culturalism and must be addressed often. It's a good idea to talk about it every once in a while in a non-confrontational way to let her know you understand these obligations she has, and that you will work with her to a reasonable extent to help her with these. The key word here being "reasonable." There are avaricious people in all families, my TGF's family is no exception. I just accept that as part of the dynamic, and set boundaries which she understands.
My TGF knows she is free to leave and find greener pastures, and that freedom has required her to assess whether she wants to. I told her early on that I understood why she might want to do this because of pressure from family, being a single mom, etc., and that seems to have stabilized things, as it requires her to make a choice about why she is with me. So her "Ben Franklin list" thus far has her betting on me as her future. I make it a point of keeping her informed about what I do during the weeks while I am away, both personally, and jobwise. This is re-educating her about the fantasy that everyone from America is a millionaire, and let's her know that we have to work hard for money, and sometimes things don't go well here either.
Which gets me back to my first point: if you have been with your TGF for a short period of time, you have no reasonable way to judge how she views all these kind of issues, and if she can be stable enough to be with you as she moves through her early to mid 20's. My TGF was 23 1/2 when I met her, and 2 years later she has changed and grown up a lot. She is making much better decisions now than when I first met her (hey, I wasn't any different when I was in my 20's).
I would also recommend you spend some time getting to know the family, as you will begin to spot the rotten apples in the barrel and be able to see how your TGF deals with them. While upcountry, I was approached a couple of times by scheming relatives (sister's of her mother, I believe) for handouts (literally). My ploy for this was to pantomine that I give all my money to my TGF and they should ask her. I said this while smiling broadly, inviting them to go talk with her. This completely disarmed them, and they never asked her. When I told her about this, she got a little miffed, as she felt she was already giving plenty to her family, and they shouldn't be "spare changing" me. This is a reasonable ploy, because in traditional upcountry families, the husband often turns over the income to the wife, and she doles it out for food, clothes, extended family and friends, etc. (This can make it a little tough for the husband to sneak out for short-times, ha!)
Regarding the gifts thing, I went shopping for clothes and sundries with my TGF prior to my 1st visit upcountry with her family. We didn't spend a lot, but the items she picked out were very practical. When we got to her house, I was treated to a sumptuous dinner (on the floor, Isaan style) that evening and it seemed like all the relatives and most of the neighbors dropped by for a peek and bite to eat. Her mom and a friend spent several hours preparing some extraordinary sauces, some of which I'd never had, and were local recipes. They were delicious, expecailly the peanut sauce!
I stayed a few days. We spent two days hiking with her family through the local highland jungle parks (really beautiful) and swimming in the river near a waterfall.
On the last day, my TGF, her younger sister, her mom and I went shopping in Udon Thani. We hit the department stores for clothes (I think I paid about $60 USD that day) and then grabbed a bunch of food for dinner that night. I asked my TGF to pick out something for dinner her dad would really like (and wouldn't normally get because of the cost), so we grabbed a bunch of jumbo prawns, fish, and squid.
The BBQ that night was delicious, everyone had a good time, and long after my TGF and I packed it in, her dad (who is the village headman) was still entertaining a steady stream of his friends. When we got up the next day and left, things were very informal. No long tearstained goodbyes, just "see ya later!" This is normal for upcountry. People come and go in each others' houses (stilt houses) without a lot of fanfare. To a westerner, this may seem too informal, maybe even uncaring -- it's not, it's just how they structure their interactions.
Anyway, I would also ask yourself these fundamental questions: are you better off having her visit you in the U.S. for 7 months, or seeing how she behaves in her own culture/family for 7 months? How long would you wait in your own culture to marry someone? Would she really wait for you if you hadn't planned to marry her right away but want to take a more measured approach?
I agree with the other bro's here, your odds are 'bout as good in LOS as anywhere these days, and I'd take up hzink on his offer to lend advice about pre-ups, etc.
Hmmm, a long ramble, but thought you might benefit from some things I've seen. Your mileage may vary.
Chok dee!
- Balls
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:32 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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Ronnie Raygun
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Two questions:
1) Regarding gifts, what does she think? I'd go with her advice.
2) Will a pre-nup really stand up if her English is limited?
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:02 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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CiaoCiao
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Rodeo,
A lot of concern for gifts but no mention by you of the biggest gift of all, the dowry. Don't forget to take into account that most major item.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:10 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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fastmover
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$Rodeo,000, well first, congratualions, sincerely.
It may not be what most guys will do, however it's what you want to do and for that you deserve respect.
You have a pretty good thread going here, so I hope you continue posting details as you both progress.
$Rodeo,000?
Well it will cost you a fair amount, but I think you know that. Once again congratualtions and keep posting the details.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:39 pm on Jan. 31, 2004
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