| |
aircrest
|
I wrote this story in response to Stickman talking about Thai orphans.
I am not one who would normally write about my experiences, but I read through a couple of your back news letters and there was a picture of a bg with a small child and unknown
father. This hit so close to home I thought I would write of my experience.
I started working in the Middle East and taking my vacation time in Thailand just like many of the expats. I met a girl in a bar and she moved in with me during my month stay. She quit going to the bar and I paid rent and expenses. She basically had no family so I did not have to pay for any sick cows. She made no bones about it: she wanted to get married and have a child. I truly believe my brains were in my pants instead of my head, but we got married, purchased a townhouse and along came the baby. Life was good. I continued to travel back and forth to the Middle East and everything seemed to be in order. We made a couple of trips to the United States and I learned right then she would never live in the US. Oh well maybe I will just live in Thailand.
Problems started when the baby was about two years old. I would come home and she told me she was going to the store and would be back shortly. Well shortly turned into the next day and I was stuck home with the child. This happened a few times over the next year and I simply could not handle it. Was it a boyfriend on the side? I assumed it was and I had probably been supporting him. It would have been easy to walk away from the situation, but there was the child. I could never just abandon that child. On the next few visits I stayed in a hotel and she would bring the child to visit me. Sometimes I would keep him for two or three days. I had no choice but to continue sending money as he was my responsibility and even if all the money did not go for him I had no other choice in the matter. I continued to pay for the townhouse and living expenses. I will guess my son was probably 6 years old when I finished my job and moved back to the US. I would have him fly to the US when he was out of school and we always had a terrific time together.
About the time he turned 9 years old he came to the US for the summer as his school was out and he had been there about a month when he told me he was not going back. As young as he was he understood he was an American citizen and was simply not going back. Boy this was a wake-up call. Here I am, a single 48 year old and becoming a mother and a father. I decided to give it a try and days lead into weeks and weeks into months and months into years. It was not long after he decided to stay I cut off the finances to Thailand. Yes there were some letters, but I simply did not answer them. I told my accountant to simply remove her name from my income tax.
There were difficult times. I remember the first day I put him in school. He did not have the slightest idea of what that teacher said all day. We started at night with 10 words each day. I had to translate them, mostly using charades and then he would spell them. We went until midnight on many occasions. It was rough on both of us, but the desire was there. I remember asking him not long after he came to the US what do you want to be
when you grow up. Without hesitation he said an Airline Pilot.
Well folks we do not hear from his mother and have no idea where she is. He only mentions her on his birthday. He has never told me of the experiences he had when he was little and I was at work. I do believe it was difficult for him. I never bring up the subject. It is history.
Oh yes he always studied hard and never was a problem for me. He is my best friend. Never was in any kind of trouble and right now he is 21 years old, graduated from college with an AAS degree in Aviation Science and working as a flight instructor. He will see his dream as an airline pilot in a few years.
Although the marriage was a bust I do not regret anything I have done. Now Daddy has time to travel to Thailand and play once again, but much smarter.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:15 am on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
PopSecret
|
Thank you so much for your story. I think it's a great message to all of us. Much of the time you just hear mongers going on and on about "dump the bitch, %%%% the kid, blah blah blah". It's nice to know that some folks still take responsibility for their actions. I'm glad it worked out for you and I wish the best for your son. Really sounds like he doesn't need it though. Congrats to both of you.
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:25 am on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
ringthebells
|
hats off, to both of you.
rtb
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:25 am on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
Soi Magpie
|
*clap* *clap*
Thanks for your story!
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:28 am on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
expatchuck
|
Aircrest:
Sounds a lot like my story so no need to bore you with it but I, too, am a single parent of an 11 year old daughter.
Her mother started running around, left the daughter with me and agreed to take the house, car and most of the cash in the divorce in exchange for full custody of my daughter. I got the best end of the deal but it has taken me almost three years to recover.
My daughter is happy, I'm single and happy, our house in Pattaya is paid for and I have two sets of golf clubs. She is fluent in English and Thai and knows more about this stinking computer than I do
The only real fear I have is how do I explain the menstrual cycle to her when it starts!
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:26 pm on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
aircrest
|
Boy I had it easy. I always wondered if I could have handled the situation if he had been a she. I hope I could have.
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:35 pm on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
|
|
nokna
|
thanks Aircrest.
that's the kind of heart-warming story I like..
expatchuck.
kudos to you as well and I hope all goes well for you in the future....
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:13 pm on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
ukguy84
|
Falling in love in Thailand is a very easy thing to do, I found 2 girls in Phuket who I would have easely spent the rest of my life with, I was spoilt for choice.
Two things stopped me getting into the same situation as aircrest and expatchuck.
1 I am already married 
2 I had the snip 14 years ago
I will be back next year to do it all over again.
Respect to aircrest and expatchuck for leting the rest of us in on your story.
UKGUY
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:59 pm on Dec. 9, 2003
|
|
Smegma
|
Aircrest, forgive me if I understood wrongly (I have doubts as I seem to be the only one to have a dissenting opinion so far), but there is one point that I am not sure I see eye to eye with you.
The boy was 9 when he went to the USA and asked that he wanted to stay. Fine. You are the father. Fine. But he is only 9 and a minor. Here is where Idisagree: you cutting financial support to the mother, I understand it, but you deciding to cut all links so that the mother can not have access to her child looks bad to me. You said she wrote to you, but you never replied.
The child is still only 9 years old. In the reverse situation, if this was happening in your home country (the USA), and to you, you could claim the mother had kidnapped the child. Any court (and people in general) would agree that the other parent still has at the very least visiting rights -if not shared legal custody.
The romantic life of your ex -she being unfaithfull, or the breakup of your marriage, is not excuse that to me justifies, unilaterally making the child unavailable to her.
Look at it from her point of view: her loved son all of a sudden dissapeared and she has never heard from him since. Having little money, and likely lacking knowledge of these matters, she probably didn't know how to pursue this matter legally. There is nothing she could have done. One more thing, at the tender age of 9, children focus on the most inmediate thing and tend to move on and forget fast. Thus responsability lies on you as the mature adult.
Besides the above, I am glad that the experience has been positive for both of you. BTW, it is never too late for the now grown man to go try to restablish links with his mother. He may at some date resent you for not having encourage him to do it at an earlier age, when he didn't know better.
Cheers
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:59 am on Dec. 10, 2003
|
|
| |
|
