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paulo100
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Quote: from DaffyDuck on 3:18 pm on April 25, 2009
Ah, of course, that makes perfect sense since you were brought up in Thailand... Oh wait, you weren't.
Then again, your Thai GF, of course, having been raised in the western culture, just like you, should understand completely... oh wait, no she wasn't.
DD, no need to get personal. Part of the reason I started this post in the first place was to find out if those more expert than me if this was a cultural difference or not. You clearly think it is.
I am not so sure but certainly prepared to listen to others who know the Thai mind better than I. Thanks for your thoughts. Really, I mean it.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:15 am on April 25, 2009
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Joe Wood
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Quote from Paulo100......... ".............Responses from Thai girlfriend experts welcome please................"
Well I am no expert at all.
And if the truth be known, on the subject of Thai girlfriends, the possessor of the least knowledge.
But, that ain't going to stop me.
Paulo100, take the words of DD with a pinch of salt. He has problems of his own.
I like tailife'sgenerosity and willingnes to understand or se a potential alternative to look at the situation.
But apart rom that, most of what has been written, gives the impression that guys view Thai girls as being all the same.
What a mistake.
A stereotypical view geralised to cover all American girls or all English girls would be ruled ut of order immediuately. Buyt let someone spout off about Thai girls and it seems O.K. But that impression is born of ignorance.
One canot generalize.
Certainly if things said or done rub you up the wrong way, one can easily get either disturbed or worried about the motives or intentions of the other party..
Her demands seemed completely out of character.
They were............... as you wee able to read her words.
But they were not her meaning.
They weren't her nor what you knew of her.
It was an instance of miscommunication and misunderstanding.
She didn't know how to ask you for something and you didn't know how to read what she had intended to write.
The solution on the first text recieved would have been to phone her up and talk it through.
Too many assumptions on your part, about the meaning of her words and what they implied to you.
And quite possibly too many asssumptions made by her about you, you having already forked out for an IPod phone for her, working in the West, coming on holiday frequently, able to phone each day, maybe the cost of the second phone and the cancellation of the first would be no trouble at all to you and since you have always been so kind and generous to her, maybe you would want her to have what she really wanted.
But then, she should have asked.
Many people don't realise the limitations of text messages.
Jus as many many more people don't realise the limitations of speech.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:45 pm on April 25, 2009
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thailife
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the only real understanding my wiofe has of the english language is when I say "suck my cock'. there is never a misunderstanding.
She likes to squeeze out the last drop of sperm from my cock. She says "give me last drop". So cute.
I will generalise this: Thai women need to save face. They like to eat. They like to have money. They tend to live a simple life. Politics? not a big thing when you are from Isaan just trying to find your next meal.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:51 pm on April 25, 2009
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DaffyDuck
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Quote: from paulo100 on 11:15 pm on April 25, 2009
DD, no need to get personal. Part of the reason I started this post in the first place was to find out if those more expert than me if this was a cultural difference or not. You clearly think it is.
I am not so sure but certainly prepared to listen to others who know the Thai mind better than I. Thanks for your thoughts. Really, I mean it.
For starters, pick up a book called 'Thailand Fever'
http://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-Chris-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240685496&sr=8-1
By no means a comprehensive 'Bible' on Thai relationships, but it certainly helps shed some light on the major cultural and perceptive differences between the Thai and Western viewpoints - in addition, it's a great book to read with your GF, as half the pages are in English, the other half in Thai. In other words, you can find the chapter that applies to an issue you may have, relating to your culture, and you can hand the book to her, and it will explain it it to her - conversely, she can find a chapter explaining something she wants to explain to you, hands it to you, and you can read it in English.
Thais, in general, are very direct about certain things (while ironically avoiding others) -- you generally won't have many people in the west greet you with "Hey, you're fat!" or in the middle of an innocuous public conversation ask, across the table, "Hey, how much money do you make" - which can happen in Thailand very easily (and should always be dealt with humorously, IMO).
Similarly, you may get a request for material goods - though if you are smart about your relationship, it should be your 'job' to anticipate what material goods your GF wants, or would appreciate.
I have had requests for digital cameras before from girls I know - ranging from 'hints' the girl dropped, to an almost embarrassed request (for a trip she took with family), to something similar you experienced (text: 'I need a digital camera, can you send please'). I nearly all of these cases, I use these requests as an excuse to upgrade my own digital camera, by passing it on to the girl, and buying a new one for myself. This works out well for everyone, particularly since the girl also gets two batteries with her camera, taking care of the battery issue - I also always make sure to include the largest memory card. Unlike us, the girls don't have computers to offload their images, and I often find they keep the images on the memory card eternally -- so, there's two additional mental notes to make for yourself:
- when you hang out with her, pay to have the pictures she has on her memory card printed out digitally, preferably always in duplicate so she can share.
- once every couple of months, think about picking up an extra memory card for her, and maybe some wallet type thing to keep memory cards organized.
(I have a feeling that when you sent her the camera, you assumed that the measly memory card that comes with it would be 'plenty' (most of these included cards are useless and hold less than 10 pictures).
Either way, you are expected to think ahead of those issues - and understand her cultural background as well, particularly when she can't speak English that well -- and flipping out over a badly written text message from a girl that doesn't speak English too well... Well, consider for a moment how much misunderstanding any of your efforts to speak, much less write, in Thai could result in.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 2:03 pm on April 25, 2009
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bkkz
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What happened to the "grengjai" that the Thais are supposed to be well known for? I gave one of my spare mobile phones to my TG friend. She didn't quite like it and asked me if she could change it. I told her to do anything she liked as I had given it to her. She took it to a shop and traded it in for a better model that she liked.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:01 pm on April 25, 2009
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Quim
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If you really like her, and want to continue the relationship, I would recommend finding a way to patch things up. The question is, what do you really want?
Sounds like it was the first time, so it's hard for anyone, even you, to know what to make of her asking you for something (and I credit her for knowing what she wants, even if I don't credit the manner in which she communicated that knowledge, but then that may very well be cultural). You would need to see where this newfound assertiveness of hers leads. Again, assuming you care enough to find out.
One of the things that happens in long-term relationships is that we start to make more demands of our partner. This is natural, in the context of a relationship, and should not be mistaken with taking advantage of you. No offense, but you may be a little overly sensitive to the "buy me things" because... well, because it's a TG. (My US GFs have all fully expected me to buy them expensive things, at various times, they are just more circumspect about asking. GFs see it as a sign of our devotion.)
Oh, and by the way, you compared the price of the camera to her wages, when you really should have compared the price to your wages, as you were the one buying it.
Anyhow, that's just my two satang, good luck! 
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:59 pm on April 25, 2009
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Skip
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It's like Helen Gurley Brown said, "“Welcoming a penis just seems more womanly to me than baking chocolate chip cookies or doling out money for a grandchild’s college tuition.” More womanly AND more rewarding.
Paulo100, put it in this context: We are fodder for their material ambitions. They in turn feed our ego/libido ambitions.
The vast majority of Thai women who give our ilk the time of day are doing so whilst asking themselves the obvious - "What's in it for me?"
Here's the irony to watch out for in the road ahead: the more we say yes and bestow our largesse upon them less they respect us.
In this case, she pushed a wee bit too hard for your largesse. Your balking has served to delineate a boundary. At this point, if you acquiesce, you will soon receive more grandiose requests.
Please remind yourself this: there are millions of fish in our sea.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:24 pm on April 25, 2009
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jumpinjack
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sImple, it is rude not difference in customs. She will ask for other thngs in the weeks ahead if you stay together.
VERY few exceptions. They hide behind culture and always say..("oh so sorry!").
Classic appoach and asking for other things, it is a rude and culture excuse dosent apply. Your willingnes to buy her things is an ATM test. A test but I am cynical and likely B.S IMHO
my advice and only mine stay clear.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:34 pm on April 25, 2009
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S M E G M A
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Not a similar situation, but one which also shows the difference between western and Thais in how conflicts are dealt with.
Some weeks ago I had a situation where a girl I know got upset and asked me to never call her again, that she didn't want to talk to me ever again. I knew she was wrong, but I also felt that her anger at the time was genuine, thus no point in trying to argue or reason with her. I left Thailand without talking to her again.
While in Thailand she had said she wanted to buy X. I told her that I had 3, one of which I was not using. That I would send her the one I was not using once I was back home.
A few weeks after leaving Thailand, as I had promised, I sent her said X by DHL. I didn't write any note or anything. Just sent the thing by itself without any explanation.
Then one day she calls me from Thailand to say thanks for sending her X, that she liked it, etc etc. and we talked as if that fight of weeks earlier had never taken place.
That is very typical of Thais. Let time pass, get over the issue, forget it and then do not bring it up and act as if it never took place. Forget the western concept of catharsis. No need to rehash the past if you really want to move forward.
In Thailand, the passage of time takes care of past conflicts.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:29 pm on April 25, 2009
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expatchuck
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IF you want to remain with her, buy her the more expensive one if you can afford it. You're not paying for her services otherwise.
Tell her it was a misunderstanding and move forward.
Ignore the duckhead. He calls everybody dumb.
He is using an out of context quote of mine for his signature. Does that tell you what kind of life this guy leads? 
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:39 pm on April 25, 2009
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