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Vegas
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COLD 187........this is a very sad story; I hope that you do the right thing here. However, if this is the same girl that you refer to in your May 7th post and in your February 10th post; than perhaps you are doing some creative writing to make the brothers rethink our ways.
I went back to read your original story to see how you came to be in this situation, and it seems that you are very young and met a beautiful girl at an MP; you did not begin a sexual relation with her, but what sounds like a friendship. If she now is HIV+, you do owe her your friendship, but not your eternal love and support since you hadn't reached that level in your relationship already. I hope that this also answers your question in your May 7th post regarding sending money to your TG who has a very high standard of living.
You are much too young and inexperienced to take on responsibility for another human being. You will have to learn to think for and take care of yourself first.
Judging by your other, non AIDS related posts, it sounds like you have more than one true love in LOS.
If I am mistaken, I apologize and I wish you the best. If not, then shame on you; this is not an amusing matter.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:03 am on June 13, 2003
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kev29ie
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COLD 187,
I reflect what a lot of the bros have said. I would also like to ask that Nasty Nick and others who condone bare backing will read this post. It is a very stressing, distressing, confussing and difficult place to be.
You gave to decide a few things
1) What are your responsibilities - (it seems pretty obvious that you were not the donor - so you dont have any obligations)
2) Disregarding the responsibilities, what do you feel you should do
3) What are you prepared to do and what fits with you.
You have to weigh up everything here, because how you act here, may become a big thing for you. It seems from your posts that you are sensitive and caring, and therefore if you drop[ her immediately, it may cvause you pain and concience in time to come.
You also got to balance that with practicalities, such as finance, you living your own life rather than living through others, your existing responsibilities, families and relationships etc.
As was written in Trainspotting 'its easy to be philosphical about AIDS when its some other c*** who has shite for blood', and that is true.
I suppose what I would do is to give the support that I can, without committing my life to this person. To be there for her some of the time, but not to lose sight of yourself and your own pain, pressures and needs in this situation.
Without first taking care of yourself it is impossible to care for others.
Kev
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 5:18 am on June 13, 2003
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Yurune
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Whether you retain her as your girlfriend or not I think only you can decide.
But do not desert her as a friend and try to give her some of the love and support she'll need.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:23 am on June 13, 2003
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Kenny
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COLD187- I can see that you really care about your TGF. If I was in your shoes and my GF developed HIV, I would not leave her. I would be with her 100%. If you love her and care about her, why would HIV be a road block for you? Sure, HIV would be an obstacle, but just keep in mind that it is only an obstacle, and you can get around it. HIV doesn't mean the end of life. Many HIV positive peopel live to their fullest. You can still enjoy the aspects of life with her, although making love would be out of the question. This is what I would do. Good luck brother.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 6:04 pm on June 13, 2003
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COLD187
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I trully thank u guys especially Vegas for going through my previous post.(u noted everything right except MP,she's a BG)..Mr.Vegas,yes i do Ýowe her a responsibity as a friend.She have help me everytime when i'm there(u guys wonnt believe what she did to me!!!)..To repay her kindness,several time i offered money to her.But she just dont want.Few days ago,she called me at 4am(thai time)
TGF:hi T****,i missed u so much.I'm alone her and i can feel that i'm at the tip of my life.Will u do me a favour?..
ME:Yes,of course.
TGF: Ý Ý I want u to be here with me,PLEASE!.Everytime u come to Ý Ý ÝBKK u stay just for few days, i want u stay longer.....suddenly Ý Ý Ý Ý she started crying.crying and crying..I never experiece anyone Ý Ý Ý Ý Ýgiving me such a warmth and caring support.U make me laugh,u make Ý Ý Ýme cry....I still remember everyword u said to me..I want u next to Ý Ý me,do u know that since i was young, i was never together with my Ý Ý Ý family.Mom always busy with work,she got no option but to send me Ý Ý Ý Ý and brother to cousin's house.I was raised by my aunty.
Ý ÝFew years later,brother went looking for job in BKK.Since Ý Ý then,never came back.That is the time i lost my love feelings...we Ý Ý never together,we never together.
Ý ÝAfter working few years in BKK.I've met several guys which i 'USE' Ý Ý them for digging money.I send some to mom.
Ý Ý Ý Ý I never said,i want money from u...Please T****!!!,..i dont Ý Ý want a single cent from u.I'm losing my energy to live.All i want Ý Ý is someone to care for me,be with me,love me,talk to me,make me Ý Ý laugh..Face the reality T****, u are young.Will u come and see me Ý Ý forever??I have short life span and i can't be with u till the Ý Ý end..i bet one day u will fall for other gals.
Ý Ý Ý ÝWhen the first time i saw u,i liked u.I'm impress with ur Ý Ý caring attitude.I always dreamed of having a guy like u as my Bf.My Ý Ý only hope is u,..supporting mentally..and to be strong.
ME: Dont worry,i promise to be there with u,forever.Give me time J**.
TGF:sometimes when i look myself at the mirror,i feel so guilty doing Ý Ý this job.I must face the reality and all the consequences.
This is a terrible life experiece for me.I centainly dont know whats the next step i should take.I love her so much,i'm very sure this is not puppy love or merely crush.My feelings toward her for the past 2years have growed to the max.I'm Not trowing the towel yet.I agree with u Vegas,i am not ready to weight such a huge responsibily.
I'm not trying to change this 'GAME',..just wanted u guys to dig this shit.For those who are stressed and uncomfortable over my sensitive post.I'm sorry......Life goes on,as the world keep turning chronic get burning.Now,get that thang goin' on man!!!!...
Finally,thanks again to Vegas(would like to know u personally),kev29ie,hamm sup,liftoff,andy007,kenny and for all i forget to mention.ONELOVE!!!
Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý***THE LAST SHALL BE THE FIRST***
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:03 am on June 14, 2003
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Rimbaud
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Cold 187,
I feel for you. ÝIíve never lost anyone to HIV/AIDS, but I spent the last six years as my fatherís primary care giver. ÝHe finally died last year. ÝWatching the most amazing human I have ever known die a slow and painful death was horrifying. ÝIt was the hardest thing I have ever done and changed me forever. ÝI kept thinking through out "I'm too f_cking young to be doing this." But live goes on and I am significantly stronger because of the experience. I'm glad I didn't cut-and-run like some family members did. ÝIt was an easy decision for me to make: he was family and he had lived a full life. ÝYours is more difficult and your gf is probably very young (under 40). ÝIf you love her that much, do take care of her.
Kev29ie summed it up well. ÝAs a caring and sensitive person, youíll naturally want to help her, but donít forget to take care of yourself, too. ÝClichÈ time: Ýput your oxygen mask on first. ÝThat which does not kill you makes you stronger.
Good luck. ÝPlease keep submitting to the board. ÝIt will probably help you. ÝI filled a cd with journal entries over the last six years and that seemed to be my therapy.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:02 am on June 14, 2003
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dirty guru
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that last post is worth something...look mate we all respect what your taking on..you are a good guy..and as pointed out its not the end..just be careful not to sink too into greive..be supportive but maybe move along to a situation that you can better deal with it i recommend a shift towards open mindedness interms of another girlfriend while still supporting this one if life turns to hell...and if you love her too much to do this in the future than your a saint and hats all round off to you take care bro
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:55 am on June 14, 2003
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cmore
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Brother COLD187 I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. Very few of us can. All I can say is that I know you'll do the right thing for yourself and for your lady. Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
That being said it saddens me to have to bring this subject up but I feel I have no choice because your last post scared the crap out of me. It has been mentioned in another post that the lady in question works in a MP which would indicate that she more then likely caught the virus from one of her "clients", and the fact that she has the virus tends to lead me to believe that unless the condom broke then she is willing to engage in bareback sex with her "clients". Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
Even though I don't agree with the practice of engaging in bareback sex with a P4P lady it's not for me to judge anyone who chooses to do so or her for choosing to let it happen. However that was then and this is now and I think it's safe to say that things have changed. Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
Why am I bringing this up? Because in your 4 am conversation with the lady a few days ago you quoted her as saying the following: Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
<TGF:sometimes when i look myself at the mirror,i feel so guilty doing Ý Ý this job.I must face the reality and all the consequences.> Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
The key word in that quote is DOING. Am I right in assuming that she is still working at the MP and is still servicing "clients" even though she knows that she is HIV+? If she is does she at least insist that her "clients" must wear a condom, no exceptions? And if she isn't working at the MP anymore because she failed the STD tests that the MP's make the ladies take on a regular basis then is she now working as a freelancer instead? Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý Ý
I don't mean to be harsh here bro but if there is a lady in LOS right now who is still involved in the P4P biz and is willing to let guys go bareback, even though she knows that she's HIV+, then she's putting a lot of people at risk. Not just the guys she goes with but anyone they go with after that. And since you know about her condition also shouldn't you take some responsibility for making sure that no one else has to go through the same pain you're going through right now? You've got some serious thinking to do bro. Whatever you decide, do the right thing. Peace
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:47 pm on June 14, 2003
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dirty guru
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true......(i dont think she is working in an MP ..TESTS) and it would be best to leave this guy alone for now.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:18 pm on June 14, 2003
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Vegas
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Cold187 pointed out in his last post that she was not in an MP, but she IS a BG.....so no one would be checking on her to see that she does not have sex with ANYONE who is not already aware of her status.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:05 am on June 15, 2003
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