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dids
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UK Punter...
you taking your bucket and spade next trip to start on the pool?
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:44 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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DSBones
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Yet another 'why TGs are hopeless' bitchathon doesn't really serve any purpose. It might be more productive for guys to try to understand why TGs have the attitudes they do, and what accommodations they will themselves have to make if they want to get seriously involved with one.
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From my visit last week, an example of how westerners & Thais view circumstances differently
I was with one girl on Friday night who for some reason seems to think I am incredibly sexy (don't ask me why). She has a sponsor from the US. He met her when she worked in a shopping centre. He thinks she is back at home with her family & has absolutely no idea that she is working in NEP. This girl genuinely likes him & thinks they have a future together. If he found out he would be devastated over such a betrayal of trust (western view). He sends her 10-15k per month. This is for her family she needs another 10k for herself (Thai view). I have told the girl that if he ever finds out she should get him to speak with me so that he can understand that her job is no threat to their relationship. However, if she went to the states to live it would last about 3 yrs max. She is early 20's and beautiful he is mid 30's and not so beautiful. She would be hit on by 20 guys a night in the US & would eventually find someone of her own age for fun etc. A long distance relationship is incredibly difficult to maintain. In my view the girl is doing nothing wrong & I know her heart is in the right place - she is not a rip off merchant.
I am trying to form a relationship with a girl I like in Soi 33 & it is proving immensely frustrating & emotion sapping. We have seen each other every month since last June & we are only a small step further on. Mainly due to her reluctance to discuss how she feels & what she wants. I have to accept this but there will come a time when I say enough is enough. Unfortunately, when she asked about the girl above I told her. She was clearly upset but refused to talk about it. Because of her inability to discuss openly what she feels I am left wondering whether it is all a game to tie me in for long term income ( although she knows I will never sponsor her). When you look at her behaviour from a western perspective it would suggest that she is money oriented and manipulative. I am trying to see things from her point of view but it is difficult when she will not open up & explain her fears or why she behaves in such a way.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 7:33 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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JHolmesJr
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Bones, it's very easy to think your TG is doing nothing wrong by stringing along some poor sucker in the US when you are NOT that poor sucker. But if you were him and found out, you would surely not be so understanding.
Eventually, any relationship is a crapshoot, more so the ones with thai working girls. Unless one learns to speak thai with some proficiency, or preferably to the point where you almost can think in the language, there will always be that void in relationships with our beloved TGs.
Personally I think there isn't much to be gained by trying to understand every facet of these lovely creatures. Mystery is good.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:36 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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Abrak
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Bones.... I have read your post three times and still cant decide...
Are you serious or do you just have an incredibly dry sense of humour?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 9:56 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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DSBones
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JHJ
That's the point I am making. I don't think she is stringing him along. She likes him & cares about him.
I agree that if that person was me (living in the US/Europe) I may not be so understanding, but if you apply a Thai perspective to it rather than a western one then the position is not so glaringly clear cut. By the way, the girl in the example above is not my TG..just someone I know on an occasional basis - my friend resides in Soi 33.
I am trying to apply the Thai perspective to my own situation & it is not easy for me to make the jump. If my current friendship is going to work then I will have to reassess my own western values against those of the Thais. Having lived in Asia for seven years and been to Thailand numerous times I think I have some idea of the way they think but it is certainly not easy.
Learning Thai is definitely a plus although my friend said that she doesn't like me doing so. What does that tell you?
A lot of these girls have low self esteem because they have been rejected & let down by so many people. When you try to restore their trust & confidence by behaving in a gentle & understanding & tolerant manner it may not have the desired effect & you get taken for being weak. I think a lot of guys jump out of potentially good relationships with bar girls too quickly because of this communication problem & the fear of being used. I do not want my friend to stop working the bar until she has decided that she has achieved her goals & she is ready to move on. The difficult part is trying to get her to sensibly identify what she wants in life. Last week I was ready to call it a day, but there was enough positive vibes between us for me to hang around for a bit longer. There were also some very negative traits (bar girl conditioning?) which I have decided to ignore for the time being. They will be addressed in the next few months. I like the girl & it will hurt me if we stop seeing each other but I can only do so much..she has to be prepared to talk frankly about what she wants (even if I don't figure in her vision).
If she is unable or can't do this then reluctantly I will leave, but I will leave knowing that, in truth, we never had much of a relationship anyway.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:07 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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DSBones
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Abrak
I do have a dry sense of humour but, alas, in this case I am serious!
However, I would add that no situation is ever so serious that you can not laugh about it at some point.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:13 pm on Feb. 18, 2004
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TonsilBasher
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Quote Hermanlobo:
Does ones attitude to Thai women change with experience and the amount of times one has visited LOS?
Does the experience become more enjoyable or less when one understands better the Thai women that most farangs get involved with.
Is the so-called 'nice Thai girl' (nothing to do with P4P scene and with a reasonable education) experience any different?
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1. With experience, yes, number of visits to LOS, yes....but I guess it also depends on the TG's attitude towards you. My last visit ranks as the best I've had that I'm hooked to the girl.
2. Again it depends on the girls' attitude towards you. In my experience with regards to LOS since 1993 (mostly the Hat Yai scene), it can get better, but it does have its downs as well.
3. If you look back at my reply as per para 1, you can be lucky, you may not be so lucky. I was with a girl who worked for the Songkhla provincial government in the admin department...she was okay. Another girl was a bit bossy. Went out with two girls who worked at a massage place in Hat Yai, again one was okay, the other wasn't. Nowadays, I'm always calling BKK.
So it comes down to luck too I guess. I'm no Tom Cruise but some girls do make you feel special whether they're in the P4P scene or not.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:25 am on Feb. 19, 2004
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craigoz
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DSBones,
Be real, she doesn't like or care for him anymore that the next guy who pays her 10-15K per month. Sorry to be so blunt, but if he stopped sending her sponsor money and you mentioned his name to her in a few months - she would say "who" or more likely "you mean that english man" (and yes I did pick up the fact that he is a yank)
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:26 am on Feb. 21, 2004
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DSBones
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Craig
You may well be right. I have spoken with many Thai girls about their sponsors & this one just seems to care a bit for this guy. I just don't think the situation is always as clear cut as we (westerners) like to think. We tend to have more difficulty accepting 'fuzzy' situations. Everything is black & white to us, wrong or right, yes & no etc. I don't think Thais necessarily think this way & as one Thai girl office worker said to me "we like to have choices". I think that we tend to commit to one person a little earlier in 'relationships' than Thais & that they are more comfortable with loose ends & unanswered questions - "mai pen rai" etc.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:52 pm on Feb. 21, 2004
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craigoz
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DSBones
The trick is, never to commit to any one woman, for more than 72 hours, maybe a bit longer if the body and moves are fantastic and she is fun to be with.
Mind you I am no expert, having committed many times before, but now when I visit Thailand I have the WILL to walk away (sometimes it takes a few days longer)
Then find that new something special. Great short experiences are better than long average ones, in my humble view as a shallow person who values beauty and personality before routine relationships.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:06 am on Feb. 22, 2004
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