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cyborg
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I agree about communication being critical. I have been in recent contact with my TGF and have urged her to take more English lessons. I have made this a prerequisite for us to move ahead in our relationship. She has not asked for money ever and still is not. If she does ask for it for her English lessons I will point out that I have spent over B100,000 total on two trips to visit her and to get to know her better. If she is serious about being with me she needs to make the lessons happen herself. If nothing else as a show of honest intent.
Any bros have any experience with divorce and the possible protections that could be put in place??
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:32 pm on Feb. 27, 2004
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ColoradoGuy
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Quote: from cyborg on 1:32 am on Feb. 28, 2004
I will point out that I have spent over B100,000 total on two trips to visit her.
Any bros have any experience with divorce and the possible protections that could be put in place??
Telling her this will certainly impress her with how rich you are. 
A good divorce attorney in any large city can probably answer your questions.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:00 pm on Feb. 27, 2004
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CalEden
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Yes, a good way to get her back in the bar! Where she can get on the job English lessons!
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:31 pm on Feb. 27, 2004
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DSBones
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It is also difficult to find one that you can Really communicate with?
__________________________________________
My Thai Friend whilst sobbing on the bed after a brief & frank (not angry) discussion- " I love you too much"
My interpretation - "she loves me too much"
Her interpretation - " that should keep the moaning bastard off my back for a while & nab me a couple of extra thousand baht in the process plus brownie points"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 9:57 pm on Feb. 27, 2004
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Hermanolobo
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Quote: from DSBones on 12:48 am on Feb. 28, 2004
Hermanolobo! What can I say, I agree entirely.
The caveat? Communication is more than just verbal understanding. YES (or a nod of the head) does not mean the same thing in so many countries.
Unfortunately to my cost I have never followed my own view. Stupid or what ?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:45 am on Feb. 28, 2004
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NaughtiusMaximus
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Cyborg, best protection you can put in place is dont get married.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:39 am on Feb. 28, 2004
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Arcadius
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cyborg
If you're serious about taking a BG back home, then I think all you can do is prepare the ground as best you can.
Of the various risks you mention, I suspect #3 is the most probable. Obviously, this is not a move you should even consider until you've convinced yourself that the girl is neither insincere nor a con-artist. If, after taking all reasonable precautions, you still find you've read her all wrong - well, I don't think anyone can help you with this. Either you're good at judging character (and learn to judge Thai character) or you aren't.
But the bars are full of girls who have done their stint in the West and just couldn't hack it. One of my regs lasted eight months in Scandinavia before she couldn't stand it any more. She has no complaints about her ex ('good man, I very sorry'), but she couldn't handle the loneliness and the homesickness. In the end, she'd rather be back on the game in LOS than leading what was once her dream life as a respectable married woman with no financial problems in the West.
Talking to her and others, their main problems seem to be the frankness and coldness of farang manners (rather than the coldness of the climate), the cultural stress on individualism, work and success, and above all the lack of the social support network Thais can't do without. They are vaguely familiar with some of these things from their encounters with farangs in LOS, but of course it's very different when they're surrounded by an alien culture and feel that no-one understands them. Most say that their previous grasp of life in the West (derived almost solely from films and TV) didn't prepare them at all, and once the initial excitement wore off...
What can you do about it? If your consular officials oblige (prepare for no end of grief), you can try getting her over on extended holidays first to test the waters and judge her adaptability. More importantly, if at all possible, you can try to prepare a local support network for her. The growth of Thai restaurants abroad means that there are now plenty of relatively low-status Thais living in the West. Just because they're Thai doesn't mean they'll like her, of course (and they're bound to twig she's an ex-BG), but if you can cultivate a chummy relationship with some local Thais beforehand, they may be more inclined to accept her for your sake.
Anyway, IF she's adaptable, AND you can procure her some local Thai friends, AND you can finance plenty of trips home (maybe even let her live part of the year back in the village), then you must maximise your chances of success. She won't feel quite so stranded. Although very difficult, it must be do-able, because there are loads of Thais living in the West now, including not a few married ex-BGs.
As for yourself, I suppose the best thing you can do is try to increase your understanding of the Thai mentality as well you can. The more you can anticipate and understand her problems, the more you'll be able to help her through the rough times. The whole project will require a LOT of dedication on your part, I think.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:27 pm on Feb. 28, 2004
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canomad
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Cyborg,
I wish you luck. If you have a nice lady try to find all the things that are thai in your area. If you live in CA you are in luck. The Thai wat in Berkeley has a large outdoor market every sunday morning. Hundreds of thais come ther to shop and gather just to speak thai and socialize. Thais are very social by custom and I think the chance of a thai girl becoming americanized is small. The concept of face and other thai cultural items are so strong that I think most thais will always have it in them.
From a couple of my friends the hardest thing about marrying a thai girl is one of their beliefs. Both of them had Thai wives that hung a picture of the King over the headboard of the Bed. Suppose to help fertility. I personally would have a hard time keeping a woody if everytime I was on top I felt like the king was looking at me.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:50 pm on Feb. 28, 2004
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Oaktoad
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sorry guy, but this is horsesh_t....
I live near the Berkeley Wat and have gone there for years.. (how about since before the f_cking city made them remodel)
Every guy I know that marries a Thai girl complains that they become too Americanized..
What the f_ck do you expect.. they move here, they watch TV, etc.. they are going to adapt..
Best way is to leave them in Thailand.. if you do bring them over, then just assume that they will change and be prepared to adapt yourself..
They still will keep many of the old values, but to even begin to think that 3 hours at the Wat on Sunday is going to keep them as they were is so naive that it is almost unbelievable.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:22 pm on Feb. 28, 2004
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Arcadius
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Actually, the main change when you marry a TG (and here I speak from direct personal experience) is that she ceases to be a GF and becomes a wife.
The changes that ensue are not dissimilar to marrying a farang GF. Thai wives are very conscious of their wifely rights and your husbandly duties, and you needn't expect the kind of 'me take care' deference and compliability to last very long in their original form (if you don't believe me, ask any married Thai guy). They become much more self-assertive within the relationship.
If you've taken a girl back to the States, I think it would be easy to confuse this change with her 'Americanisation'. I think the reality is that if you're hoping to use marriage to preserve a GFE-type relationship in perpetuity, you're on a hiding to nothing - and this applies as much if you settle in LOS as if she settles abroad. So you'd better make sure there's more to your relationship than that.
As for their cultural adaptability - well individuals will obviously differ (as will their situations abroad). I do know you meet many upmarket Thais who have been educated in the West, are equipped to handle themselves with confidence in the West and enjoy visiting there, but still say they couldn't live outside LOS permanently. How much more difficult must it be for a farm girl who doesn't have a clue what to expect? At any event, it is a fact that there are many girls in the bars who have tried to adapt and failed. Given the consequences of their failure, it's safe to conclude that the lure of home is very strong. The question in any individual case is whether it will prove overpowering.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:03 am on Feb. 29, 2004
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