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CalEden
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Quote: from Abrak on 4:43 am on Oct. 28, 2005
I dont intend to justify this woman or her family but there are 2 things you have to bear in mind.
(1) Thai girls (especially BGs) are far more family orientated than westerners. The 'buffalo story' is not so much bullshit as asking whether you are prepared to take care of the needs of her extended family. A westerner happily agrees to marry some BG with the intention of making 'her' life happier while the BG imagines that she is marrying him to make 'her family's' life better. From a Thai perspective, if you are not prepared to help the extended family, wtf is the girl doing getting married to you in the first place. The girl knows (and respects the fact) that she is making a sacrifice for the good of her family - it is important that 'farang' understand this too.
Spot on Abrak, this does not apply only to BG's but also any non P4P poor TG, especially from Isarn. This concept most westerners don't fully understand and it's ramifications on the marriage.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:45 pm on Oct. 27, 2005
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ftumch
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Quote: from hypershade on 4:07 am on Oct. 28, 2005
Total disinterest from them. "Whether she is educated or not is your business, not ours",
That, indeed, says it all. And to say that I get flamed for stating that most Thai people are emotionally underdeveloped.
Related to this, a question for the brothers who have been living in Thailand for a long time:
Is this family (and its system of values) the rule, or the exception?
Certainly not unusual mate. Even between Thais. A few years ago I just happened to be visiting my then-girlfriend's family (who were middle class not Isaan or Bar Girl stuff) when the negotiations were taking place to marry off her elder sister to a Thai guy. His parents brought along a family friend to negotiate and met with her parents and an uncle. The sister and boyfriend were not involved or even present. Negotiations concluded we all went out to eat. As far as I am aware nothing more was said about the matter.
At the wedding ceremony a few months later a large amount of cash and gold was handed over. I understand that the cash was handed back to the couple to start them off. The family kept the gold.
So as far as family values go, a dughter is a saleable commodity. I don't think that education has much influence on the value of that commodity. Looks, appearance, demeanour, class certainly do. One only needs to hear Thais comment on how attractive someone is, ignoring everything else about them, to realise that.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:54 pm on Oct. 27, 2005
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DaffyDuck
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Quote: from ftumch on 7:22 am on Oct. 28, 2005
His parents brought along a family friend to negotite and met with her parents and an uncle.
So, there's actually a thriving business for the 'family friend who negotiates'..?
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:42 pm on Oct. 27, 2005
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Abrak
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Quote: from hypershade on 4:07 am on Oct. 28, 2005
Related to this, a question for the brothers who have been living in Thailand for a long time:
Is this family (and its system of values) the rule, or the exception?
It is certainly true of all lower and middle class Thai families. Amongst the rich, family values are very strong amongst the Thai Chinese families but, dont worry, you are unlikely to bump into many of these girls and their families are certainly not going to let their daughter have a farang boyfriend.
Amongst the upperclass Thai families a lot of now become fairly western (with say children educated overseas) and have essentially adopted western 'me generation' values.
The 'family values' are not really a particularly Thai phenomenom - they simply reflect the fact that many families are very poor and expect their children to look after them in their old age. The same sort of values would have existed in the West say 50 years ago.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 9:45 pm on Oct. 27, 2005
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Scuba Sam
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DaffyDuck Posted on 10:10 am on Oct. 28, 2005
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Quote: from ftumch on 7:22 am on Oct. 28, 2005
His parents brought along a family friend to negotite and met with her parents and an uncle.
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So, there's actually a thriving business for the 'family friend who negotiates'..?
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Its normal to have a senior person do the negotiations for you, to give the whole thing its due dignity and importance. Doubtful that the person would be paid 'per se'. More about building favours and merit than cold $$$ payment.
It seems obvious to me that the family here have been well informed about how much money this guy has and can afford. I'd say the daughter has guided their hand but maybe not, even Stickman says that he is an indiscreet loudmouth and "oozes" money. Me thinks his indiscretion about all things money related has cost him dearly. "Som num naa!" indeed.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:23 am on Oct. 28, 2005
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Hermanolobo
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Perhaps 'Stickman' still reads this forum ?
"Excerpts from this column are frequently picked up on by readers of some of the Thailand discussion forums and discussed in those forums at length. The opening piece in last week's column was picked up by at least 4 different discussion forums, many people incredulous at the way the guy could be so silly. It was suggested on one of the forums that the story was either not true, or put together from a bunch of stories that I'd seen, heard about or experienced over the years. This made me chuckle and the person who wrote that showed his ignorance of life in Thailand. There is no need to make things up in this column to spice things up because Thailand is truly a place where you do not know what is going to happen next. Amazing Thailand is a most appropriate catchphrase!"
from Stickman Weekly 23/10/2005-
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:20 am on Nov. 1, 2005
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DewAsmara
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Guys,
This Thais culture, is almost the same in every where in ASIAN country, even back to my culture is the same, my young sister exactly have the same tipical negotiation before she married with her husband. Both of them are Post Graduate and from wealth family. I don't think Thais are money oriented, but this culture like as taking out responsibilities to make sure their daughter married with the wealth secure husband.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:32 pm on Nov. 1, 2005
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thailife
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I think one way to look at it is that if you marry the girl, you are also getting the whole family. I did. All of them.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:23 pm on Nov. 1, 2005
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Hermanolobo
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Quote: from thailife on 1:01 pm on Nov. 2, 2005
I think one way to look at it is that if you marry the girl, you are also getting the whole family. I did. All of them.
For good or ill ?
I agree with Stickman that a lot depends on the social status and background of the girl involved.
Think of your own Nation in 'mirror-image' ?
Would 'You' mix with the same equivalent in your own country as the Thais you meet. I believe we sometimes cannot see the wood for the trees - as it were ?
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:42 am on Nov. 2, 2005
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DaffyDuck
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Quote: from thailife on 1:01 pm on Nov. 2, 2005
I think one way to look at it is that if you marry the girl, you are also getting the whole family. I did. All of them.
Still looking for that elusive orphan stunner.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:11 pm on Nov. 2, 2005
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