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Joe Wood
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The title "Bar-girl-born to lie" is as valid as an alternative title of "Falang or any other visitor to Thailand born to lie".
Absolute crap.
But there is no denying........
Yes, there is a lot of lying done on both sides in the P4P world.
What the visitor, dabbling in the sex-providing industries needs to realise is that ladies in all of its sectors, see their role as being to please the man who chooses to buy their services.
And the point has been made that many will take the idea of having to say things that will please you, to extremes.
After all is said and done, you are the customer. And you must be kept happy. It is part of the role-play which is essential to success.
What is felt by some falang that makes them unhappy, is that the girl in her trying to completely please role ‘lies’ to them, when they have assumed that they have secured a non-P4P relationship with them.
And when the girl continues to try to make the customer happy by saying things that they judge will make him happier, at a time when the falang has adopted the idea that he is no longer a customer, this hurts and leads to the falang feeling that he has been let down, whereas in fact, it is his own fault in beginning too soon to believe that the customer/client - sex-provider relationship has been surrmounted and is no longer in operation.
I am not talking here of the gold-digger ladies with lists of visitors' e-mail addresses, religiously milking them for as much as they are worth every month. They are in a very small minority.
I am not talking about the ladies who continually relate the ten thousand desperate family situations that are crying out for an immediate injection of cash. They also are in the minority.
I’m talking about the vast majority of working girls in bars and parlours here. And what we have to bear in mind is that their number both in Bangkok and Pattaya represent only a very small fraction of the total female population.
ColoradoGuy and seajohn make the excellent observation that in this culture, keeping and saving face is paramount and together equally felt with that, is the complete reluctance to be drawn in to any confrontation at all, be it private or public.
It is just something to be avoided, lest one is thought less of in the eyes of the Buddha. For engaging in confrontation, in this Buddhist-oriented society means seriously losing merit. And this is all pertaining equally so to the upper class politician or doctor and to the rural farm labourer and blow-job employee. They are wrapped in the same culture, familial and societal expectations.
This explains why Thais again and again avoid and back-off and away from confrontation so much until they are able to see no way out of being confronted except to go through it and then people are shocked at the ferocity that emerges.
It is not so much the issue at hand that gives rise to its intensity, but the knowledge that merit will be lost and is hard-gained.
We visitors from the West, make the mistake of thinking that we can sum up a situation here, given time. It is an ordinary assumption. But we do not realize that since this culture, set of beliefs, society and collective mind-set is so extremely different from our own, even after years of experience, we are still looking from the outside, in.
If you consider the visitor from Japan spending some time in London visiting the tourist attractions in and around the city there, and then mixing with the working ladies at night (poor sod), would it be laughable to know that as he flies back to Tokyo to his family and friends, he is under the impression that he knows about English culture and society ?
Just as a guy from China visiting New York or Los Angeles ( for the first or forty-first time ) to see the sights and to sample the night-life of the United States, goes back with the idea that he has a fairly good understanding of what Americans are about, their beliefs, their cultures and traditions, their customs, mind-sets and expectations.
You know that’s f***ing crazy ( if you’ll excuse the Irish vernacular). He hasn’t even begun to learn about them.
So, who knows ?
I’ve been here for years. And I am fortunate to have had those many years of experience. I can honestly say that I have made most if not all of the mistakes that are in the book.
It has cost me
…………….to some small degree
…………….or more than a Ron Burgundy Savings and Pension fund.
Yes, I’m up there with the best of ‘them damned expats’, equally eligible for his Gold Medal of Dishonour, which I will proudly wear, as I will, my Star of Light T-Shirt.
I wouldn’t trade my experience and beauty of life that I have heavily drank and continue to drink here, for the world.
The only difference between a newbie and myself is that he hasn’t yet made the mistakes that I have.
What some people need to consider is that life costs.
And if it doesn’t, then it isn’t worth living.
What I like about this forum, is that there are many guys with open minds, prepared to listen to others and write with the intention of helping. Thanks guys.
Happy New Year everyone !
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:51 am on Dec. 30, 2007
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jj cali
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Joe Wood, I totally agree with every single word you have posted.
Sure the BG's lie, we all lie or lied and some of us have lied more than the BG's but I think "Bar-girl-born to lie" is bit to much.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:02 pm on Jan. 9, 2008
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seajohn
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Quote: from Joe Wood on 5:06 pm on Dec. 30, 2007
I wouldn’t trade my experience and beauty of life that I have heavily drank and continue to drink here, for the world.
The only difference between a newbie and myself is that he hasn’t yet made the mistakes that I have.
What some people need to consider is that life costs.
And if it doesn’t, then it isn’t worth living.
What I like about this forum, is that there are many guys with open minds, prepared to listen to others and write with the intention of helping. Thanks guys.
Wonderfully said. Some of the best inspiring sentences written here.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:52 pm on Jan. 9, 2008
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ThaidUp
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There also seems to be a big culture gap between the typical country girl that you would meet in the bars versus the girls that were raised in BKK proper. Just as you would find vast differences between a girl from Iowa and New York city.
My TGF doesn't lie, is on time, never watches Thai TV, enjoys a mix of world-wide Cuisine and would not be caught dead in a T-shirt and flip-flops except on the beach.
I had to go through about 1000 TG's to find one like that, but they are more readily available if you stick to more metropolitian girls. Not easily found for the visitor on a limited time budget, but readily available for the resident expat.
Having observed the equation from both sides, I of the opinion that the lying punter far exceeds the lying BG.
I would even go out on the limb and stay that the lying customers breaking the hearts of girls who when first starting in this business are just looking to find a man for a better life and leave are the cause of many a TG's becoming the big liars that they are for self preservation.
I could say that I could count on one hand the amount of my friends and associates that do not cheat on their wives/GF's/partners, but in the reality the count is a big fat zero. Not that I care as they say up to you, but it serves only as more amusement that these same people rant on about the lying BG.
What has been said about confrontation is true, but can be changed. I have been able to change most of staff into coming to me with problems instead of delaying them until they exploded. When they learned that either their f*** ups would be treated as a training exercise or effort was focused on fixing the problem and they changed their ways.
It is not so much they want to avoid confrontation as much as no one wants to blamed for anything.
Forums like these tend to be soapbox for guys to vent their war stories, but are heavily weighted to bad news as the good news is boring. Misery loves company.
So as a newbie reader to this forum or vistor to Thailand, I would use it for recommendations for places to drink, sleep, eat and get massages, but as for learning about Thai culture that is best left to do by experience, mistakes and all.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:41 am on Jan. 10, 2008
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China Sailor
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I think that many bar girls assume that the punter is lying just like the punter assumes the bar girl is lying.
When I am having a beer in Nana and get approached by a BG I will be honest with them and say:
"Look, I could hang with you all evening lead you on but in reality I have a committed relationship with my girlfriend and there is no way I will barfine you."
It is interesting to see their reaction to this 'honest punter':
Most of the time they stand there in stunned silence for several minutes before moving on.
Every once in a while the girl will tell me she is glad to see I am and honest man and then will try to convince me she that she would make a better girlfriend.
The classic was the one who replied "Thats OK. Wait until closing, I take you to my place and we go LT yes..."
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:56 am on Jan. 10, 2008
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seajohn
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Sometimes I wonder if the ones who complain the most about bargirls lying, are the ones who would least like them to tell the truth.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:31 am on Jan. 10, 2008
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Oldtimer
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Amen brother. Amen.
Most TG's will tell you that they don't like men who lie. But, they will think nothing about telling an untruth to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
Actually, I have never caught my long time TGF telling a lie to me, but its fun to see how quickley she can lie to a Thai person. Cést la vie.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:17 am on Jan. 10, 2008
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Edge
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Joe and Thaid
Good mail guys, I agree with a lot of it.
Everyone wants something different.
Me I come to BKK for a damn good time, F23kfest!! I am fine with the fantasy world of change my name, treat the girls well, have fune, pay em and move on to the next one. I have the time of my life here.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:35 pm on Jan. 10, 2008
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ItaliaThug
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Bargirls lie to every customer, when they say you are handsome and I find bald, fat men sexy.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:39 am on Jan. 11, 2008
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