| |
Quim
|
Nice one SJ.
Paulo, my only point about which is the meaningful comparison, her salary or yours, is that if, and this is a big if, the request was at least in part a test of your devotion to her, then it makes more sense to ask what kind of sacrifice is it for you to make. And from what you've told us about her, I wouldn't necessarily condescend to assume she has no sense of what you or others in the west earn relative to her. She may have thought, wrongly or rightly (and however encouraged by her friend), that it was a "small thing" for you to do for her.
At least in the U.S., the cost of the engagement ring is traditionally expected to be worth two months of the guy's salary. In other words, the decision to ask her to marry you should be backed up by two months of your hard labor to prove it is no mere whim.
I think these smaller interim requests (or expectations) that we buy them things are ways to test those waters too. And the more money we make, the more we appear to be able to afford, the pricier the gift is expected to be. Or at least, the less we should consider it a burden to express our largess. That's just the way it is, and I agree with Seajohn that TGs and non-TGs are probably more alike on this point than the notion of cultural differences might suggest.
I also think the consensus is that there was a communications break down here. Up to you if you want to repair that break down and move beyond it. 
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:33 am on April 26, 2009
|
|
visitingbkk
|
Quote: from seajohn on 3:35 pm on April 26, 2009
As for the cultural exploitation mentioned before, I think that would be possible were this woman consciously playing on some kind of 1st World guilt or some other weakness. However I don't see an indication of that in this situation. And anyway, it is incorrect to assume that Thai women don't ask Thai men for things, just because most Thai men seem to have less ready cash.
SJ... just a point of clarification... I was not referring to a 1st world guilt exploitation, rather a rather common assumption that western men have plenty of money so why not try to tap into that. We like to tap into the pussy pool and they like to tap into the visiting money pool... that is the cross-cultural exploitation I refer to.
Many TGs I know assume that since we earn western salaries, we must be loaded and free to spend what we want. Most fail to appreciate that if we live in the west, our expenses, etc. are significantly higher as well and our disposable income is not the same as our net salary.
Also, I know TGs will ask thai guys for things...however few I know would ever turn their nose up to something they asked for then push from something 2x more. Yes, some spoiled ones may do so, but most of the women I know are normal, regular lower to middle income (not P4P). I cannot see them doing this to their regular BF.
As mentioned, I have been asked for loans, cash, phones, cameras, etc.... and the answer is always no. If I buy something for someone, that is my prerogative however having them put the pinch on me is outside my rules of engagement.
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 11:31 am on April 26, 2009
|
|
farangman4
|
Paulo,
The Ixus is marketed very heavily here as the cool camera for the sophisticated jet setting woman (images of sophisticated hi so taking photos in Paris, London, etc, Eiffel tower and so on). The only other camera so highly marketed is a waterproof shockproof number, and that is aimed at cheeky teenage boys taking photos of breasts underwater etc.
Frankly, for many young people, a camera is not a thing for taking photos so much as a fashion statement. Especially since she works in a fashion shop - but anyway - this'll be really important to her. You've just gone and bought her an uncool camera. How can she hold her head up high amongst her friends, keeping up the image of being the cool sophisticated girlfriend of a cool sophisticated westerner, when he's bought her the equivalent of Reeboks when all her friends expect her to be wearing Nikes? You're being uncool daddy!
As to how she sees you: really, what do you expect? Most gorgeous young thai girls like hanging with gorgeous young thai boys. She's most likely either with you because she likes the self-image of a cool chick with a stylish, international boyfriend (who is going to be rich: if gorgeous thai girls really liked farangs even when poor, there'd be more hot non-P4P thai girls hanging with middle aged English teachers) - and rich boyfriends buy expensive toys - or she likes you because you buy her stuff.
So act the rich international boyfriend, and buy her stuff. And make sure it is stylish!
(if you're young and gorgeous yourself, and this is an actual love affair, forgive the above. If you are not, and you don't like the idea of being sugar daddy - well, maybe this is a wake up call. Bangkok's a candy store: you don't HAVE to do the rich stylish eurotrash act to get laid or affection; but you certainly have to fulfil someone's dream (be it a new life, love, or 500B for the next bag of yabba).
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:28 pm on April 26, 2009
|
|
koolbreez
|
You only made one mistake, and it's not a cultural thing. You forgot to ask her, or discuss with her what camera she wanted. You simply made a common mistake in any culture. You assumed your choice was the best without giving her a say in the choosing.
To talk about what is wanted is the correct thing to do. It could be argued that YOU were being rude in assuming you knew what was the best choice without any input from her. That is a very common problem in any relationship, not talking, just assuming.
Think again about your reaction to her response, and thing again about who was being rude. You actually owe her an apology. An apology for not asking for her input, just assuming. Think about it.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:05 pm on April 26, 2009
|
|
DrLove
|
I quite agree.
It would even be possible she accepted the camera and put it at the lower shelf never to use it.
Instead of that she confronted you with her personal choice so she would make maximum use of it.
I ask my GF regularly if she likes a certain item and if she wants me to buy it for her. She says constantly 'no'. Quite frustrating.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 11:37 pm on April 26, 2009
|
|
ThaidUp
|
Maybe she doesn't want that 12" strap-on.
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:01 am on April 27, 2009
|
|
|
|
DrLove
|
Creepy how some people know so much about me...
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:59 am on April 27, 2009
|
|
paulo100
|
Farangman
I think you have hit it on the head, spot on, just not the right camera to be seen with! haha.
As to waht I see myself as, well, not a sugardaddy, never needed to buy affection ( that's not the same as saying I never have, just that that was my choice and it suited at the time). But I can see that I am suposed to fit into the international boy friend pigeon hole, certainly.
Koolbreeze / Dr Love
No, I can't accept that. I was not happy with being asked outright for an expensive present and I was not about to email back and say 'Certainly my love, which model would you like me to fork out for?' I was pissed to be asked, never mind openign the door to the most expensive model on the market!
She did apologiswe and said that she was at fault for not being specific. Remember, this was not a face to face conversation, nor was it on the telephone. I just received a text completely out of the blue, 'I want a digital camera, can you buy for me?'
If it had been either of the former, of course I would have asked which model did she like, let's go and look in the shops and choose together etc.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 9:23 am on April 27, 2009
|
|
Broken Leg
|
The Daft One giving advice on relationships despite being 40 odd and never having had a real girlfriend in his life. 
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:33 pm on April 27, 2009
|
|
| |
|
