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Arcadius
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sirtitus
That was the famous GFE (girlfriend experience). Convincing, isn't it? You might want to do a search to read up on this phenomenon.
It is exceedingly unlikely that this girl fell in love with you on a first 3-day encounter, and you have NOTHING to gain by imagining otherwise.
Essentially, she'll have put you on her list of 'possibles'. Possible what? Sponsor? Multiple-returning customer? Potential husband?
How the hell does she know at this stage? However, you must have seemed worthwhile trying to upgrade, and she was prepared to invest a little in you.
There will be many, many guys on her list of potentially interesting customers, both residents and visitors. You are just one more.
What next? If you've given her an e-mail contact, you may in due course get a request for money. You have 2 options:
1) Throw hysterics. "Oh, oh, I thought she loved me, and now I see it was all a cruel hoax just to get my money. Never, never again will I be fooled... etc etc"
2) Play it cool. Just say simply (& politely) that you can't send her any money and then change the subject. Don't go into elaborate explanations. She will get the message and is unlikley to press you. If you enjoyed her company and want to see her again, don't let this put you off.
If you do turn up to see her again, you can expect to be promoted in her list to 'potentially seriously interesting customer.' This is in your interest, as the more value you have for her, the better service you can expect. Just don't get carried away with it all. Be very sceptical about the love thing, and try to remember that it is her job to make you feel happy and flattered.
If I were you, I wouldn't even bother speculating about her real feelings until you know her a helluva lot better than you do now. In the meantime, just enjoy her company and the GFE (not to mention the sex) for what they are.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:29 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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ColoradoGuy
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Quote: from sirtitus on 11:33 am on Jan. 26, 2004
My question is how good at BG's at acting? I consider myself to be a decent judge of character and I didn't feel like I was being deceived or being set up at all. Granted, I am naive concerning BG's and so forth so anything is possible. Maybe I'm being the biggest fool in the world to think she has real feelings for me... or maybe it is real.
Typical story? Any advice?
Arc made some excellent points!
Sirtitus, BGs are very good at acting. The good ones can turn on and off tears at will. Is she one of these? Maybe, usually it depends on how long she was worked in the business, how many customers she has dealt with, how well she has picked up 'good GFE customer service' attributes, etc. However, there is usually no way of telling how long she has worked in the bar, as her answer to that question (and many others) is always what you want to hear, and if the real answer is something she thinks you'll like to hear, then her answer will be the truth.  Most everything that is said until you REALLY get to know the girl is what she thinks you want to hear, that is her job. The one you picked is good at reading you and telling you things you like to hear. As a BG, she sounds like a keeper!
BGs have real feelings for sure. Without a doubt. It's just unlikely she expressed any of them that weren't 'appropriate' in the "provider" role / "customer" role of your GFE. Almost every thing she did and said was geared towards making you feel good and telling you want she thinks you would like to hear.
Being a decent judge of western character doesn't necessarily make you a decent judge of Thai character. Not immediately, anyway. This really doesn't matter in this case though, you haven't seen enough of her character to begin to judge.
You're not a fool in thinking that she has feelings for you, as that is her job in a multi-day BF. It sounds like she did it very well, as you seem to have enjoyed your time with her. You should be happy that you hired a gem, many guys are not so lucky. Next trip, you can repeat with her for just as good of a time (or maybe even better), or just move on to another. Up to you!
You weren't "deceived" or "set-up", you are a satisfied customer. Don't get carried away in the euphoria, though. A week ago, I was having a conversation with another member (he'll remain nameless), and he said something profound. I hope he doesn't mind me quoting him. Part of it is below:
"Their lives go on while we are away and all that matters to them is what happens when you are with them, once we are gone, they may think about us but that doesn’t pay the bills... after all, we are just another XXX baht for them, nothing more, nothing less.... The only thing to remember is that no matter what we think, we aren’t nearly as important in the lives of these girls as we would like to hope. "
You think too much ... thinking too much about this stuff taints the memory of the experience you had.
- CG
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:47 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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SanukCanuck
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Arcadius and CG, you really laid it out very well with no smart-ass comments. These two posts should be required reading. Well said!
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:14 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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Arcadius
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Sirt
I want to endorse everything CG said there. Just one more piece of gratuitous advice, though. If you come back to LOS and want to pursue matters further with this girl, it'll probably be a good idea to get in a few flings with other BGs as well to help you put her behaviour into perspective. Nothing you encounter at home will be any use in this regard.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 3:49 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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sirtitus
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Arcadius and CG,
Thanks for the very honest and straight-forward advice. I'm trying my best not to get carried away here but she really was quite spectacular. It'll be several months at least before I can return so that should be enough time for me to cool down a bit.
Cheers
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:44 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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hzink
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Quote: from sirtitus on 6:44 am on Jan. 27, 2004
Thanks for the very honest and straight-forward advice. I'm trying my best not to get carried away here but she really was quite spectacular.
So are many others. I suggest take his advice about going with a few (2-3) other girls, before making contact, to get perspective - great advice.
Harry
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:44 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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dirty guru
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Ok (sounds like my ex wife) only joking. I should say mate your story is not unusal, infact common. The system works like this. A girl has many (and I mean many customers. Some girls, are very real. And when a nice guy like you comes along. They are reminded of the terrible reality they go back to when you leave. (or are acting)...Think why did you keep her a second night? Are you looking for a girl to call your own? These girls fall in many boxes of thought, and it is wrong for anyone to to say this girl wasnt a lovely girl. But equally, her play might well be, that as a business woman, it was best to forgo the 1000 in barfines, go the airport, pin herself to tears, and soften that heart of yours also. Trouble with alot of us is we have heard it so many times before sometimes we dismiss the real thing. This might be real. I would offer 3 guidelines. One is her age appearence, did she drink much have tatoos? was she into buddha, did she seem happy or just good at listerning? How old are you, how many trips? Are you currently hearing yourself thinking about sponsership?. Mate just enjoy it. You might as well, stop reading on here. The reality might be your both suited and that she does like you alot. Get back there, and approach it like you have naievely. Though its unlikely this is the real thing, magic happens!..But in closing for a girl to do what she did, you must be a nice guy, and I wish you luck. Careful not to be too emotionally involved just yet. And only way to find out is go back.....I did...again again, and again.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:11 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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SanukCanuck
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Dirty, in your estimation what does 'being into Buddha" signify? I'm being serious because I had one who prayed every night, waied when walking past temples and gave money to cripples. No tattoos, no gold. To me they were good signs of a nicer than average girl.
Broke up with her but still think about seeing her again...
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:14 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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hzink
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Quote: from SanukCanuck on 10:14 am on Jan. 27, 2004
Broke up with her but still think about seeing her again...
The question then becomes why did you break up with her?
Harry
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:01 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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Taipan
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This thread reminds me of the old joke (in reverse) about couples expectations of marriage;
Men expect their spouse to stay exactly the same!
Women expect to change their spouse!
BTW I was married to a HK Chinese and had a 6 yr defacto relationship with a Vietnamese. Both did not work out but I have no regrets and have lined up for more. Cultural differences are real but so are individual's personal characteristics. There is good & bad in all races/cultures. The only general statement I would make is, women are genetically designed to attach themselves to men and attempt to mutate the newly acquired host.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:14 pm on Jan. 26, 2004
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