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Noknoi
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On my way to Pattaya, I read Thailand Fever (check it out at (www.thailandfever.com). It is the ultimate book on TG-farang serious relationships. It is written by a farang and TG in English and Thai for him and for her.
I finally figured why my first marriage to a TG failed and what do to right with my LTGF. I have already been applying what I learned and have seen amazing results. The key is for her to read it, if she can. She read the book, called me and told the proposed dowry went from 200,000b to 100,000.
The book really tackles the whole issue of Krang Jai and money and just how radically different romance, love, and relationships are in Thailand.
The book covers to good girls to bad girls and everything in between.
The best part is how the TG writer really makes the point that in LOS her farang may be rich, but in his own land, he is just another billpayer and taxpayer and that living expenses and bills take precedence over Kreng Jai.
Excellent book.
The Natt CDs were great too!!!!!
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:42 am on Jan. 10, 2005
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TJ
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Quote: from Noknoi on 1:36 pm on Jan. 10, 2005
On my way to Pattaya, I read Thailand Fever....
The Natt CDs were great too!!!!!
Did you watch those on the way to Pattaya too? I'm sure the cabbie enjoyed watching you pull the pud.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 2:17 am on Jan. 10, 2005
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Mark Pressure
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Noknoi,
I just read it too (well 20 pages left). Great read. My TGF picked it up and couldn't put it down. She said that the parts describing Thais was spot on. She was amazed how accurate it was.
Highly recommended book.
MP
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:51 am on Feb. 3, 2005
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vox
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I'm glad to hear people are finding that book so useful! I'll forward these comments to my friend (university professor writing under a pen name), who wrote the Thai half of the book, she'll be thrilled...
vox
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:16 am on Feb. 5, 2005
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Finchy
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I have recently read this book too. I did feel that I was, for the most part, aware of how Thais see relationships through reading this and other forums and learning from Thais themselves. It as a little bit cliched in places, and maybe out of date when it says that for "good" Thai girls having sex is akin to a marriage proposal. I think the rise in the Gik phenomenon shows this is becoming less true. However it did emphasise just how important certain things are to Thais and was a very useful read.
I have given it to my missus and I think anyone who is in a Thai-Western relationship should insist that their other half reads it. This is the best bit about the book. It explains to the Thais what westerners think. Noknoi is spot on about the part explaining how westerners appear rich when here on holiday, but that they may have been saving for months to afford it and how western governments can take a third of salaries in tax alone etc. It also explains how westerners seperate love and money, whereas they are interlinked to a Thai. Therefore giving money can make us feel uncomfortable and isnt viewed as a gesture of love.
I did disagree about the meeting the western parents part. Dont lie about your past it said. Be honest and explain if you are/were a prostitute. The western parents will respect you more for it. Hmmmm. Maybe very liberal parents would accept it, but I think most parents would feel uncomfortable and would look down on the girl.
Overall though, required reading for anyone in a Thai-western relationship.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:28 am on Feb. 7, 2005
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Mr Alan
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Quote: from Finchy on 12:22 am on Feb. 7, 2005
I did disagree about the meeting the western parents part. Dont lie about your past it said. Be honest and explain if you are/were a prostitute. The western parents will respect you more for it. Hmmmm. Maybe very liberal parents would accept it, but I think most parents would feel uncomfortable and would look down on the girl.
If the “liberal” females are feminists (fairly likely), then they will never accept it. NEVER.
Everything I have heard about the book is that it is good, but let's face it: Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus. So most people need a book to figure out the opposite sex regardless of what country they are from.
With regard to "westerners separate love and money." Maybe that holds true for men, but not for many women. Women in the West don't say that "diamonds are a girl's best friend" for nothing.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:40 am on Feb. 7, 2005
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Finchy
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Mr Alan
Feminists would be unlikely to blame the woman for becoming a prostitute, especially one from a country such as Thailand, but are more likely to put the blame on Men, for taking advantage of a poor, downtrodden women!! Lets face it, according to feminists, men are to blame for everything and Thailand is a male dominated society (at least when it comes to real political/economic power). Therefore a liberal parent, even if she is a feminist, would be unlikely to condemn the women like a conservative parent might, but would try to open their mind and understand why the woman felt she had to do such a thing - and then blame a male dominated society that keeps women down (their views not mine). A feminist parent would either condemn the son for exploiting the womans position, or celebrate him for helping her "take control of her life" and get out of it.
I agree that men and women think differently about relationships, but with Thai-Western ones there are cultural differences to take into account as well, hence the need for this book.
Finally I agree that many women in the west could be perceived as gold diggers. But many do not want to be "taken care of" as a Thai women would. The book pointed out that in Thailand the man would likely pay for all household expenses and any money earned by the women would most likely be kept by herself to do with as she wanted. This applies to all levels of society. In my experience in UK, bills are shared along the lines of income ie I earn more than you so I pay a greater share. Giving a women in the UK a monthly amount of money would not be looked upon as naam jai, but as an attempt to control the women and keep her down in the relationship, yet it is common and accepted here.
That is the way I interpret things anyway. Maybe others disagree.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:26 am on Feb. 7, 2005
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PolePolisher
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Sound's interesting can someone post a few examples/excerpts so we who have not yet had a chance to read it can better understand the type of wisdom dispensed by this book? (Examples and reviews are allowed under fair use copyright law)
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:13 am on Feb. 16, 2005
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bkkfella
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In the book they refer to Cheap Charlie as "kii niaow" sticky shit.
In Thai kii can mean 'shit", but it also means "characterized by"
So the real meaning is of kii niaow is "characterized by being sticky", with money being the implication.
It seems a glaring error in the book and I wrote to the authors about it. They responded saying it was meant to be a joke. OK Mai Bpen Arai.
I do highly recommend the book, but get your lady to read it twice as she will not likely get all of it in one pass and she needs to try to understand Western ways to understand you.
The best advice I have gotten regarding money and sam nuk bum kum is not in the book and it is that one should give your Thai lady money, but let her be the one who gives and decides how much when the requests come in. Also, try to make most outlays loans that must be paid back before the next uncle can borrow. This way you stay out of it and the family puts pressure on family to live up to the rules.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:13 am on Feb. 17, 2005
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