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k69
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Here is my dilema, I am about to divorce my wife of 7 years and leave her for my TGF who I have known for 6 months and have NOT sent money to. I am someone who is in fact tired of the sceene and want to have kids (with someone other then my wife).
TGF quit her job and is living in her village now which I have confirmed. She has not asked me for money.
After reading all the stories on all the websites about thai girls that have worked in a bar for more then a few weeks you almost have to come to the reasonable conclusion that the majority lie and/or are looking for a mealticket.
I have found a company that will polygraph her in Bangkok next week. If she has been honest with me then I can trust her. But with all the negative information about these girls I see no other way to establish the foundational trust that is necessary for any long term relationship.
Has anyone done this?
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:37 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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texasfarang
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I would ask her for her Hotmail and or Yahoo password. This is better done in person or she'll just delete the other guys stuff out of the account before she gives you the password.
The facial/body language when you ask for this will answer your question.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:46 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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ColoradoGuy
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k69, what if she passes the test, will you subject her to periodic check-ups? Are you going to take the test too, and give her the results?
I am far from an expert on the socialogy of Thai people, but I know one thing... the Thai perspective on truth and the western perspective are quite different. There are many, many posts here addressing this.
Part of the package in a relationship with a Thai is uncertainty (from a western perspective). To think otherwise is to think too much.
In my opinion, a polygraph test is a very bad idea. What you are suggesting will accomplish nothing other than loss or face by you (and probably her).
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:06 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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Mark Pressure
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good one Texas, if she is not hiding anything then she will have nothing to be afraid of. She might not be asking for money because she might already have a sponsor or two.
"lets go check your e-mail right now"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 10:06 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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Brocher
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Quote: from k69 on 2:31 am on Mar. 8, 2005
Here is my dilema, I am about to divorce my wife of 7 years and leave her for my TGF who I have known for 6 months and have NOT sent money to. I am someone who is in fact tired of the sceene and want to have kids (with someone other then my wife).
TGF quit her job and is living in her village now which I have confirmed. She has not asked me for money.
After reading all the stories on all the websites about thai girls that have worked in a bar for more then a few weeks you almost have to come to the reasonable conclusion that the majority lie and/or are looking for a mealticket.
I have found a company that will polygraph her in Bangkok next week. If she has been honest with me then I can trust her. But with all the negative information about these girls I see no other way to establish the foundational trust that is necessary for any long term relationship.
Has anyone done this?
So you distrust her now, hence the lie detector test, right? So what happens if she passes your test then a wee while later you distrust her again?
Why don't you buy the bloody thing and hook her up to it permanently? Sheeesh, what a way to "start" a relationship, good luck mate!
Cheers
Edit in: I must've been typing my post when CG was typin' his. Great minds...
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:12 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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Luke
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Dear Brother K69,
A lie detector test seems way over the top, but then again I'm not standing in your shoes. Have you discussed it with your TGF? There is something demeaning about it, as compared with just taking the time to know her better the organic and natural way, meeting the family, clearing brush off their land, etc. From the Thai perspective a lie detector test could be a serious loss of face, especially if others knew about it. These are just thoughts and not opinions, as I don't know what she's done to precipitate such an action on your part.
However picking up a tip from another brother on the forum, I ordered the book "Thailand Fever" (available from Amazon.com), and found it to be the most helpful thing I've read so far in terms of trying to really understand these girls, especially if you're interested in a serious long term relationship. Get the book. It goes well beyond either facile cynicism or goo-goo eyed credulity. It's written in English and Thai on facing pages, and explains to the respective partners (farang man and Thai girl) how to understand the other's values, identify the critical cultural pitfalls, disconnects and misunderstandings, and where to make the compromises. Well written, and really a cut above anything else I've seen in the genre. And it goes deep into the money question ('meal ticket' syndrome, supporting parents, sick buffalo etc. etc.), and explains it from the Thai perspective, as well as revealing to the TG how and why it puts us farangs off so much when they mix money with love. Bottom line: the behavior we see in our TG's is not as simple as just lying and looking for an easy meal ticket. They are propelled by many levels and shades of indebtedness. Money and love ARE mixed in their culture. They are looking for a kind of support that often offends our Western concepts of romantic love, and our values of independence and equality, but they are also prepared to give this support to the right person, who must understand how their system works and participate in it willingly. For example, her parents WILL be moving in with you, on some level. If you can't make compromises and adjustments around the Thai conceptions of indebtedness, then don't sign up for marriage with a Thai girl (even if you're just 'living together' you're married in their eyes).
Oh, I'm sure there are exceptions to the above, but anyway "Thailand Fever" is a very worthwhile read for anyone who loves TG's enough to harbor the occasional fantasy of chucking it all for the sake of one!
Good luck!
Luke : )
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:19 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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k69
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Thanks for the feedback. I was worried about the loss of face for her. But, you read countless times about these girls having several men on the hook or having less then genuine intentions.
I tend to think she has genuine intentions because we have good fun, I am a few years older then her but go to the gym twice a day and keep fit.
The reason I was thinking of the lie test was becuase this girl told me that she tried to get a visa to visit another guy here in the states just after I met her 6 months ago (visa denied).
Then she told me that she had tried to get a visa with another guy from Germany that got denied about a month ago.
She says that she was just working and wanted to see another place. She states that emphatically. In fact she says she is going to return the 70000 baht to the German guy when he comes back to Thailand and has already told him she is involved with me.
While I have known her for 6 months, I had only become serious with her in the last month (just spent 35 days with her), after all the visa's she has applied for. Now the thing is, am I just another guy on the visa train, she says no, but would anyone take that at face value?
Then I read about how Thai girls dont have Thai men friends, they either have Thai boyfriend or a Thai customer. When I was with her she did get a sms from a Thai guy, and told me that was just her friend. Take that at face value?
I am not about taking her to get a lie detector test after this initial test, but can you blame me for trying to discern how she perceives me given these other events in the recent past?
I have just detalied all the items that makes me suspicious, but there are alot of things that I do know that makes me believe her. But these girls are adept at deception.
I will pick up that book. Thanks alot to everyone for posting your input.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:24 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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ColoradoGuy
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After what you told us about the visa's, me thinks, deep down, you know the answer to your questions.
Quote: from k69 on 10:18 am on Mar. 7, 2005
But these girls are adept at deception.
If you know this, then why are you so determined to find out "the truth" at the expense of severe loss of face for you both (regardless of the results of the test) ? This is far worse than any "truth" you might find out, in my opinion.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:34 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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Baquawn
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You should be your own lie detector machine!
If something feels f***ed up...it probably is. Whether you are the one that is f***ed up, or she is. Either way it is a wrong deal.
Say NEXT!
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 11:34 am on Mar. 7, 2005
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DaffyDuck
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Quote: from k69 on 9:31 pm on Mar. 7, 2005
I have found a company that will polygraph her in Bangkok next week. If she has been honest with me then I can trust her.
Alright, the need to give your intended future wife, and potential mother of your children, a polygraph test is an almost 100% excellent foundation for a long and honest relationship -- NOT!
If you already feel like giving her a polygraph test, it's just gonna go downhill - what you need is better communication, and an understanding of her culture.
What if she passes the polygraph test -- because the people administering it have scammed you, or lied to you? What if you have more little doubts down the road? Would you just as readily give a polygraph test to a woman you dated in the US, or even to your former wife?
Personally, I feel it's a bad idea - if you can ascertain the truth on our own, you have no business considering marriage and offspring.
YMMV.
Dr. von Quack!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:41 pm on Mar. 7, 2005
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