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sirtitus
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I'm playing Devil's Advocate so bare with me...
So, cheating on our wives or girlfriends. How many guys on this forum have wives or girlfriends back in Farangland when they come to LOS for P4P? I don't know but I'm sure that it's more than 50%.
And then, some of us move here and get a Thai wife. And, of course, we're cheating on her too.
Oh, by the way, for the purposes of this discussion, let's define "cheating" as "f***ing women other than your wife or girlfriend". I guess some people may not view P4P as cheating.
So, why do we do it? Better question: Why do we do it so easily and guilt-free? Is it because of the availability of women in Thailand? Is it because LOS has a "mia noi" culture so it's largely accepted (and us farang adopt a "when in Rome" attitude) ? Do the same guys who come to LOS for P4P readily cheat on their wives back in Farangland?
I've never seen a discussion about the morality of cheating on this forum. Seems to me that it's an important question because pretty much all of us are doing it. As well, we all grew up in a Judeo-Christian society where cheating of your wife is a big moral taboo (whether you are Jewish or Christian is irrelevant because those values deeply ingrained in our cultures).
I'm certainly not being judgmental here, guys. I've been with my Angel here in LOS for about 14 months now and I've f***ed over a dozen women in that time... all guilt-free. Never once did I worry about what negative effect it would have on her if she found out. But, back home, I don't think that I'd be doing the same thing as I'm doing here. The question is: why?
And the answer can't be as simple as we're all heartless bastards... because we aren't. I'm not and a lot of the guys I've met from the forum are good guys too.
SirTitus
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:30 pm on April 6, 2005
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Abrak
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Interesting question.
My answer may be a little different from others. Let me explain my situation. I was married to an English wife living in Thailand. I was shagging around a lot, totally guilt free. Eventually I got caught, end of marriage, I am a lot happier now. I don’t have a girl friend, just lots of giks. Rarely do I p4p, maybe 6/7 times a year.
Why cheat guilt free? Well I believe that this is because we don’t believe that our wives will ever catch us (or that if they perhaps vaguely suspect, they will avoid looking too closely). I think this attitude – what they don’t know about, doesn’t matter – is deeply ingrained in most of us. What surprised people when I was caught, was that I was that I was caught at all. Everyone used to say things like ‘you secretly wanted to get caught’ and things like that. I say to people if you play with fire expect to get burnt – it is clear that most people don’t take that attitude.
Why no girlfriend? Well what I learnt from my marriage (apart from the fact that I wasn’t really marriage material) is that you rapidly end up lying to your wife every single day about what you are doing and where you are going. If you get a girlfriend, the same thing starts to happen. ‘What are you doing tonight? Going to dinner. Who with? Clients’ blah blah blah. Now that I am single I have decided to try and maintain some honesty in my relationships. I sometimes have a girlfriend but I try to make it clear that I am f***ing around and aint going to stop. I still seem to end up doing a lot of lying.
Why very little p4p? Well it is simple really. If you are single and have plenty of time on your hands here, there is plenty of time and opportunities to get laid for free by normal TGs. (By free I mean no immediate cash payments – it is certainly no cheaper what with all the dinners and birthdays and such.)
My conclusions. People inherently believe they wont get caught – there is a fair chance you will. Constant lying is quite a strain on a relationship over time. I believe that a lot of guys would be a lot happier if they weren’t married. Oh and people who trade in their clapped out old model for a young new Thai model are nuts. By all means get rid of the old one but think very hard before making the same mistake all over again.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:16 am on April 7, 2005
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Whisper
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I think the temptation to cheat here is just so much higher than back in our homelands.
Almost everywhere you look there are beautiful, friendly ladies, not to mention the P4P ones. There is nothing like this back home and it's very easy to get caught up in it.
I'm sure that most of us, if presented with similar, constant, relentless temptation back home, would eventually cheat. It's just such a smogasbord over here.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:29 am on April 7, 2005
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Bangkoksexydotcom
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I married with a normal Thai Girl some may call her family hi so but I do not know how to determent that.
I do not believe in love or marriage but I did it for the sake of easy VISA and she was ok with this. I do not feel any guilt and she is very ok with me doing what ever I want as long as I do not take the “shit” home as she says.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:42 am on April 7, 2005
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hypershade
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Quote: from Abrak on 12:10 pm on April 7, 2005
(By free I mean no immediate cash payments – it is certainly no cheaper what with all the dinners and birthdays and such.)
Word.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a wife?
The amount of customers.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:11 am on April 7, 2005
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Baskoy
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My rule is the old adage "what you don't know doesn't hurt"
I never barfine or short time a girl and never mess around in my immediate locale (lower Sukhumvit) I restrict my extra marital activities to daytime hours in places such as Star of Light,Wild Country etc.
This way I'm reasonably sure my Mrs or any of her friends will never get wind of my indiscretions.
As for guilt,that doesn't come into it,these liasons mean no more to me than taking a dump.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:33 am on April 7, 2005
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Basher
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I don't really think of it as cheating as such, it is more like 'professional assistance' I am going to wank, I just use someone else to wank into....
I would say, splitting hairs of course that it would be more like cheating if you were after the full GFE.
Nob Basher
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:43 am on April 7, 2005
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LiamOZ
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Gents,
I don't think I am a heartless bastard. I am in a long term marriage in farangland, that has probably seen better years. I provide well, love the family unit, but I think my needs are largely ignored - no violins please.
I would use P4P in farangland only when 'out with the boys' on a booze and bravado night maybe once/twice a year, sometimes not.
I wasn't interested in an affair - too much hassle, and I didn't think fair on my wife. So, I took up some light adventure hobbies to deal with mental and physical frustration etc - then there's always 'Mrs Palmer & her five daughters' - for a while I thought "nothing like the real thing" LOL.
I had travelled for many years for business, but with the most boring bunch of shits in the world - all work, no play.
On my third trip to LOS I ran into a distant business associate who really knew the place. Over that week or so, my mind was blown completely (and other parts) - how could I have been so blind (and so dull).
I love the GFE, which I try to keep in perspective. I love the women, I love the boozing, I love the freedom - am I over the top here?
I know I am only on the periphery of the real Thai culture, but I really like being in LOS. Only downside is the work while I'm here.
Some worries are: Cannot get LOS out of my head when I leave and resultant fantasies interfere with my productivity; & am concerrned that I don't consider western women that attractive any more (even the young, pretty ones).
Now, I don't P4P in farangland, no matter how many months until I return to LOS, because I just can't stand the way the transaction is done.
In LOS I've had some great regular P4P women that I took for days/week. I used to run two per tour, plus some butterfly, but I am experimenting with LLT with my favourite who is a gem I've know for a year and a half; you know, young, fit, pretty, sweet, fun company. I know this is very dangerous ground, but I need to 'go there' for a while.
The good thing about any of these arrangements is that they have been honest and a little contractual from the outset. For instance I could always butterfly - provided I was discreet in the general area, and although I don't really like to share I always acknowledged that the girls had to make a living.
Anyway, I don't want to ditch my wife, I don't feel guilty, and I am not looking to get caught and banned from LOS playground.
Sounds stupid, but I think I am a better person for the experience. Just need to maintain the balance, stay objective, and not let LOS 'do my head in'!
Sorry to ramble on, but it just came out that way.
Cheers Guys,
Liam
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:26 am on April 7, 2005
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Kaymanx
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Good poser, SirTitus, and all very interesting replies. I do find myself agreeing with a lot of things said by Abrak, Whisper and LiamOZ. Sure, like all 'crooks' I don't consider what I am doing is wrong. The clincher : "well, it doesn't hurt anybody, I am not depriving anybody, au contraire I am helping somebody...." Objectively, of course, it is cheating alright. For the simple reason that I know I won't tell my wife about this, I know she won't take it. So I accept it, yes, I am cheating. But I cannot help it. Or, I don't want to fight off this temptation. This is more like a winning streak on the stock exchange. There's lots of money to be made out there and I would be a bloody fool not to take part in the winnings. So what if I don't agree with the ways of the stock market. So what if the purists call it gambling. You play and you win. Sure, you could lose your ass, but if you THINK you are going to win, and you think you have a sure bet, and you do win, well you are satisfied, right? At least the thought won't bother you when you get too old that you never partook of life's beautiful offerings.
On the semantics front, yes, I still argue that this is not cheating. Cheating is when you actually set up home and family with another person, diverting too many resources (including time) away from your family and dividing yourself between two women. I don't do that. P4P is a different thing altogether. It is more like a sport which helps rejuvenate and reinvent you and refreshes you enough to carry on with your own drab life when you return to it from LOS. Just that this is not the way the wife would look at it. Shrug. Let's agree to disagree, okay darling ? You are entitled to your principles, I am entitled to mine, why fight over it, specially when I continue loving you and being dedicated to you ? And because I know you cannot take it I keep it from you. Not acceptable, I know. But let me be guilty. That is a price I am willing to pay for my indulgence.
On another plane, if the wife were understanding and accommodating enough to take this in good humour, it would not have been cheating. So it is cheating just because she won't or can't.
Use condoms, don't take up long term commitments, and keep the wife happy. After all guys must be guys. How can the world go round if we were otherwise ? And how will we put up with all the negatives in our lives were it not for the reassuring thought of paradise ?
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:50 am on April 7, 2005
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Triyclops
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Abrak
"Oh and people who trade in their clapped out old model for a young new Thai model are nuts. By all means get rid of the old one but think very hard before making the same mistake all over again. "
So that's where I went wrong! I trade in my new one for an old model...
The TFG I have now is no spring chicken and I can't really say I Love her in the true sense. But I do know that she takes EXCELLENT care of me.
Not only in bed, but in all aspects of our daily life...
I am very happy, but occasionally, I still get the urge to sample to delights of LOS. Do I feel guilty. f*** No!
In fact I am booked in for a session at the EDEN club on 11th.  . The day she goes home to visit her family for Song Kran...
TC = Totally Content
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:15 am on April 7, 2005
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