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Smegma
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I hope I manage to keep this short. Here is the story of what happened recently -not very dramatic. Actually quite small, but just one of those things where styles and cultures may differ.
I have been eyeing this PR girl and spending some time with her. She is playing too hard to get (sex) and I get pissed. Why? Because I am tired of the good-bad-girls. Those who seem to be bad, but try behaving as if they are really good.
But she manages every time to make a come back. And every time I give her another chance until she pisses me off again. This has been going on for about 1 month.
We have this debate about how we interact with each other? As customer or as friend? Or as a soon to be sponsor. My point is that if I pay, I expect something. And if I am a friend, I should not be paying for her time outside work, as I do not need to pay real friends to go hang out with me.
I suspect she just simply doesn't like me and want to play me for money, like she would others. But on the other hand ... something tells me she wants to be "good" girl.
Well, I get confirmation from the girlfriends of friends and from other PR girls who work with her and who do engage in p4p, that she does not fool around and that she is really "good." Damn! Just what I need!! Why do I always have to find the difficult "good" ones? I want the bad ones!!
To make me more miserable, here we are, the two of us with another bro from this forum and another PR colleague of my girl (this PR does the p4p and she tells me mine does NOT and that she thinks she really likes me). Great! But I still feel like an idiot, because I am not yet doing her and on top of that, I gave her a few thousand Baht so that she could avoid going to work. Yes, I gave her more than the usual 10 drinks. Oh! And the fellow bro. is already doing this other girl. So we all 4 know how things are and I still feel like the idiot in the group for choosing to chase the difficult good one.
We go and had a good dinner, and then we all go to one of the good upscale currently fashionable clubs where the local hi-so go.
After some time my friend and his girl leave. We stay some more time and as I am thinking of where to go... she doesn't seem to be much in the mood for anything so I think of inviting her home to watch some TV or listen to some music and have a couple of drinks before she goes home (yes, I am resigned to it not happening - at least not today).
As we get going -it is past 11:30pm, she asks me if I want to go to her place of work. Hell no! Why would I want to go? She insists and I keep saying no. She says then she has to go. Why!? Because she got a call and there is a customer waiting to have some drinks with her. Damn! Why can't they tell him she is not working today? Here is where all the confusion and when not mastering either one's language makes things tricky. After much going back and forth, it is decided that she will go and I will not. But I am royally pissed -specially since I gave her all this money.
I dropped her at her place of work, and went home. But then I sent a couple of messages to my mamasan, explaining what happened. And I get a reply from her saying that she will take care of things for me. Thinking that it is about to rain hell in that place, I call the mamasan and ask her if she wants me to go to help her straighten things out with the other mamasan -because by then I was believing from my girls conversations by phone with her while we were together that she was asking her to drop me and show up for work. She says yes.
I show up there and to my surprise her mamasan is one I also know since long ago and also is best friend of my mamasan. ÝI am having a drink while all parties get convened and then the dance gets started. Now, guys you know how conflicting matters get discussed here, you all know how the simplest things can be over dramatized. Thanks God by now I have learned how to keep cool and discuss things with Thais without showing anger. My point was basically that I feel I have been played and that after giving her money so that she can avoid not showing up to work she drops me like a dirty piece of ... (whatever). Why would I pay her money to no go to work if I know she has to go back to work? All three go back and forth talking fast Thai among them. My mamasan mostly quiet, just there to defend my interests and make sure I come out satisfied. Oh by the way, I find out that my girl had not told her mamasan I had given her money when they spoke earlier during the night. At the end -after about 20 minutes of going back and forth, while I keep drinking and smiling to all my other friends there- the girl who by now has this sad look of a scolded puppy moves close to me and discreetly puts in my hand all the money I gave her. I take it and give her back some -only the amount that would correspond to 10 drinks, and I split the rest between the other two mamasans. My point being that I didn't go back to for the money, but because what she did is not the way to treat a customer, or a friend or whatever it is.
The mamas move away and the girl is next to me and now her eyes get all watery and tears start to drop down her chicks slowly. Now she is looking like an angel and she tells me that she thought all along that it was ok with me for her to go back -that she even asked me to go to the place and that she told me that there was this customer who had asked for her who was going to have drinks (thus implying she had not hidden anything from me). Because she had told me that last month she didn't have many drinks and needed to make up this month for lost income. She said I had let her go. By now she is saying that she really likes me and that she is sorry -but not the sorry that hopes for an apology, but the sorry that regrets things have to end this way. Now I start to have doubts and start to feel like the powerful guy with the money being cold hearted giving a hard time to a good girl who apparently likes me and was just in need of more work. Well, she leaves with tears going down her cheeks.
I stay and sit to talk in the bar with the two mamasans after the place closes. I asked them if today I was wrong or right. That it is not the money and that if I was wrong, I have no problem going back and giving her the extra money she now had lost. They both tell me I am right (at least I know my mama won't lie as many times in the past she has given me a hard time when she thought I was doing something wrong).
Interestingly enough, the mamas congratulated me for how well I handed myself and how cool I was during the conflict. They said I have changed a lot since I first came 2 years ago. When I would get upset like any bad farang.  They say that now I am much better because now I get upset like a Thai. And then it hit me; could the girl have misinterpreted me (not knowing me long enough) and thought that the way I was reacting to she going back to work was not consistent with what farangs show when they are upset, and thus she thought I was not.
Anyway, I am today feeling now a bit guilty and thinking of perhaps thinking of going back at some time one of these days and give the girl back the money she ended up handing back. Maybe it is romantic in my part... I don't have hopes of anything with her now. But maybe she can see that it is not all the time about money in the short term, and next time she encounters another farang guy like this one she doesn't make the same mistake.
Thoughts from anyone who made it all the way down here?
P.S.: Damn! This was long. I didn't manage to keep it short. This is why I don't write FRs. I would go on and on and on.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:21 am on June 13, 2003
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haam sup
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Wow, Smeg! ÝPretty intense.
I will have to read it again, and think some before I comment, but I am impressed - truly.
Wow.
haam sup
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 2:32 am on June 13, 2003
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Kryptonite
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You f_ckING SAP! 
Playing all this "big shot punter" shit, adn it turns out you are just as soft as the rest of us when it comes to a pretty face. Kind of humbles you doesn't it?
All in all, you did handle yourself very well. It has taken me 3 years to get to this point where I am pissed, but still show a smile on my face.
Nice to hear that Zmegma is human.
YOU f_ckING SAP LMAO!
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:33 am on June 13, 2003
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Smegma
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BTW, I edited the post and added a very important NOT that I noticed I missed. I put it back now in BOLD
That I am human and soft? So you say guys. But she is probably thinking that I am a bastard who went back to fight the poor powerless girl. Specially since she saw last night how well the rest of the staff treat me. We were having our exchange in a place where staff had to walk by and every minute there were staff passing by giving me hugs etc.
Now, she must hate my guts for going back and making trouble for her. I could also have done it the other way: not ever talk to her but let tyhe episode from yesterday pass.
But somehow I thought she should not get away with it (this was when I was thinking she was a calculative bitch).
Now I am thinking she still likes money too much, but somehow she didn't see how bad what she was doing could look and how bad it could make me feel.
Krypto what is SAP?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 2:43 am on June 13, 2003
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Kryptonite
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A sap is a softy, a person that falls for crying, kind of like gullable but in a good way. Nothing derogatory at all
I think you did the right thing. If you just ignored her she might of lost "face" with the other girls.
I advise a goodwill drink is in order for her, just to let her know you still ike her as a friend, and that you are not angry at her.
Stop and count to 10 whenever you get that tingly fealing in your stomache for this chick man. Remember is playing the game, don't become a statistic. You know better
It takes a hell of a man to do what you did with a smile and no cursing and yelling. I respect that.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 2:51 am on June 13, 2003
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rami
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Mamasan's and girl gave you exactly what you needed to get: feeling or your rightness and sorry from the girl side...what can I say-they got the money,you got the good feeling.Everybody happy now?
Don't try to change BG's,or rules of the game.Save your anger(even if it was only inside) and your money for another occasion.It's too many good farangs in this country that contribute to circle of lie and exploitation.
I saw enough of this shit,good for you that this girl shows her real face in this early stage of relationship(or whatever you call it).
You and all learned another lesson about "good" BG..more to come.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:05 am on June 13, 2003
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Smegma
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Quote: from Kryptonite on 2:51 pm on June 13, 2003
It takes a hell of a man to do what you did with a smile and no cursing and yelling. I respect that.
Well, not that I didn't feel like doing it. But now that I live her, I want to play by the local customs and be able to come ahead and win them at their own game. As now I know they think less of us if we do otherwise.
Goodwill drink? I am not sure. My line of thought is that she should learn that what she did is wrong. Or at least that she should be better at selecting who to take for an idiot. Because the way she did it, she can loose "good" ____ (customer, friend, anything). She basically lost me.
I move on, because I am not falling for her money trap. At least not one so stupid. She wants money? She will then have to deliver or play a better game.
Was she really confused and thinking I had no problem with she going back to work. Well, she made me doubt at the end. Because she knew that by my attitude and from what I told her and from my look and coolness, that I was saying "sayonara, you bombed baby". That is why her sorry seemed sincere, as she was saying not sorry to get an apology but more sorry as "had i known it would end this way, I would not have done it - but i know now is too late". Cuz she lost a good ATM prospect. Or was that one last try at another acting performance?
To make things more interesting. I have never engaged PRs there. So staff there were already surprised I was willing to spend time with her.
RAMI,
This was not a go-go bar. More what we call in the forum a G-Club. Most of us here differentiate betwen what we call BGs and what we call PRs. And, the girl didn't get all she could have. And the mamas got what they were not expecting. The mamas actually told me at the end I was right .. and I went to have a late dinner with them. I do not change the rules in that place. I just do not follow many of them. I am allowed to get away with it. maybe due to my past interactions there.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:12 am on June 13, 2003
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Ballsburstin
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sad smeg, just sad .... 
Seriously, though, my TGF never pulled any of this kind of stuff, and she was a full on GG when I met her. So you've droppped yourself into the middle of a real head scratcher ...
- Balls
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:32 am on June 13, 2003
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rami
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Smegma,I'm on your side believe me,BUT when 3 Thais dealing with falang,falang will feel good in the end of the things,but falang will pay this way or another.
About differences between PR's or BG's,do me a favour..all of them kinda hooker,some smarter so they upgrade themselves.It's only 3 kind of girls in LOS: hi so that dont need your money(and dont need you in most of the cases),poor but proud, that need your money but will not take it,all the rest in this way or another-GALI(working girls).
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:38 am on June 13, 2003
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FarangBha
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Smegma -
Just wanted to comment on the idea of 'actiing like the locals'; a thing a lot of us strive for in these situations, but I find (usually by looking at others attempting the same) that one or more parties ends up in some state of confusion...
Unless the parties involved know you well already, they are usually suprised to see the farang be cool, calm and collected in the local manner when a heated situation arises... and ultimately the grievance isn't adequately expressed (mai pen rai) ... but I suppose thats better than throwing a Western tantrum and the final consensus being that you're just another FARANG BHA!!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:39 am on June 13, 2003
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