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Smegma
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50 things we wish women knew…
We aren’t mind readers!
We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
Smoking is the biggest turn off.
It never hurts to work out.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
If were not getting love we’ll start looking… (haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
You shouldn’t be flattered or grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.
Giving head is never a bad idea.
We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
You’re probably not as funny as you think.
Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
For every fart that slips out when you are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
The red light means the video camera is off.
A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
V
ideo games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.
Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:25 am on Mar. 16, 2004
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bkkz
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How to give a great hand job with both hands. (Smegs, where's that manual you posted recently?)
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 7:31 am on Mar. 16, 2004
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fastmover
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We? Us? Your a kinky boy Smegma...why not just be brave and say 'I', 'me'.
Do you need the comfort of your bros' before you can 'exhale' here guy?
Hey man, you got some serious issues here..........
Like.......
"We masturbate, usually more when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact."
We? A fact? Hey if your wanking more when your getting laid regular, its time for YOU to find a new partner.....
I don't know if this is original material, one of your cut and paste jobs or a 50/50 job...whatever, but you stuck your name to it.
So, it appears you have some misunderstandings, misgivings,
and even some anger about women.
Hey that's some of what most men have at some time.
But drop the 'we' thing. Stand tall...be an 'I' kind of guy.
You might find women more tolerable.
ps Yes I know, you will say I am nit-picking
and I didn't read anything correctly 
Hey, slow day at the word factory....
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 8:28 pm on Mar. 16, 2004
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Smegma
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Quote: from fastmover on 9:28 am on Mar. 17, 2004
We? Us? Your a kinky boy Smegma...why not just be brave and say 'I', 'me'.
Do you need the comfort of your bros' before you can 'exhale' here guy?
.....
But drop the 'we' thing. Stand tall...be an 'I' kind of guy.
You might find women more tolerable.
Hey, slow day at the word factory....
So you bored and looking for an excuse to start a fight and some controversy? I wish you luck.
You will find that most of US will not fall for the trap. WE already know where you are coming from.
Go fish for a fight somewhere else. I suggest YOU start with something smarter when you address US next. Maybe then WE may reply. 
P.S. Who are trying to impress? Some newbies? Has to be the newbies because the old farts know us (you and WE) already.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:02 am on Mar. 17, 2004
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fastmover
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Huh? What suddenly your off limits for me to post?
Okay superstar.
"looking for an excuse to start a fight and some controversy?"
Nope. Bye.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:30 am on Mar. 17, 2004
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Smegma
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Either I am getting stupidier by the day or you getting more smart -because I am finding it difficultier to understand you -or to get your jokes.
Why bye? Where are you going?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:37 am on Mar. 17, 2004
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Deleted Member
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My no 1:
Don't interupt me, even with requests for sex, when I am watching Apollo 13.
If you want a romantic meal with me afterwords, fine - prepare it.
If you want sex with me after the Splashdown, fine - be ready in bed
but don't distract me when I am watching this movie.
This is a guys' movie about exploration, daring, crisis, guys fixing the problem, wives praying for homecomming,
guys doing what they have to do, women praying they will succeed,
guys in danger, taking time out to tell their women that they love them (the women) but will they please get off the line as they (the guys) have more important things to do - like surviving,
guys building a breathing kit from that using nothing else but this - women praying for safe home comming,
guys holding their breath in case they might die, guys taking the steering wheel aiming for the earth,as there is no proper map, women praying for safe home comming,
guys planning to be home by Friday whilst they try to figure out how to get through the atmosphere at 100000 Degrees, so will the women pls prepare the Sunday roast,
guys checking oyt the external damage whilst trying to figure out how the parachute will open if they lack electricity,
Guys splashing down and get on to the deck of an aircraft carrier whilst the women tell their Kids that Daddy is OK ( OK ?!- he is a cool, smart, tenacious hero - f_cking brilliant!)
And by the way - sex with their wives on Sunday Morning, roast on Sunbday afternoon.
Don't interupt me when I am watching this movie.......
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:52 pm on Mar. 17, 2004
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Smegma
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Moderator3, do not forget to lock or delete this thread. No relation to Thailand or Bangkok (it is about women). Nevermind that BK himself replied to it.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:52 am on May 11, 2004
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