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thaiprivateeye
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Yurune - agree 100% , which is the only reason I got into this line of work in the first place, - like most Guys based in bangkok, you sooner or later have a buddy ask you to keep an eye on someone for them ... - what I was pointing out, it is often easier/cheaper to have the buddy do the checking for you, rather than a P.I. - but some guys either dont have friends here full time, or want to keep things discreet - for my part, the whole thing is about not seeing Buddies, or clients, get shafted, - although also I can appreciate in a country with no social benefits, that at times, certain TG's want to take whatever they can, whenever they can - T I T.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:14 am on Mar. 1, 2003
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Arcadius
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"in the end you still don't sit back and watch a mate get shafted"
Well, yes... but IS Robert's mate getting shafted? Or is he shafting himself?
Even assuming the BG genuinely likes him, how can she reasonably be expected to do more than mark him down as a 'possible'? And given her profession, how can she reasonably be expected to think of sex - per se - as a big deal?
I certainly don't share the view that guys who fall for BGs are idiots. What I do think is the height of foolishness is thinking that because YOU are in love with her, SHE is obliged to bet her life on your current (obviously infatuated) good intentions. Moreover, she's expected to transform herself overnight into something out of Little House on the Prairie.
The guy has fallen for a girl who lives thousands of miles away and who sees him twice a year. Moreover, he knows that she works as a prostitute (I use the term purely as a job description without any pejorative overtones). The problem is not that she still goes LT with other men - she is just doing her job and keeping her options open, quite sensibly imho. The problem lies in him thinking that this matters enormously and/or precludes his relationship with her developing.
I think Haam Sup is quite right about this. I don't think you can reasonably be expected to do more for a friend in this situation than try to explain some of the facts of life, help him (so far as you are able) to see things from a BG's pov, and point him towards the wealth of resources on this subject - not least this forum.
OK, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Some guys just don't have the flexibility of mind to make a go out of a relationship with any TG, let alone cope with the many additional difficulties of loving a Thai BG from afar. If that's the case, it's 100% certain that the thing is doomed from the start.
I don't see why Robert, or anyone, should have to play piggy-in-the-middle, and I think it's perfectly reasonable to refuse this role. If his chum wants her checked out, let him go to tpe or another professional. After all, the guy's not a child. It's his relationship, and he needs to take full responsibility for it.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 11:04 am on Mar. 1, 2003
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Yurune
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The usual long winded over analysis....the fact is....if a mate (and I mean someone from back home or of long standing not so dough boy you've just met in a bar) is not aware of the facts...you tell him or you are no friend at all....pretty simple really
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:39 pm on Mar. 1, 2003
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Arcadius
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Well we can all play the simplicity game, Y.
Spying on then telling tales about people makes you a sneak.
Easy, ain't it?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:12 pm on Mar. 1, 2003
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thaiprivateeye
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Was posted here before somewhere, but a very good read on the FLB website, [ banner on my homepage] think under Girls, then cultural differences, the Mike/Noi story, what each was individually expecting from the relationship ....
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:26 am on Mar. 2, 2003
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BoomARang
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TPE - Good point about the Mike/Noi story. It is an excelent example of where too many make mistakes as well as showing the two different perspectives.
Personally I think "Mike" should have had his ass kicked up to somewhere around his ears but that is not much different than my actually being glad when the guy in "Private Dancer" received a lead education.
Also, I agree with Arcadius, as much as I hate agreeing with the guy, and even worse, having to agree with Haam Sup! ;)
Were I the guy's friend, I would try to help him understand the situation from the woman's perspective and the different possibilities and THEN have him contact TPE.
The thing is, even if she is 100% telling the truth, he will be in no better shape/position if he judges everything by Western standards/ideals than if she were lying her ass off. If he does understand the background and possible motivations, then he can easily make up his own mind as to what to do.
But at the same time, (don't you just love it how I flip-flop back and forth?  ) it IS good to know what the exact situation is but at the same time, even if she is found to not be telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, does it mean that it is the end for him and her? It doesn't have to.
As another member here who used TPE's services said, he found out she wasn't 100% truthful but he decided he was going to try to work it out anyway. But "armed" with what TPE told him, he was at least able to show her that the bullshit just wasn't cutting it.
Maybe "she" isn't different than all the rest but does that directly equate to it being impossible for her to be a good wife and mother? That is the question that even TPE can't answer.
That having been said, TPE seems to have suggestions for his clients as to how to find the answer to the question in a safer manner than blind trust.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:59 am on Mar. 2, 2003
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Arcadius
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Boomers
Much and all as I detest agreeing with you too, I think this is the central point:
"The thing is, even if she is 100% telling the truth, he will be in no better shape/position if he judges everything by Western standards/ideals than if she were lying her ass off."
The Mike/Noi story should be compulsory reading for any guy in this situation. Gets the culture-chasm thing over more powerfully than anything else I've read, certainly.
Both tpe and BK have made excellent posts on this forum explaining what a guy has to do if he is to have ANY chance of pulling off a long-term relationship with a BG. This stuff could be retailed by a friend, but I think it would actually be a lot more credible coming from a professional. I mean a pro could MAKE him believe it.
Essentially, the guy has to do 3 things:
1) Decide whether he is REALLY serious about this, or just wants a comforting fantasy to keep him sane in the windswept deserts of farangland.
2) Decide whether he can stomach the BG's current 'infidelity' and (in all probability) future relapses. He needs to know that he's embarked on a long & stony road.
3) Decide just how much commitment he's prepared to put into this very uncertain prospect. For sure, visiting her twice a year and chucking her a bit of money every month is not going to cut it.
In short, he has some VERY hard thinking to do. Imho, the best service a friend can render is to make sure he understands this. Reporting on whether the BG is passing a couple of unrealistic (and frankly naive) tests is not really going to help him very much.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:31 am on Mar. 2, 2003
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thaiprivateeye
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well summed up Arcadius, - although years ago it used to surprise me, I now realise, that in many case's, the Guy dosent really want to know the truth ! - and lets face it, no point in shattering some great memory/fantasy, unless of course you are sponsering her to a fairly large amount, and want to be sure she is in fact at home, studying, awaiting the marriage Visa, and not out spending your funds at Gullivers, playing pool with BK, Pinga,Bandit,Packripper and, heaven forbid, even the deadly Mr Joe !!
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:58 am on Mar. 3, 2003
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ringthebells
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does your girl play??
sticker already on the handdryer at gullivers...
rtb.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:02 am on Mar. 3, 2003
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