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texasfarang
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To evaluate candidates for mongering in LOS I thought a preliminary test to qulaify wing-man candidates was the first requirement. 70% is required for a passing grade.
Most BTF Members can easily pass this quiz….some Newbies who think they are ready for LOS might want to carefully ponder the questions and the scenarios.
Select the best possible answer from the following :
1. When approached by a cute TG taking a survey on the street corner
a.Politely answer all questions because you feel like an ambassador for your country while traveling over seas.
b.Attentively listen to all her questions while you pick your nose and eat the results of the dig.
c.Answer the questions in Klingon or your own version of that language.
d.Politely ask if she is good to go for 500 baht.
2. When passing a group Ladyboys you should….
a.Stop and pose for a picture.
b.Avoid all eye contact and continuously check your wallet in 20 sec intervals for the next 200 meters.
c.Walk fast and stare at their feet.
d.Politely ask if anyone is good to go for 500 baht.
3. When selecting a girl to BF at a GG Bar….
a.Buy the 1st girl to sit with you 5 ladydrinks and ask if she will be the mother of your children for 5,000 baht.
b.Ask for the Cheap Charlie special and attempt to insert your finger into the love tunnel of the 1st girl to sit with you.
c.Pick the prettitest face….introduce yourself…..tell her your life story for the next 30 minutes….then offer her 3,000 baht for the night.
d.Ask Mamasan who is the wildest and youngest sex freak in the bar….if that girl maintains initial eye contact with you for longer than 8.5 seconds barfine immediately. Otherwise walk to the next bar.
4. When attempting to get a BJ in a GG Bar
a.Find a dark corner …..drop your pants and announce that the “Smoking Lamp is Lit”.
b.Ask Mamasan for a smoker and procede to the most secluded spot in the bar.
c.Ring the bell and announce to the bar that you need “Hot Monkey Love 911”.
d.Ask Mamasan if any of the girls are familiar with C Everett Koops rules for safe sex.
5. When choosing a Hotel you should……
a.Select something that is girl friendly with remote entrance for minimal “Walk of Shame” experience.
b.Select a clean room that is quiet and has pretty girls working the front desk.
c.Select a Hotel where you can pull a girl off the street by yelling and pointing from any window in the room.
d.Select a Hotel where you can drag your bargirl or group of bargirls through a luncheon of Japanese business women.
6. When ordering a Drink in a GG Bar
a.Ask for Nam Yen and complain about the price.
b.Order a bottle of Thai Whiskey and write your name on the label.
c.Ask for a Cola with no ice.
d.Ask for some imaginary mixed drink that does not exist while you check out the talent.
7. When buying a Lady’s Drink in a GG Bar
a.You agree to buy a drink for the 1st girl who sits with you and all her friends.
b.Agree to buy her a drink providing it is only whiskey or tequila shots.
c.Agree to buy her a drink providing it is only cola….and she will hold your hand and sing the theme song from “Giligan’s Island”.
d.Agree to buy her a drink providing shell tells you all of the sex details from her last barfine.
8. When soliciting a Free Lancer you should……
a.Smile and ask her where she goes to school.
b.Stare at her breast and ask if she has ever had a baby.
c.Explain that you are an Alien life form who has only 24 hours to plant your demon seed in as many women as possible.
d.Ask “Where You Go”……and grin like a stupid idiot.
9. When choosing a Restaurant you should……
a.Select something crowded with locals that serves authentic Thai food.
b.Select an American chain restaurant where you are familiar with the menu.
c.Order a Red Bull with VoBKa at a Beer Bar and call it Lunch.
d.Challenge a TG to a bug eating contest.
10. When choosing a Girl in a MP….
a.Select the girl with nice makeup and a cute face.
b.Select the girl who is waving at you like a freaked out monkey.
c.Ask Papasan for the girl with the biggest tits that is not lactating.
d.Ask Papasan for the one he would pull if it would be the last sex he would ever have in his life.
11. When attempting to pickup a Girl in a Disco
a.Act cool…..hang out by the bar……wait all night for the perfect girl.
b.Dance like a mad fool to every song with any girl. Offer 3,000 baht to the 1st one with glitter in her hair.
c.Walk up to the prettiest girl in the Disco and tell her about your “Star Wars Action Figure Collection”.
d.Wait 30 minutes and go back to your Hotel room and masturbate.
12. Pulling a Girl in a Shopping Mall
a.Ask a young pretty girl for directions to the “Hershey Highway of Love”.
b.Ask a young pretty girl for directions to the food court and gently touch her upper arm.
c.Walk over to a group of Thai women and ask if anyone is “Good to Go for 500 Baht”.
d.Sit in the food court and stare at the young girls butts all afternoon.
13. When Negotiating Sex with a GG Girl you should…….
a.Ask to see a pricelist with the daily specials.
b.Say nothing and slip 2,000 baht in her purse in the morning.
c.Offer to pay by the hour or until her legs go numb.
d.Tell her you work in Korat and know the General of the RTAF.
14. Discovering the TBG you pulled is a Katoey you should…..
a.Scream and lock yourself in the bathroom until she leaves.
b.Demand your barfine back and threaten to post on the internet that everyone in the bar tested HIV positive.
c.Put on a second condom and ride her doggie style like your life depended on it.
d.Curl up in a corner of the room and cry like a baby.
15.If you were to develop very deep, passionate, and romantic feelings for a TBG you should.
a.Ask to spend the weekend with her and her parents in their village.
b.Call your local Embassy and ask how to obtain a fiancé visa.
c.Agree that for 20,000 baht per month she will go back to her village and wait for you.
d.Pay a cab driver 500 baht to kick you in the balls until you pass out from the pain.
16.When approached by a street vendor selling fake Rolex watches.
a.Inform him that it is illegal to sell fake merchandise in the Kingdom as well as illegal to bring it into your country.
b.Ask him for the “Cheap Charlie Price” if you buy two.
c.Turn the other way and ignore his presence.
d.Examine one of the watches carefully and closely as if you were handling a rare artifact…..then attempt to set the time by spinning the knob backwards as fast as you can until he grabs it from you.
17.When your TBG ask you to buy her something she sees in the store.
a.Buy it attmepting to appease her wishes hoping it will lead to better sex.
b.Just hand her some money and tell her there’s more where that came from.
c.Ignore her and act like you did’nt understand.
d.Tell her that the ATM is over it’s daily limit and closed for the night
18.When approached by a drunk farang who is bullying everyone in the bar.
a.Tuck your tail between your legs and head for nearest exit.
b.Hide behind the nearest TBG.
c.Buy him a beer and listen to his problems.
d.Buy him a draft beer and toss in a lime from the urinal.
19.If a TBG insist on watching TV instead of attending to your sexual needs.
a.Sit back and wait until she tires of watching.
b.Let her know you are mad and pretend that you are trying to sleep.
c.Begin to masturbate in front of her.
d.Select a sexual position that allows her to watch TV while you pound away on her for the next 30-45 minutes.
20.If a TBG refuses to leave after sex and begs to spend the night with you.
a.Accept the offer because she obviously likes you and great sex will await you in the morning.
b.Agree to let her stay and sleep with you….after all your valuables are hidden under the mattress.
c.Agree to let her stay provided she will let you use her butt for a pillow.
d.Throw her the bedspread and tell her to use the bathtub.
Bonus Question:
21.If your TG insist on having sex with the lights OFF in the room you should…
a.Hold her and make her feel secure in your arms.
b.Tell her you are scared of the dark and begin making yelping noises.
c.Turn the lights on and tell her that her face will be buried in a pillow so it will seem dark to her.
d.Explain to her that when the lights are off that means her back door is open for business.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:05 pm on July 8, 2004
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LocalYokul
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interesting quiz
edit : ok, i'll stick to the ones I thought were comical or I answered honestly
1. When approached by a cute TG taking a survey on the street corner
d.Politely ask if she is good to go for 500 baht.
3. When selecting a girl to BF at a GG Bar….
d.Ask Mamasan who is the wildest and youngest sex freak in the bar….if that girl maintains initial eye contact with you for longer than 8.5 seconds barfine immediately. Otherwise walk to the next bar.
4. When attempting to get a BJ in a GG Bar
b.Ask Mamasan for a smoker and procede to the most secluded spot in the bar.
5. When choosing a Hotel you should……
d.Select a Hotel where you can drag your bargirl or group of bargirls through a luncheon of Japanese business women.
7. When buying a Lady’s Drink in a GG Bar
d.Agree to buy her a drink providing shell tells you all of the sex details from her last barfine.
8. When soliciting a Free Lancer you should……
d.Ask “Where You Go”……and grin like a stupid idiot.
9. When choosing a Restaurant you should……
c.Order a Red Bull with VoBKa at a Beer Bar and call it Lunch.
10. When choosing a Girl in a MP….
b.Select the girl who is waving at you like a freaked out monkey.
13. When Negotiating Sex with a GG Girl you should…….
b.Say nothing and slip 2,000 baht in her purse in the morning.
or
c.Offer to pay by the hour or until her legs go numb.
15.If you were to develop very deep, passionate, and romantic feelings for a TBG you should.
d.Pay a cab driver 500 baht to kick you in the balls until you pass out from the pain.
17.When your TBG ask you to buy her something she sees in the store.
a.Buy it attempting to appease her wishes hoping it will lead to better sex.
18.When approached by a drunk farang who is bullying everyone in the bar.
d.Buy him a draft beer and toss in a lime from the urinal.
19.If a TBG insist on watching TV instead of attending to your sexual needs.
d.Select a sexual position that allows her to watch TV while you pound away on her for the next 30-45 minutes.
20.If a TBG refuses to leave after sex and begs to spend the night with you.
a.Accept the offer because she obviously likes you and great sex will await you in the morning.
Bonus Question:
21.If your TG insist on having sex with the lights OFF in the room you should…
d.Explain to her that when the lights are off that means her back door is open for business.
ok, that was still most of them...
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:04 pm on July 8, 2004
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kev29ie
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Not that it matters to you.
Its not strange that you describe yourself as a pirate. A guest speaker I once entertained claimed that there are two groups of people, builders and pirates. Builders build, they create, they design, they invent, the take on, they expand, they believe...........they live.....they are.
Pirates plunder, they consume, they pilage, they burn, they steal.......they die...........they destory.
So how is your little uni chick?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 7:46 pm on July 8, 2004
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LocalYokul
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yeah, plundering, sounds like good fun...
if you want to learn more about it you can check my FR at AngelWitch under Bars
and thanks for asking, she's fine as of yesterday afternoon.
edit :
pilaging is all good fun too, as long as no one gets hurt, physically.
you'd expect me to call myself a Pussy Builder ??
That's Mother Nature's job, and so far she's doing damn well
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:58 pm on July 8, 2004
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samthedog
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texasfarang:
ROTFLOL,
I think I have tried most of these by now, and am still working on the principle that a lesson learned by a process of elimination is the one best remembered!
LY
Have you ever heard of the word "rhetorical".
Have you ever thought of the subtlety of
"paralepsis"
I think you shagging probably has all the finness of your postings......you just keep banging away regardless.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:27 pm on July 8, 2004
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fastmover
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LY, are you so self-possessed that you really think we give a sh_t about your damn answers?
Don't just edit your posts, edit yourself.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:36 pm on July 8, 2004
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MrA
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Great quiz, texasfarang, thanks for posting.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:50 pm on July 8, 2004
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LocalYokul
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oh I see, it was ok for ALL you flaming trolls to post your answers to the Debauchery Test not long ago, but i'm not allowed.
whatever...
i did it anyway. Bored before leaving for work this morning...
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 9:24 pm on July 8, 2004
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manowar
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LY,
You are truly amazing. Answering question #14 takes a lot of balls..... ( hahaha, yeah, there will be 4 balls banging each other if the TBG is actually a katoey.........OMG ! Not a pretty sight )
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:51 pm on July 8, 2004
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