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expatchuck
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Posted by Sheik14
Posted on 6:20 pm on Oct. 31, 2009
A woman was sitting in her living room chatting with her
neighbor. She looked out of her window and saw her husband coming home with flowers in his hand.
"Oh no", said the woman. "Here comes my husband with flowers. Now I'll have to spend all night on my back with my feet up in the air".
"What's the matter?" asks the neighbor. "Don't you have a vase in the house?"
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:25 am on Oct. 31, 2009
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thewiz
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The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he
noticed a young blonde in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her
breasts almost falling out. He simply couldn't concentrate on his message
to the flock, so he concluded the sermon hastily, dismissed the service and
asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?” the Reverend
demanded in his sternest lecturing tone when they were alone.
"Why Reverend," the young blonde replied, "All of my boyfriends tell me
that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my
breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head
between her tits.
After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any
angels singing!"
"Of course not, Reverend." she giggled, "You're not plugged in yet."
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 4:08 am on Nov. 2, 2009
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thewiz
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A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him he hears:
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP.
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:44 am on Nov. 2, 2009
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thewiz
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When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson..
Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors,
draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at
Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!
...Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart;
Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 4:45 am on Nov. 2, 2009
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thewiz
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God Said, Adam I Want you to do Something for me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
!
God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the
hill......."
Adam said, "What is a hill?"
So, God Explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"
Adam said, "What's a cave?"
!
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a
Woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him, too.
Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under his breath),
"Geez....."
And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as
well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into
the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it
now?"
And Adam said
"What's a headache?"
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:32 am on Nov. 3, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door.
When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew
how to have sex.
Not amused, she slammed the door.
Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question.
Again, she slammed the door and screamed, "Get the hell away!"
Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would
stay home the following day just in case.
Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid
with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked
again if she knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"
The man replied, "Great! Give some to your husband the next time
you see him, and tell him to keep the hell away from my wife!"
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:54 am on Nov. 3, 2009
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thewiz
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Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie are all walking together one day...
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Aussie says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Aussie sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigarette, smiles and says,
'Fill it with water.'
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:57 am on Nov. 3, 2009
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thewiz
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A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
' Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says,
'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:43 am on Nov. 6, 2009
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shark68
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An old one but good one 
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.
When I was 16, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.
BTW I am turning 42 next year 
Shark68
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:28 am on Nov. 6, 2009
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shark68
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A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar.
He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the alligator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I'll remove my genitals unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The alligator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The alligator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.
'I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle.'
Could have happened in Thailand...
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:29 am on Nov. 6, 2009
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