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james bond
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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange
brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average penis and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:03 pm on Sep. 21, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a
magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a
guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:55 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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expatchuck
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Some good ones of late. Keep them coming.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:09 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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james bond
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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
for a number of years when he came home one day to confess
to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an
urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife
suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about
it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He
vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His
wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I
told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis
into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." Yes, I
did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No,
Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
Oh...she got fired too."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 4:16 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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Child: "Hello?"
Daddy: "Hi honey. It's Daddy. Is Mommy nearby?"
Child: "No Daddy. Mommy's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." Daddy: "Honey, you don't have an Uncle Paul." Child: "Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy."
Brief Pause. Daddy: "Okay, honey. I want you to put the phone down on the table and run upstairs. Knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
Child: "Okay Daddy, just a minute." Moments later the little girl comes back to the phone. Child: "I did it, Daddy."
Daddy: "What happened, honey?" Child: "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and began running and screaming. She tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
Daddy: "Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?" Child: "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on, too. Then he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
Daddy: "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?"
Child: No its 486-4731 Wrong Number Sir
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:25 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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A wealthy woman was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
Oh my GOD!' screamed the woman. 'That's disgraceful!...... Why is he doing that?'
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."
'Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay" said the woman.
As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient lying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! Now tell me how that can be justified?"
The doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, better health plan."
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:29 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill.
Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed
a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and
passionate love.
In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was
bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or
get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and stopped just
inches from them.
Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the truck.
He looked down at the two, still on the road, and yelled, "What the
hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn?
You could have been killed!"
Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied
and not too concerned and said, "Look, I was coming, she was coming,
and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:34 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes,
father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."
Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes) : "Ahh... Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:41 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming. The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night." She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing. "That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself. Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a sound, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream." "You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
"Now why were you laughing?" she asked. "You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered. "True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
"Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?" "Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:49 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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thewiz
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Excellent replies (miss universe contest)
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman.........................
(Applause! Applause!)
SPAIN
Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro (Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening....
(Applause! Applause!)
PHILIPPINES
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth......
(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
SAUDI ARABIA
Question: Ms Saudi Arabia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Saudi: Well, I can say that male organs in Saudi are like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Saudi: Because they like to enter through the back door.....
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
MALAYSIA
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton car.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft...........................
(Applause! Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! )
SINGAPORE
Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ in Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:01 am on Sep. 22, 2009
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