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thewiz
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.
MY NAME IS ALICE, AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST
APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK
THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY
TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED KAU HIGH
SCHOOL.
'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A TROJAN,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1979. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT
UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-B1TCH
ASKED,
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:29 pm on July 15, 2010
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thewiz
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Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club.One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.When the male dancer came over to us,my friend licked the $10 billand stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill.She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over,and licks the $50 bill..I'm worried about the way things are going,but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now every-one's attentionis focused on me, and the guy is egging me on?to try to top the $50.. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do?
The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks,and left!!!
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:52 pm on July 16, 2010
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thewiz
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Railroad tracks.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification/ procedure/ process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... andCURRENT Horses Asses in Washington are controlling everything else.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:31 am on July 19, 2010
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thewiz
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CONFUCIUS SAY: IF YOU WANT A PRETTY NURSE, YOU GOT TO BE PATIENT
CONFUCIUS SAY: TO MEET GIRL IN PARK IS GOOD, BUT TO PARK MEAT IN GIRL IS BETTER
CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WITH TOOL IN WOMAN’S MOUTH NOT NECESSARILY DENTIST
CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WHO RUN THROUGH TURNSTILE BACKWARD GOING TO BANGKOK
CONFUCIUS SAY: BETTER TO BE PISSED OFF THAN PISSED ON
CONFUCIUS SAY: WOMAN WHO GO TO MAN’S APARTMENT FOR SNACK, GET TITBIT
CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WHO KEEP FEET ON GROUND HAVE TROUBLE PUTTING ON PANTS
CONFUCIUS SAY: WOMAN WHO PUT HUSBAND IN DOGHOUSE SOON FIND HIM IN CAT HOUSE
CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WHO LEAP OFF CLIFF JUMP TO CONCLUSION
CONFUCIUS SAY: WOMAN WHO GO CAMPING MUST BEWARE OF EVIL INTENT
CONFUCIUS SAY: GIRL WHO SIT ON JUDGE’S LAP GET HONORABLE DISCHARGE
CONFUCIUS SAY: MAN WITH HAND IN POCKET FEEL COCKY ALL DAY LONG
CONFUCIUS SAY: IT TAKE MANY NAIL TO BUILD CRIB, ONE SCREW TO FILL IT
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:25 pm on July 19, 2010
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thewiz
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A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
Tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a
Gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red
Tomatoes. She asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so
Red?"
The gentleman responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
Garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
Well, the woman was so impressed she decided to try doing the same thing to
Her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she
Exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.
One day the same gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way,
How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"
”No” she replied, “but my cucumbers are enormous!"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:41 pm on July 20, 2010
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thewiz
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The four Goldberg Brothers
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.
On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:47 pm on July 20, 2010
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thewiz
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Maharishi Vatsyayan has stated in his magnum opus "Kamasutra" that....Sex is….
"Duty", if done with your Wife
"Art", if done with your Lover
"Education", if done with a Virgin
"Business Transaction", if done with a Prostitute
"Social Work", if done with a Divorcee
"Charity", if done with a Widow &
"Meditative Trance", if done by yourself
So Stop feeling guilty, which ever it may be.......... JUST DO IT !
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:24 pm on July 21, 2010
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expatchuck
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A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them." demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:49 pm on July 24, 2010
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expatchuck
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A married couple goes to a marriage counselor to work out some problems.
The counselor sits them on the couch and says "For starters, let’s talk about what you both have in common."
The husband says "Well for starters, neither of us suck dicks."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:59 am on Aug. 7, 2010
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