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aussieguy130
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The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said, “Things are great and I've never felt better.
I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
So what do you think about that Doc?”
The doctor thought for a minute and then began to tell a story,
“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go
hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking
cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across
a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized
he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the
magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it
at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went
'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver
fell over dead.”
“Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that
somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”
The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:50 pm on July 29, 2011
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expatchuck
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This one is appropriate for the times...
Having already downed a few power drinks, a good looking blonde in a bar turns around, faces the guy sitting near her, looks him straight in the eye and says...
"Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front seat, back seat, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on; it doesn't matter to me. I just love it!"
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm in Congress too. What state are you from?"
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:27 am on July 30, 2011
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BobFiveHead
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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
A magician was walking down the street. Then he turned into a grocery store.
What should you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe him off, apologize and run.
...and orders a drink.
A tachyon particle walks into a bar...
Why do women wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, "I think not." And he vanished.
And in conclusion some anti-jokes:
What did the homeless man get for christmas? Frostbite...
What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.
Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs.
Why didn't anyone help her up? She didn't have any friends.
An Irishman, a Jew, and a Japanese woman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 2:53 pm on July 31, 2011
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expatchuck
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One Smart Marine
A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.
One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview.
At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."
The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out also.
The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.
"Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one f***in’ ear."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:30 pm on Aug. 3, 2011
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atl
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A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living!"
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:13 pm on Aug. 6, 2011
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atl
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Whoever said, "money doesn't grow on trees!" obviously never sold marijuana!
atl
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:10 pm on Aug. 7, 2011
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expatchuck
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Golfers Are Wonderful People, yes?
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Miickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
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A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses with a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
******************************************
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but when we pray in my church, we keep our head down."
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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a five."
******************************************
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
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The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:31 pm on Aug. 9, 2011
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atl
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you!" Then the drunk man yells, "TITTIES!!!"
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:28 am on Aug. 21, 2011
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