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Joe Wood
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I am trying to get back to Suzie Wong’s. But I don't think that I will make it.
But some good advice is posted on this thread about getting around. Here, in Bangkok, there’s many a slip betwixt Nana and labia, not to mention FLs. And if you walk all the way from Soi 4 to Cowboy, you wont miss any of them.
Making your way through the traffic congestion by motor-cycle taxi is a good piece of advice and is always a good method to get at least the remnants of your body that survive the trip to your desired destination. However, I am rather fond of my knee-caps and intact spinal cord.
Taxis on the other hand are a different matter. You will get there in relative safety, so long as the driver isn’t drunk or eyeing your BG through the driving mirror and uttering low-whispered comments about her virtue.
If the unfortunate man happens to have an inability to turn on the meter at the commencement of your journey, get out quickly and leave the door open. Another taxi will always come along within a minute or two. It is just a question of teaching the appropriate lesson and if everyone assisted in this way, even if it is pissing down with rain or you are dying to get back for the f*** of a life-time, it would soon be learned.
Remember that the Highway Code doesn't apply here in Bangkok. You may think that you are crossing two lanes of traffic but in actual fact you may very well be crossing eight, all going in alternate directions.
Don't step too gingerly back onto the pavement ( side-walk to my colonial friends ) to avoid the on-coming bus, as you may very well be aligning your arse to the path of some vagrant motor-cyclist who happens to have chosen that particular night to try to break the off-road speed record.
However, once ensconced in Soi Cowboy, never be tempted to go into Fanny’s, Moonshine Joint, Jungle Jim’s or Toy Bar. From my limited experience, four hands down your trousers, two pairs of succulent breasts and nipples in your face and the fingers of both hands embedded in unfamiliar female genitalia, to some degree prevent you from soaking in the ambience of this unique back-water.
If your wish, in the tropical heat of Thailand, is to conserve bodily fluids, avoid After School altogether. It is a draining experience, to say the least.
So, there you are, being pulling every which way to all manner of Go-Go bars by young tourist guides in various states of uniform. What you must remember is that the choice is yours. Don’t be persuaded to deviate from your objective by an overly-coaxing tourist guide’s hand. They have a job to do. So do you. If Suzie Wong’s is your choice of venue, be strong. But, having arrived, beware.
Anyone who is even vaguely acquainted with sampling the night-life of Bangkok will tell you the same as those of us who regularly sink ourselves into the peachy fleshy bits. It is all about restraint.
It’s not easy, being surrounded by the tinsel and the glamour, the gyrating naked loins and smooth thighs, the thumping music that gets the teresterone pumping, the quivering, jiggling buttocks and the pouting lips. But don’t look up any further, for in the instant that you glimpse the lustrous dark eyes and the flashing white smiles, your lust will conquer all resolve. And don’t be tempted to look down at the hands that stroke and massage you. An equal fate awaits you.
How many poor men have succumbed and bar-fined the desire, only to be met on the way out by a goddess coming in ?
And how many others have indulged in a little exchange at a short-time hotel, paid the price and then later that night, met a colleague on the street going home arm in arm with a girl of your dreams who he has managed to pick up at a fraction of the cost from Soi 71 or On Nut. No, my brother. Do not be led astray.
Either, aim to strike lucky elsewhere, or take the plunge into that tourist hell of Patpong.
Go straight to the Star of Light. Nowhere else. There, you will find heaven.
Having been a good atheist all my life, I now have the faith. I am a true believer in the goddesses who inhabit the establishment. And, I have found, along the way, that I am also a lucky bastard.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:20 pm on Dec. 23, 2006
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