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canomad
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Bad Blow at the Kangaroo
On a quest to inventory all the bj bars in Bangkok I took a break from my normal haunt of Lolitas and went over to patpong. I took sky train to patpong and walked around the area. All the vendors had their booths up and there was a large crowd of people walking through the area. Mostly tourist with their wives and children shopping the vendors. I spot the Kangaroo bar. It is a small doorway maybe 1 meter wide. It was a Tuesday night, and I check my watch and it is 10:30 exactly. I step in the doorway and walk up a flight of stair to the second floor. At the top of the stairs I turn right take one step and I walk into the middle of a bar area. Sitting at the bar is around 25- 30 girls. Age seems to range from 21 to maybe 35. Girls seem to range from a 4 to maybe a 6. If there was a better looker anywhere she was hidden behind other girls. There are not any other punters in the bar when I arrive.
A mamason is sitting on a chair right next to the stairs. Mamason turns to me and says “This blowjob bar you want blowjob?”
I say, “I know that’s why I came here.”
I move towards the bar and the sea of girls opens to leave one seat vacant. I sit down and order a beer. They do not have corona so I order a Heineken. There is a cute girl next to me. She looks about 150 centimeters tall about 21 maybe a 5 or 6 for beauty. Maybe 39 or 40 kilo’s. She says “you want blowjob” I say “sure, lets go.” She turns to the bartender talks in Thai and is given her packets of sanitary wipes.
She asks, “You want big room (pointing to a room at one end of the bar about 3 meters by 3 meters with 3 lounge chairs each facing each other) or small room.” I am thinking the big room cause I don’t give a rip if others watch but I want to survey the entire facilities so I ask, “Where is small room?” She says, “ we go small room, better air con there” (Now this is a good joke so pay attention)
She turns and walks, with me in tow, to a small room at the other end of the bar from the “Big room”. She pulls aside a curtain and we walk in. The room is like 1 meter by 1 meter in size with a lounge chair in it. I ask for a towel for the chair and she reaches behind the curtains pulls a towel off of a stack of towels and gives it to me. I put the towel on the chair seat, take off my shoes, drop trousers and sit back in the chair with my beer. I am already starting to sweat. The temperature outside is like 27 degrees. Inside the bar at the top of the stairs it was probably 30. But in this room (with the better air con) it is like 34 degrees.
The girl gets down on her knees and opens a package of sanitary wipes. She takes the first and gives Johnny and the twins a thorough cleaning. She waits about a minute and then washes J&TT a second time. Be now I am rock hard and I take a drink of beer. She starts to suck me. Very good tongue action, gives my dick a good licking gives the twins attention then back to my dick. Her tongue is magnificent. Then she starts sucking in earnest.
Life is good. This goes on for a couple of minutes when suddenly on the wall facing the bar someone staring pounding with their fist. My girl stops and looks up. A woman outside starts telling something in Thai. My girl yells back. Pauses for a second and then looks at me “ why you take so long”
I say, “That is just me”
She looks confused goes back to sucking my dick for another 2 minutes. She stops, says “my mouth sore you too big”
I am thinking sounds like workman’s compensation go file a claim with your boss. But I say, “This is Blowjob bar you no give blowjob?”
She goes back to sucking for another minute. Then stops and says, “You want f_ck me?”
Now normally I can still think even when there is no blood in the Head on my shoulders but as the girl pointed out tonight I have a BIG DICK. So my big head is exceptionally light. I look over at her tiny body. Pause for a second and say “sure.”
She says 1000 baht.
I say “Okay”
She strips. Her hair hangs down to the middle of her back. Her skin is the color of Honey. Perfectly smooth, not a stretch mark anywhere. I reach out and turn her around. Each cheek of her ass is the size of my hand. I run my Hands over her ass, taunt hard little globes of perfection. Maybe this wasn’t a bad decision. I put on a condom I brought with me. (Crown skinless skin) She turns faces me a sits on my cock. As her pussy slide over my dick I remember what it was like to be 20 again. f_cking a young smooth pussy. She is very tight, incredibly warm and the walls of her c_nt are incredible. But she has no ides how to f_ck. She sits and wiggles back and forth but nowhere near what a great f_ck she could be. I decide I’ll get up and f_ck her missionary when…. Bam, Bam, Bam. Pounding on the wall again. Then Thai woman yelling. My girl stops and then yells back through the curtain. They yell back and forth for maybe 20 seconds. The my girl says “it okay f_ck me.”
I go at it missionary style but it is hard with her on the chair and the room so small. I turn her over and start to f_ck her doggie style. She stops and says, “You have condom?”
I pull out and she turns around and checks that the condom is still on. (These skinless skins are great) I go back to f_cking her. At this point I am sweating buckets. It was hot a hell just sitting there but now that I am doing the work I am really sweating. We go at it for another couple minutes when BAM, BAM, BAM that bitch is pounding on the wall again. More screaming in Thai. My girl stops and yells back. S
She then turns to me and says “you take to long. You pay barfine take me long time 2000 baht?”
I ask, “ 2000 baht includes barfine?”
She says, “No you pay barfine and 2000 baht”
I stop and think, I walked in expecting to pay 600 baht for a blowjob. I am now up to 1000 baht and although her pussy is incredible (Like in the top 3 girls I have every f_cked out of 3 or 4 hundred.) the service overall is crappy all this you take too long sh_t. What will long time be 90 minutes? Time to cut my losses. So I say no. Put on my pants and give the girl 1000 baht. As I walk out of the room I see three punters and three girls all standing in a queue waiting for the small room. Must be for the great air con.
I walk out to the bar. My bar chit is 80 Baht and I pay it. I start to walk down the stairs and mamason looks at me and says, “you have good time?”
I tell her “no all the pounding and screaming was bad”
She smiles at me says, “ Good, you come back again?”
I just shake my head and walk down the stairs. I walk out and get about 50 meters down the street when a young man runs after me
Mister “ you come back to blowjob bar!”
I stop and turn around and look.
“Mister you no pay! You come back to blowjob bar!”
I turn and follow him back to kangaroo bar.
The girl is at the bottom of the stairs. “You no pay for room, 300 baht!”
I was in a really flip mood but figure I am not going to get into an argument with a whore and f_cking ruin my night. So I give her the 300 baht. I turn and walk away. I look at my watch it is 10:50 Total elapsed time from walking in to walking out and back down the street 20 minutes. Kangaroo bars definition of too long somewhere around 5 minutes.
So my rating for the Kangaroo
Quantity of girls A,
Quality of girls B-,
Skill of girls: B
Attitude:F---
Cost: C
Facilities: D
Management:F
Overall experience F
Did I come? NO
Will I come again? I just might have to see if this place is a f_cking awful as it seemed. How the hell can they stay in business with crappy service like that?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:36 pm on Aug. 23, 2004
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ThaidUp
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Good FR canomad. Sometimes you have to wade through a sea of crap to find a gem. If you decide to go back, just BF the girl and take her to a ST room in Patpong
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:18 am on Aug. 24, 2004
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DrLove
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Yeah, great reading. My respect for writing such a lengthy report for a 20 minute experience. You're sure you didn't forget a few seconds....
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:30 am on Aug. 24, 2004
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LocalYokul
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man, that place SUCKs, 555
You got Screwed, errr.. yeah, you did, just not to completion.
I think I would have just started thrusting madly on that last bunch of disturbances, and unloaded on the gal's back.
If you spoke some Thai you might have been able to quelch the situation.
"bPai Hai Pun, Yah Ma Yoong !!"
go away, don't come bother us !!
I recommend Star of Light next time you're in PatPong
I understand a few of the gals in SOL do Anal too. 
here's BK's list of BJ bars 
the Lolitas in the list is of course Alley Cats location and the old location on Asoke corner is history (demolished).
I walked right by Pinochio Bar last week, damn read that list too late...
and don't take the piss DL, the report reminded me of my own. Good detail.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:35 am on Aug. 24, 2004
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yodsaker
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A great report and funny although too bad its at your expense.
But an excellent consumer report. I for one will avoid the place.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:44 pm on Aug. 24, 2004
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jack attack
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Ca Nomad,
Great and tragic report rolled into one. I really have an aversion to Patpong these days and your report continues to support this.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:03 am on Aug. 25, 2004
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TonsilBasher
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Man, sorry it happened to you. Stick to Lolitas.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:20 am on Aug. 25, 2004
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Mark Pressure
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no wonder the place was empty of punters when you got there....
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:25 am on Aug. 25, 2004
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TJ
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Quote: from canomad on 8:36 pm on Aug. 23, 2004
I stop and think, I walked in expecting to pay 600 baht for a blowjob.
When the RT ended up there in May, I was quoted 800bht. Did they tell you 600, or were you thinking of Lolitas?
Quote: from canomad on 8:36 pm on Aug. 23, 2004
The girl is at the bottom of the stairs. “You no pay for room, 300 baht!”
I ended up in that room - she never asked for money for it. She did, however, demand a tip after working up a sweat. Ended up being a 1000 baht for the bj, with tip. Pricey.
I didn't notice it at the time, but it sounds like the sweat was probably more due to the lousy aircon than to her effort. I tipped her anyway. Decent performance, got me off.
I definitely prefer Lolitas. Better environment.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:23 am on Aug. 25, 2004
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cheapcharlie
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same same, good report, place to stay clear of...
Have been coming to BKK for years never been to Patpong once just walked through one time.
mmm even though some of em are not the bext lookers best stick to lolitas or soi postoffice, is the lady boy still at the pump station she (he ) only gave me a coke
n ice nuffing else it was morning I was sober as a judge.
i swear it
CC.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:33 am on Aug. 25, 2004
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