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expatchuck
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Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, 'Female.'
Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?
Customer says, 'White.'
Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:50 am on Nov. 7, 2009
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thewiz
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Radio Interview
Lady Reporter to farmer: 'Good evening, sir. I am here to collect
information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?'
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: 'Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?'
Reporter (obviously embarrassed) : 'Well, sir, that's a new piece of
information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?'
Farmer: 'And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?'
Reporter: 'Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?'
Farmer: 'I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?'
* The program was never aired...*
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 7:46 pm on Nov. 7, 2009
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expatchuck
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A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.'
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks?
'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.'
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.
'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.'
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:39 am on Nov. 10, 2009
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thewiz
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There were these twins, Joe and John.
Joe was the owner of an old boat.
As it happened, John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe.
Mistaking him for John, she said, "I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking that she referring to his boat said, "Heck no, Ma'am! In fact, I'm glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 7:09 pm on Nov. 10, 2009
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thewiz
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Only in America
......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America.......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:12 pm on Nov. 10, 2009
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thewiz
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An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down,
then back up at the man
and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:13 pm on Nov. 10, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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The other day, while Mike was seeing his shrink, the doctor asked
him what he looked for in a woman.
Mike replied, "Big tits."
"No, I meant for a serious relationship."
Mike said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you
want to spend the rest of your life with?"
"Spend the rest of my life with one woman?" said Mike "No woman's
tits are that big."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:43 am on Nov. 13, 2009
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expatchuck
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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly; he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here...'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now.'
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:52 pm on Nov. 17, 2009
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expatchuck
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After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness", says the driver, " Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth", says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today".
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell?", says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pope floors it, accelerating the limo to 100 mph.
"please slow down, Your Holiness!", pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license--and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief", he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 100mph.
"So bust him," says the Chief
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important" said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "all the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important, " said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"
"Bigger!", said the cop.
"A senator?" asked the chief.
"Bigger".
"The President?" asked the chief in wonderment.
"Bigger".
"Well", said the Chief, "Who is it?"
"I think it's God!" whispered the cop.
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"
"Because His chauffeur is the Pope!"
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:05 am on Nov. 18, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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Out of a bunch of millions of sperms, there was this one sperm named cosasa.
cosasa was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and even swimming. And when his friends asked him why was he doing these things he said "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be that one when the time comes". His friends would just laugh at him and pass.
The time for them to go out came and cosasa outran all of them (I'm talking millions of sperms) to the exit, as a matter of fact, there was a huge gap between cosasa and the rest.
All of a sudden the other guys saw cosasa running back as fast as they have ever saw him. As he passed them to an opposite direction they asked, "cosasa why are you running back, didn't you say you wanted to be the one", and cosasa breathlessly replied,
"heh heh heh heh… "This fool is masturbating. "
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:49 am on Nov. 18, 2009
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