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thaiaficionado
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I've just returned from spending five days in Chiang Mai. It was the first time I've been up north, and I highly recommend it for anyone looking to escape the touts and just enjoy the warmth and hospitality of the Thai people in an urban setting. Chiang Mai is the second largest city in Thailand, about 170, 000 people. Other advantages include lower prices and much cooler nighttime temperatures than Bangkok.
I've written the usual field reports before, and wanted to try something different. Although listed as a field report, this is also a story about the relationship between a bar girl and her customer. I'd never encountered a bar girl quite like this before. Here is my tribute to her. I hope the audience will bear with me.
I didn't make this trek alone. With kudos to ChicagoGuy's naming convention, I'll call my traveling companion IssanBeauty. She is one of those girls that has 'the look', the type that makes your knees buckle slightly when you see her for the first time. IssanBeauty is a 21 year old from Chaiyaphum. She quit as a university student as soon as she was old enough to support her family, despite being in the top third of her class. As the primary bread winner, she was constantly checking condoms for leakage, and claimed to have two break on her. "I don't care if I die, " she told me, "I care that no one will take care of my family."
Many Thai girls are uncomfortable about displaying emotions in public, but not IssanBeauty. This girl really has a lot of self-confidence. While waiting in the boarding area at Bangkok Airport, she locks arms at the elbow, pinches my cheek, kisses me  , and rubs my belly. "My pom pui man", she calls me.
About 70% of the travelers are farangs, there are one or two other thai-farang couples, but not with nearly a 30 year age difference. We may blend in on the lower Sukhumvit, but not in this crowd. Carrying on like a couple giddy newlyweds, we draw lots of attention. No one looks shocked or appalled, just curious. Yes folks, I got some this morning  , I'm going to get some tonight  , and I'm keeping this huge smile as long as I'm in Thailand  .
After the one hour flight, we check in the Chiang Mai Gate Hotel, a three star property in the southern part of the city, just south of the moat that surrounds the inner city. Not the best proximity for P4P, action, but that's not an issue. At the tour desk, we register for the elephant safari, at 900 THB/person, for the following day. In the evening, we tuk tuk to the night market, where a collection of restaurants encircle an outdoor dining area, much like at Phuket Patong. The tiger prawns are very tasty. IssanBeauty suggests I take her to visit her hometown of Chiyaphum, a mid-sized town near Khon Kaen, instead of later going down to Pattaya alone. An intriguing idea, but I didn't come here to devote myself to one woman. "Is no good for me, " I tell her. "A bar girl has very 'cold heart'. I'll fall in love with you, but to you, I'm just your ATM." She gives me a most puzzled look  , I don't think she's heard this one before. Then, she mutters what seems to be one of her favorite phrases: "f*ck off, Bob." 
In the morning, we're picked-up by the tour bus at 8:30. We collect three other couples along the way: a 30ish Swedish couple, a 30ish European couple, and a 60ish Egyptian couple living in Canada, besides ourselves: a fifty year old American and 21 year old Thai.
After introductions, the guide begins her presentation. "Chiang Mai is called the 'rose of the north' and produces the most beautiful women in Thailand. Then, turning to me, she says, "I see not everyone here agrees with that." 
A one hour drive along highways 107 and 1069 brings us to the Mae Sa Elephant Centre. IssanBeauty is really in her element here  . I purchase a bunch of bananas and sugar cane for 20 baht, hoping to capture a picture of her feeding them. She screams as one reaches out with it's trunk and grabs the food before either of us is ready. More elephants are frolicking in the river. One is submerged up to the neck, and appears to be doing a breast stroke. As the elephants emerge from the river, some spray with their trunks, as if it's the Songkran festival. IssanBeauty quickly back-peddles to avoid getting wet, then yells 'oweeee' as she nearly trips over a large pile of dung.
We take a seat in the bleachers for the one-hour elephant show. The giant mammals stand up on their back feet, then on their right feet, on their left feet, and finally, on their front feet. One large elephant picks up a soccer ball and boots it over the concession hut. Another tosses a basketball at a makeshift hoop. The ball hits the backboard and bounces off the rim. Gee, I could have made that shot.
The highlight of the day is the one-hour elephant ride. IssanBeauty and I climb into the cockpit, a small wooden bench perched atop several layers of blankets, and strapped around the animal's mid-section. A rope is tied across to hold us in. Our driver, the elephant trainer, sits atop the animal's head with his 'hook', used to control the elephant, much like the horse jockey's whip. As the elephant starts to move, we grab onto the metal frame of our seats, initially feeling very insecure.
Our elephant wades up-river and crosses into a forest. IssanBeauty spots a familiar variety of tree and instructs the trainer to navigate the animal so we can pick the branches, which contain small, purple berries that are quite bitter, but edible. IssanBeauty sings Thai songs to entertain us.
Our caravan proceeds up and down hills, and across several large, muddy pools of water. The animal immediately before us, evidently quite a mischievous rascal, manages to 'throw' his trainer into one of the pools of water. The trainer climbs back aboard, soaking wet, embarrassed, and steaming angry  , and whacks the ill-behaved beast several times with the hook. OUCH!
Back at the center, the next leg of the tour is the bamboo rafting. As fate would have it, we're assigned to share a raft with the Swedish couple. This prompts IssanBeauty into one of her 'I no like my dark skin' raps. Come on sweetheart, give us a break  .
We float downstream for 40 minutes, but it's too hot to enjoy. We dock and board an ox cart for a 20-minute ride to a resort where we're to be provided with a Thai-style buffet lunch. The ride was not very enjoyable, especially on the backside  .
During lunch, I ask IssanBeauty if her name really means 'watermelon', as our guide had claimed. I take a large piece of the watery fruit, pick out the seeds, and allow it to slowly dissolve in my mouth. "Mmmmmm", I moan, while making goo goo eyes at her  .She leans over and punches me in the arm while the other couples, watching us, drop their jaws  .
The afternoon's activities include a visit to a factory where paper is manufactured from elephant dung, and a visit to a very lovely orchid farm.
In the evening, we go back to the night market for dinner. IssanBeauty is very interested in my ancestry, so I tell her I'm one-quarter Irish, Scottish, German, and Norwegian. "I f*ck the world!, " she boasts.
Friday morning, I rent a Suzuki Cariban 4WD for a drive up the nearby mountain to Wat Prathat Doi Suthep, one of northern Thailands top attractions. It takes about an hour to ascend the mountain road to the temple, more than a thousand meters above the city. After parking, I purchase 35 baht cable car tickets because IssanBeauty refused to attempt the 300 step staircase. "Lazy girl", I complain.
The 'golden temple' is quite impressive, with magnificent views of the city and countryside. At the center, is a copper stupa flanked by huge ornamental umbrellas. IssanBeauty shows me how to light candles and burn incense as an offering, and make a wish to the Buddha. Inside, a monk ties a string around my wrist for good-luck, and gives me another string to tie on IssanBeauty.
We enjoy some mango and pineapple in the parking lot, then continue to ascend the mountain. The next stop is Phuping Palace, the winter residence of the royal family. The grounds are very nice, but hardly approaching the overindulgence of the Palace at Versailles. Very modest by standards of monarchy, I'd say. It's no wonder the Thais love their King.
We sit for awhile on a bench in the rose garden. "What you wish for from Buddha?" she asks me. I tell her, "I wished that you would love me." "No love Thai man. No love falang, " she states very emphatically, "only room in my heart for my family. I only want your money." Isn't such honesty refreshing?
It's getting late into the afternoon, I want to continue up the mountain to the Hmong Hilltribe Village, but IssanBeauty is much less enthusiastic. "Let's go have a look, " I tell her.
The road deteriorates significantly to the village, which resembles something from another century. The street is lined with small shops selling handicrafts, while opium poppies grow on the hillside. I find some fascinating stuff in the shops while IssanBeauty, who complains about a headache and wants to leave, returns to the car.
Key chains made from a tiger's tooth, elephant paperweights made of ivory, what great Christmas gifts, and for $4 or $5, with some bargaining. By the time I'm finished shopping, IssanBeauty is really pissed off. She won't speak to me during the 90 minute drive down the mountain. I think about the brothers assembling at the November round table about now. IssanBeauty is giving me the silent treatment, but she finally opens her mouth when I make a wrong turn back to the hotel.
In our room, I reach into my bag and pull out a bottle of Aleve. "Take these, " I tell her. A half hour later, her disposition is radically different. "You have very good medicine, " she tells me, and starts rubbing my crotch. "You horny?" she asks.
Taking advantage of her mood, I unbuckle my belt and drop my pants, and she gives me the full treatment. I barely have enough energy left to stagger into the bathroom and cleanup afterward. 
For dinner, she orders Issan food from the hotel, but I can't taste it. Sort of like putting burning embers in my mouth. 
I awake Saturday morning and practice my usual routine: lean up against IssanBeauty's magnificent naked body. I run my hand down her back and gently squeeze her tight butt, like Mr. Whipple testing the Charmain. Then, I reach around and rub her pussy. Since I'd left my passport as a deposit on the car, I wasn't able to cash traveler's checks and hense, hadn't paid IssanBeauty for the previous day. "No touch my ass. No touch my pussy, " she says, "you no pay. Go get my money and I f*ck you."
I pull plastic from my wallet and explain that I don't need money, I can have anything I want just by signing for it. "No want credit cards. No want ATM. Just want money. Go get my money, " she commands. I don't believe she's really serious, and think if I hang in there, she'll cave in. And she does.
This time, however, I hump, hump, hump but nothing comes. She gets the body lotion and gives me a nice HJ, but I'm still dry. "Why you no cum?" she asks. I explain that I'm old, and have been doing one, two, and three shots per day for two weeks. I need a day to refill the tank.
Today, I wish to visit the zoo, and stop at an ATM along the way. The big buzz at the Chiang Mai zoo are the panda bears, who just arrived in October. We need a special ticket, and have to stand in line, but they're very cute.
With one picture left in the camera, we head for the tiger habitat. A tiger is sleeping in the grass, too far away to capture on film. "Meow. Meow." IssanBeauty gives her Big Cat impersonation. The tiger just raises it's head and looks around, as if to say: WTF? 
Back at the hotel, I put on a nice thai silk shirt. "Why you make handsome?" IssanBeauty asks. I explain that we're going to the most popular night club in town, and I want to dress appropriately. "Besides, " I add, "if I make handsome, maybe you'll f*ck me for free?"
"Never!" she exclaims, and storms off into the bathroom. Meanwhile, I'm ROFL.
We drive to the Riverside Bar and Restaurant, on the east bank of the Ping River, and sit at a candle lit table on the terrace, overlooking the river. IssanBeauty is quite impressed.
"I sorry, darling. I cannot make good every day. Is not me. Sometimes I bad girl, stupid girl. I make falang so angry, not popular girl." Then, she points her nose in the air and shakes her head, "I don't care. I don't care. But you only smile. What you like about me? What you not like? I want to know."
I'm trying hard to contain myself from laughing hysterically, this girl really knocks me out. I really don't mind her antics, I find them quite amusing  . I like a girl with attitude, I've found them to be better in the sack. IssanBeauty is no exception, she's given me some of the hottest sex I've ever had , especially when she times it so we cum together.
I remember our first encounter. She's so pretty  , I was wondering if she would turn out to be a starfish. Then, she sits on the bed and says: "I like suck balls. You like?" So much for the starfish theory... After some invigorating oral stimulation, she grinds my tool. I sit up, to get my lips on the hard nipples protruding from her nice, perky tits. Her tight pussy has transformed me into a raging, runaway locomotive so I lunge forward, bringing my 250 lb frame down upon this delicate flower. We've run out of real estate on the king size bed, her head drops off the edge. Quickly, I slide my palm under the base of her skull so she won't strain her neck, while not missing a beat with my thrusts. After she pops my cork, all I can think is: Wow, is this girl hot.
Answering her question honestly, I say: "I don't like it when you bite. It hurts. But I like your tight pussy." She starts singing Thai songs until our food arrives.
After eating, we sit stage side and cycle through three bands. By closing time, I've consumed a couple mai tais, and 6 or 7 Irish coffees. Gotta give the Irish credit, they'll put whisky in anything. The rest of the evening is very blurrey  .
I awake Sunday, our last full day in Chiang Mai, and return the car after  . Since we're both wasted, we re-retire until afternoon. Then, I ask IssanBeauty whay she would like to do, and she wants to visit Wat Pra Singh in the city center.
We tuk tuk there, and IssanBeauty and I lit candles and burn incense. In one corner of the compound, a basketball court is set up. I'm amazed. Do the monks play basketball? How very cool  .
We enter the Viharn Laikam, and I study the interior murals while IssanBeauty prays. Exiting the structure, I notice my Nike tennis shoes are gone. IssanBeauty says the first people to leave were a tall farang with a moustache, with a Korean man and Thai woman. She says they were just standing in the temple, and not worshiping. We wait until everyone leaves, and find an unmatched pair of shoes on the steps, a raggedy old pair of New Balance tennis shoes, size US10.5. The glass is half full, at least the guy left his old pair behind. I'd hate to walk barefoot. Hope this guy won't return in his next life as one of those elephants that get whacked with the hook everyday.
We walk back to the hotel. About half way, my toes, jammed into the corners of these mangy ill-fitting shoes, begin to hurt, and I start waddling like a penguin. I tell IssanBeauty I must get new shoes ASAP and we head for a large shopping center in the northwest corner of town.
One store has a large supply of tennis shoes, but no Nike's larger than US10.5. I ask the clerk if he has any shoes in the store size US12, and he produces a pair of hiking boots. My feet are very happy to have shoes that fit.
We stop at a restaurant on the second floor for a few beers. "I like Bobby, my pom pui man, " she tells me. "You like my money, " I respond. "Yes, " she says, and we both toast our glasses  . "First time, second time, just money, " she says, "Third time, fourth time I go with you, I like Bobby."
"You mean I don't have to pay you today?" I inquire.
"f*ck off, Bobby" she answers, "I like you, I love you, then you have to pay more."
Back at the hotel, I give her the last installment. When we first met, she had quoted a price for long time that I said was too high, and she came down 500. I've been so impressed with her however, I've been paying her the higher amount anyway, plus an additional 200. Every day, for the past 6 days. For this, she agreed to deliver two shots per day.
"Here, I'll trust you and pay in advance, " Isaid. "This covers tonight and tomorrow morning."
"You want sex in the morning, you have to pay for short time." She says.
"Wait a moment, " I counter, "long time covers evening and morning  ".
"20th, 21st, you f*ck me three times, " she says.
"I don't remember that, " I reply, "Do you want to take the bus back to Bangkok tomorrow?"
"I take bus, I don't care, " she says, as she rolls over to her side of the bed and falls asleep.
Suddenly, I have no desire to have sex with her again, either tonight or tomorrow morning, even though I've already paid. I won't ask for the money back, but I could recover most of it with a refund on her return plane ticket. It would give her something to think about on the eleven-hour bus ride. Moreover, I'd just exchanged money at the shopping center, and when pulling travelers checks, exposed some $100 bills I kept for emergency. Can I trust her in her current state, not to steal my money while I sleep? I look around the room, and her bag is packed. I decide there's only one thing to do: time to give her the boot. It's 1:00 AM and I still might be able to get a girl for the night. I'm not worried about her finding a place to stay, with the money I've given her she can easily afford to stay at any of the best hotels in town.
I get up, and tap her gently on the leg. "I'm going out, you're free to leave now." "Where you go?" she asks. "You don't care, " I reply, "Come on, I want you out. Now.  "
She peers up at me with her brown eyes, like a puppy dog, unbelieving. I make the hitchhiking motion with my hand towards the door. "Come on. Out. Now. Pronto."
Finally, she slowly gets up, goes into the bathroom to use the toilet, comes out and brushes her hair and fixes her makeup in the mirror. I stand there waiting, relieved she's not going to make a scene. "And you're right. You're a stupid girl", not being able to resist throwing an insult at her.
"What stupid girl?" she says sadly, "Sorry you like me no more. Sorry to miss you, " and she extends her arm offering a handshake. I accept her offer and shake her hand, then open the door and tell her "Good Night, " and she leaves.
What a terrible day, first I lose my shoes, now I lose my girl. It seems all the great times we've had the past several days have been erased. I won't be able to enjoy all the pictures I took, because of her greed. But it's my fault for giving her the money in advance. I decide it's too late to go out, and start flipping the TV channels because I know I won't be able to sleep. I have no regrets, but still feel positively awful  . Suddenly, I realize just how much I really like this girl. It's not sex. Her classy exit just makes it more difficult.
At 1:30, the phone rings. I recognize the desk clerk's voice: "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." He says, and hangs up. What's this, did he dial incorrectly, or maybe she's still on the premises. Since I can't sleep, I decide to go out for a walk.
As I get off the elevator, two elderly Thai men smile at me. "She worry, " one of them says. I see IssanBeauty sitting in the lobby, crying  . I take the seat next to her and say "I won't stand to be
treated like that. Understand?"
"I sorry. I sorry, " she says, with tears streaming down both cheeks. I invite her back upstairs, and she accepts.
After she showers, I suggest we get some sleep, but she wants to talk. "From now, I only good girl for you, no more bad girl, no more stupid girl. You good man, good heart. Thank you, for bring me to Chiang Mai, give me money to take care me and my family."
"I'm not doing anything noble, " I assure her, "I'm just an old man having a fling with a young girl. I should feel ashamed."
"You not old, " she tells me, "I have many customers older than you." I ask her if she's happy working in the bar, and why doesn't she find a nice Thai man and settle down. She says she is happy, and wants to start her own business some day, a restaurant or internet shop.
Finally, it's time for the 'make-up' sex, and it's sooooo gooooood .At 3:30, I request a wake-up call.
I awake before the call, and tell IssanBeauty I'm going to the internet café across the street to check the football scores. I'm not going to bang her this morning, I don't want to risk a controversy.
At the airport, she's her usual jovial self again: locking arms, pinching my cheek, kissing me, and rubbing my belly. I fell very happy, too. 
Arriving back in Bangkok, I offer to drop her at home, but she insists on accompanying me to the Eastern Bus Terminal. Normally, I take a taxi to Pattaya, but I've overspent my budget.
When we get there, the bus is ready to leave. I give her 100 for taxi fare, take my seat on the bus, and wave , and blow her a kiss. As the bus is pulling away, she reciprocates both. Thank you IssanBeauty, for making my trip to Chiang Mai such a memorable experience. I'll never forget you. Every time I have watermelon, I'll think of you.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:31 am on Nov. 30, 2003
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NaughtiusMaximus
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Nice report, reminds me of my Chiang Mai ups and downs a few months ago. Only thing I have to say negativley and it is a big negative, you should be ashamed. It is NOT a good idea to buy tiger teeth and elephant ivory products for any reason, let alone xmas, shame on you, even if you did not buy them, as they say, its the thought that counts.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:04 am on Nov. 30, 2003
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rezyek
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Very funny report... loved it...
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:51 am on Nov. 30, 2003
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Montydog
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I want some of that paper made out of elephant sh*t.
Do they do Ink from monkey piss aswell.
Good report by the way.
Tut tut on the ivory you may get busted at customs in your home country. (hopefully)
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:52 am on Nov. 30, 2003
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CalEden
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Excellent report.  In the sasy way of your TG you have described the Thai girlfriend experience.
Last November at the Riverside drank a bottle of Asti Spumonte with my TGF , while watching the Loy Krathong wreaths float down the river. Next morning she said, "me no like Champagne head go Boom Boom!".
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:09 pm on Nov. 30, 2003
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mokewen
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thaiaficionado -
Great FR - and so real!
I have been there before and your FR brought it all back....
moke
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:11 pm on Nov. 30, 2003
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PopSecret
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thaiaficionado -
That was a great report that puts my sh*t to shame and gives me reason to try again. Maybe one of these days, possibly in old age, I will have something like this to submit. After my last trip I wish I had just hit Pattaya, found my last GFE and picked up where we left off last time. Would have made for a lot more rewarding visit and report. Maybe next time.
Oh, and I think this is where I'm supposed to say "Don't buy ivory products!" or something. 
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:52 pm on Nov. 30, 2003
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thaiaficionado
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Greatly appreciate the compliments, Bros. I was afraid the story was too long and would put people to sleep. I cut the first two days from the initial draft, PopSecret probably saw us together at Majestic Suites.
CalEden: 'Sassy' is the prefect word to describe her.
Sorry about the ivory, didn't think of it at the time. Victims of Kryptonite, no doubt. Next time, I'll do the opium instead.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:10 am on Dec. 1, 2003
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Thin White Duke
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Just fininished, Bob. As usual, your literary acumen is unsurpassed. Issan Beautie's imagined image rests comfortably in my mind, as well as that sh*t-eating grin you exhibit when the BG is cleaning your ear with her tongue.
So true of the blue flame of infatuation and Thai style puppy love which quickly flickers and ultimately diminishes to a grey smoky buisness arrangement coupling. I tire myself so quickly of the ultimate disintegration and tend to rely more on the "quicky" to avoid such entanglements. What with my situation on the homefront, when honest, the BG knows theirs no hope whatsoever for future prospects anyway.
Overall, despite my usual dislike of FR's, a good job, very well done, and thank you for sharing.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:46 am on Dec. 4, 2003
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StrayGypsy
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Chaaii, gotta keep the scene to short term affairs cause they can break ya down as to the heart and the baht. Lots of ladys to lust and love in Thailand. Christ I wish USA could be invaded with Thai girl cultural ways.
Enjoy the Vay K's and get em while their young and hot. Which there's BG's turnin of age everyday * )
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:49 pm on Dec. 4, 2003
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