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sirtitus
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Here's the deal:
My girlfriend Angel and I are living together. About 2 weeks ago, Angel's sister calls her up from Isan and says that her drunken, good-for-nothing husband has been beating on her. Angel asks me if it's alright if the sister (and her 14 month old baby) can come stay with us for a while.
I have a special hatred for wife-beating lowlifes so my heart goes out to the sister and say she can stay with us as long as she needs to.
She comes the next day. My privacy with Angel has been eliminated but that's the price you pay. No problem.
Anyway, I'm expecting the husband to show up at my door at any time looking for his wife and kid.
He came yesterday while I was out on the town with some bros from the forum. Angel told me on the phone that everything was fine. I get back late (and very drunk) and go to sleep.
I wake up the next morning (still severely hungover) to find that Angel's sister has left sometime in the morning. She doesn't want anything to do with the husband and she just took off. Angel's pretty sure that she's not going to come back.
However, the husband is still there... with the baby.
He seems to have no interest at all in leaving. I guess he thinks that he can just camp out at my place until the wife comes back. Think again.
Basically, Angel doesn't want him there and obviously doesn't like him. He's a drunk who doesn't work and beats his wife... there's very little to like. But Angel will NOT tell him to leave... even though she wants him to.
Maybe one of you guys can enlighten me about this. This is some saving face Thai custom, right? It'd be really really bad to ask the guy to leave? We have to just wait until he decides it time to go back Isan?
My big problem is I'm back to work tomorrow and I refuse to leave my girlfriend alone with that scumbag. Either he leaves tonight (or early tomorrow morning) or I'm not going to work.
How do I tell the guy to leave without being some jaidam farang who doesn't understand? Can I even do it?
My patience has limits. I speak enough Thai that I can tell him that I don't want his sorry ass in my apartment and tell him to go back to Isan. Hell, I'll even pay for the bus ticket and the taxi to the bus station.
What to do... what to do...
SirTitus
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:38 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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S05
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Kick his arse out of your house or unit,give him a purple and say you go now,or call the police get Angel to tell them whats going on.
Grab the kid, I`m sure the sister will come back if she nows that the bashing prick has gone.
Hell if he puts up a bit of shit give him some of the same meds that he has been dishing out to his wife !
my 10 bht`s worth
S05.
Kone-Ling.
edit in: Just smoke him......over the rail you go son.....sorry officer.......he was kee mow  he fell
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:51 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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S05
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ok, still he is not wanted in your unit,ask him to leave then,if he doesnt call the police.
Me, out you go son this is my place not yours.
Drunk arse.
S05.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:19 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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Gone South
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Give him a ticket (not cash, he'll spend it on beer) for the trip back home. If that doesn't work, explain that you can't have him staying while you're away, it would be inappropriate. If he still doesn't get the message, you're pretty much out of options; tell him it's out or a dose of his own medicine...and be sure to MEAN it! Anyway, that's what I would do. I seriously doubt you will be able to "finesse" your way out of something like that, especially if Angel won't back you up.
BTW, why on earth would you care about saving his face in that situation?!? You owe this creep absolutely nothing...
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 3:45 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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Adventure Guy
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This is a family problem spilling over onto you, and your first option should be to have THEM resolve it! Which means that you tell Angel in no uncertain terms that SHE gets rid of him IMMEDIATELY - or else.
If she doesn't/can't then you need to get her out of there also - and out of your life - unless you enjoy that kind of dysfunctional life now and from now on ad infinitum. There are lots more Angels in Heaven. If she does so then you know that you have someone worth keeping around longer - If she doesn't then you positively DON'T.
Why give him money - you don't owe him crap and he will only take that as a sign of the weakness that it is.
If she doesn't resolve it then do the same as in any country - tell him you're going to call the police and then do so. Hire a couple of motorcycle goons to stand with you while you're waiting if you think you need to. After the BIB do their job with him, then you get her out.
If it remains sticky then change apartments.
DON'T touch the kid! It's his - NOT yours - and theirs to settle.
Taking the sister in was a reasonable and kind move. Letting him in - past the threshold even, under the circumstances, was not thinking very clearly - it was time for a call to the BIB THEN!
Learn from it.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 5:00 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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PopSecret
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Taking the sister in was a reasonable and kind move. Letting him in - past the threshold even, under the circumstances, was not thinking very clearly - it was time for a call to the BIB THEN!
I wouldn't wish this situation upon anyone, but I also think the above comment truly says it all. I hope you can resolve this quickly and without losing anything in the process. Best of luck.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:07 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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Hugh Jardon
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I agree substantially with Adventure Guy. Any cultural obligations that apply to Angel don't translate to you. But perhaps Angel is afraid to tell him this herself because this is her sister's husband, so you must do it. It is your appartment and your right to determine who you allow to stay there.
If this guy understands enough English or you speak good enough Thai, tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not like guys who beat defenceless women and such people are not welcome in your appartment. Tell him this in a calm but firm and reasoned voice. Leave him in no doubt that he must go right away. If he shows any reluctance, then call in the BIB. If I understand things right over there, if you are violent to this creep, the BIB will always take the side of the Thai against the Farang. Am I right? If you call them in and Angel explains the circumstances to them, you are quite within your rights to demand that he leaves the appartment as an unwanted "guest", regardless of the tenuous family ties that brought him there. It is a pity that you even allowed him over the threshold in the first place, but sometimes hard to react quickly in those circumstances.
I agree too that why should you pay a satang to this worthless specimen?
I don't see why any of this should reflect badly on Angel. It is not her fault that her sister chose such a shit to marry. It seems to me that it is because he might actually be so stereotypical of Thai manhood that the TGs end up in P4P in the first place. Secondly, also why TGs appreciate Farang guys as being better than Thai guys, rightly or wrongly.
Good luck, mate. I hope that things are resolved satisfactorily soon.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:52 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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French Goat
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sirtitus,
It's really a stinky situation. I agree with most of the things that were said here previously.
I would recommend you to say to Angel the following: "Tell your brother in law that you are sorry, but the farang doesn't want you (him) to stay here no more, and he will go to the police if you refuse to leave and he also knows that you beat your wife and he said that he will fill a complaint mentioning all the story if you don't go away. I cannot help you because he is very upset and if I insist it won't be good for my relationship too, so you must understand and go now."
Then, she just has to translate in Thai, and she can "put the blame" on you (even if you don't have anything to be ashamed of, of course!) when saving her face.
Hope this helps. Good luck, man...
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I do not think that you will be murdered simply for asking him to leave your apartment. Remain calm, and help him to return in HIS home (if needed, buy him the bus ticket as explained by other members previously).
Since I'm living in the LOS, I already had to sue two Thais entrepreneurs. People usually speak a lot and threaten in those cases, but never act. I do not say that it never happens, of course, when a farang is murdered, it is more or less well-documented and sometimes amplified. IMHO, people who beat their wife are not probably the most courageous ones. You know your brother-in-law better than anybody in this forum, so you are the best judge on this situation.
Of course, there is a risk for each decision taken. Do you habitually remain confined at home because you could have a circulation accident when crossing the streets in Bangkok?
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:11 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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DrLove
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Well, do the following....
1. Give him 200 baht and ask him to buy a bottle of whisky at 7-11.
Then instruct the guard not to let him in at any price. If he gets upset... repeat point 1.
Don't listen to the French Goat...Remember the Danish guy a couple of weeks ago who made profound remarks to his brother's Thai wife? He was killed soon after by her brother.
Remember, those Thais have a flair for revenge, especially when they are wife abusers and drunks.
If everything failes, move out and change to your old apartment. There I saw sometimes an American chased after by his meat- cleaver donning wife. But as least he's still alive...
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:03 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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LocalYokul
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Quote: from DrLove on 7:57 pm on Dec. 12, 2004
Don't listen to the French Goat...Remember the Danish guy a couple of weeks ago who made profound remarks to his brother's Thai wife? He was killed soon after by her brother.
Remember, those Thais have a flair for revenge, especially when they are wife abusers and drunks.
as if any of us listen/read FG's opinion any more 
He thinks he knows, but has obviously NEVER really been in the thick of it 
well, first off, like everyone else has said, the unwelcome guest should never have been allowed inside 
I also agree with DrLove's idea of sending him out for whiskey, but that would only work if your apartment has good security
you can get away with the excuse that you cannot leave him alone with Angel during the day. This is certainly NOT allowed by Thais, that another man spend the day alone at home with his wife or GF
Once you are rid of the pest I suggest you have NO further contact with the sister or brother-in-law, best way to avoid the BS
even back home these types of situations can end up with people getting killed, crimes of passion
A co-worker of mine was shot dead on the steps of the neighboring house when he came to retrieve his wife after giving her a shiner (black eye)
It's best to not get involved AT ALL. I'd almost bet money that Angel's sister let this bloke in during a weak moment
I see the locals fight amongst themselves ALL the time where I live & it gets pretty nasty
ok, let's see, you are seriously frightened by your ole lady whom you fear from when BFing a gal in Voodoo, and she's got a derelict family
time to say bye bye, or at least tell her that her family is OFF LIMITS for you from now on.
OTOH, you have a reason to be out of the house now, partying in NEP/SC while she deals with her derelict family member, & trust me she can if she's forced to
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:16 am on Dec. 12, 2004
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