| |
Ballsburstin
|
Enjoyed all the commentray in this latest go-round on sponsorship. A quick look at back posts will tell you what I'm spending. Everything said and done, I can't disagree with much that's said here. My TGF keeps a spreadsheet budget (she took a bookkeeping class recently) and we go over the numbers when I am there. She is very proud of her ability to do this -- a real step up from where she was before.
But you are all correct: unless you plan to marry the lady at some point, you have to dig deep to decide about the sponsorship thing. If a TGF just sits at home, "so she won't have to work in the sex industry," then the money is being spent for philanthropy, after everything is said and done.
And I do believe that, mostly, it's the ladies who really benefit from sponsorship, and that most farangs are doing so because of conflicted emotions. So I don't demonize the ladies -- which is why I laughed uproariously at Pack's sarcasm about the lightweight Plasma TV. Hey, they are getting away with it!
But some of us do it because we work closely with the ladies, and may actually put together a future with them. Yeah, it's frought with frustration and issues, but what relationship isn't? My TGF expects to marry me and live happily ever after -- it was one of her stated goals in working at the go-go bar: to snag a farang like me. So I'm happily flailing on the end of the hook. Maybe if it digs too deep into my chin, I'll wise up. ;)
But in the end, she has responsibilities: family up north, finishing her GED, her son, and so on. And she is old enough to feel obligation to those in a responsible way. I wouldn't sponsor anyone younger than her, because I'm not convinced they would be old enough to know much about life and relationships. Hell, at 20, I didn't really know jack. So it would be really naive of me to think they do. And to entrust them with my money.
So, hey, sponsor if you must, but stay rational about it. And be prepared for cmore's proverbial other shoe dropping. More often than not, it will.
- Balls
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:54 pm on Jan. 7, 2003
|
|
Been2Bangkok
|
Isn't there anything lighter than a plasma TV that can be carried to the pawn shop?
Didn't someone say that money and (those who think they are philantropic) are soon parted? Or was it WC Fields who said there's a birth every minute....no, one of the Ringling Brothers...
I think Thai women are beautiful but the hearts of hardened pros are so ugly (to me).
Don't ask me where I'm going with this.....I'm already jetlagged thinking about landing in Don Muang in a week!
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 3:26 am on Jan. 8, 2003
|
|
The Machine
|
This sponsorship thing is outta hand.I cannot believe guys sending not just little bits of money but huge amounts to their TG's.Why?I don't understand.
It is in essence a de facto ownership attempt that is doomed to fail.
These TG's survived before you came along and will no doubt continue to survive when you decide to stop sponsoring.I don't blame the girls for this for if someone was gullible enough to send money to me for nothing why wouldn't i take it.For them it is a long long time barfine without the hassle of sex.Perfect!!!!
I have never been asked by TG's to send money to them and from time to time i have had girls that i came back to or mailed regularly not one of these girls ever asked me to send them money and i never volunteered.Many guys set themselves up by deciding on their own bat to send money to women that they have known for a few days or a best a few weeks.
The girls do not respect these guys.They think they are stupid and do not believe them when they say they love them after knowing them for such a short period of time.
If a TG really likes you she will be prepared to wait for you regardless of whether you send money or not.After all many Thai working girls are supporting useless Thai boyfriends who i presume they like so if they like you there is no need to send money. If they are a working girl try to convince them to do something else or failing that be content to let them continue working until you can live in the same country together.
Really unless you are living in the same country it is a waste of time and money.i.e. geographically impossible
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:02 am on Jan. 8, 2003
|
|
Packripper
|
Agree with ABC, never again.
Tried it (locally, not from overseas) and it was really fun for the first 4-5 months. Then went to hell in a hand basket in the 6th month. Idle hands are the devil's handy work.
Now I just stick with the local custom of 2-72 hour girlfriends and out. Sometimes I have a relapse but fortunately I'm under constant therapy.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:56 pm on Jan. 8, 2003
|
|
phiijames
|
I have done it twice, and I would do it again. ÝActually, I wouldn't use the word "sponsorship"; I would tend to describe it more as having a girlfriend to whom I gave a monthly allowance.
First case was about four years ago. ÝShe was working as a DJ in a Soi 33 bar. She had had her own business, which failed when a customer bounced a cheque on her, leaving her with large debts. Ý She was quite non-BG like, polite, well-spoken, conservatively dressed. Ý She was working purely for drinks and didn't go with customers. It took several months before she slept with me. ÝAt the time I first knew her, she had finished Mor 3 (i.e. 3 years of high school). ÝI gave her an allowance of 15,000 baht a month. Ý She started on the long path to getting a degree: at first, she did Gor Sor Nor to finish high school and simultaneously studied at Ramkamhaeng as a non-degree student; after getting her high school certificate, she then became a regular student at Ram; she also studied at AUA. I was living in Bangkok, so we saw each other frequently. Ý We broke up after nine months, mostly because I was getting bored. ÝI gave her a wodge of cash when we broke up, so that she would have some hope of finishing her degree. Ý A couple of months ago, she rang me up out of the blue to tell me she had finished her degree; that really made my day; she is working in a day job as a secretary.
Second case was about two years ago. ÝShe was working in a upscale member club as a hostess. ÝShe was making 30-40,000 baht a month without sleeping with anybody. ÝShe had put herself through Por Wor Sor (two years vocational college). ÝI gave her 20,000 month. ÝShe started studying at a private University to get a degree in hotel management. Ý We split up a few months ago for a variety of reasons (not through any fault of hers). ÝI also gave her a wodge of cash, so that she could finish her degree. ÝI think she will do fine. Ý For her 3 month work experience, she managed to get accepted at a 5-star hotel and that seemed to go well, so I think she will be able to get a good job when she graduates.
In both cases, I enjoyed good times with them when we were together, and I think I have helped both of them put their lives on a better track. Ý I think the important things are
- choose the right girl; I wouldn't do this with a girl whoÝI thought was sleeping with customers for money on a regular basis
- make sure the girl does something useful with her time (eg study for a degree)
- live locally and spend time together
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:13 pm on Jan. 8, 2003
|
|
phiijames
|
I don't think 20,000 baht/month is excessive. ÝAlthough it's much more than the average wage, it's a reasonable amount to enable a comfortable, pleasant lifestyle. If you're giving money to a girl, then presumably you like them, and want them to have a pleasant lifestyle. ÝSure it's possible to live in Bangkok on 10,000, but it's a pretty frugal existence.
20,000 is what Ýit takes to
- have a decent one-room apartment in a reasonable area
- use a mobile phone
- take taxis
- eat what you want
- send a modest amount of money home
- buy clothes/cosmetics from time to time
- go out from time to time
without having to scrimp and save all the time.
Another thing is that it's very hard for anybody (not just BGs) who has been living a lifestyle that costs X baht to suddenly adapt to a lifestyle that costs X/2 baht.
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:24 pm on Jan. 8, 2003
|
|
Chompoo
|
Another reason why paying a premium over a "fair" wage is that since you have an exclusive relationship with the girl you are preventing her from getting involved with someone else who could give her a real potential long-term relationship. Hopefully that money will be saved or put to good use (i.e. education or investment) and will ensure her life after you is a little better.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:58 pm on Jan. 9, 2003
|
|
Ballsburstin
|
phiijames ,
I think you've stated my own thoughts (in more detail) about the sponsorship thing quite well. Since my TGF sends a chunk of her cash home every month, in reality she lives on much less than I give her.
Several things are important for any of this to succeed:
1) Where is the sponsor in his/her own life, and are they ready for a long term (possibly lifelong) committment? After all, that's generally the point of this kind of situtation.
2) Pick the right lady (hard to do, even if you are "sure" about her). In my case, my TGF's parents and sisters were never happy about her decision to work as a go-go girl, particularly her dad, and this always weighed heavily on her mind. She also doesn't drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs.
3) "Idle hands are the devil's playthings." If she's not going to school, or moving her life/career forward in some meaningful way, you're probably wasting your time and money (not to mention the emotional energy).
4) Insist on results (a very non-Thai thing). When I get pedantic about school, etc., she will smile and say "yes, dad!" That usually pulls me up short, but it reminds me that she is listening and doing the best she can.
5) Give her some room. My TGF has considered several job related things while pursuing her GED, and I have encouraged this. Most recently, she was approached to work as a waitress at a major hotel, because she has poise and speaks relatively good English now. And, no, I won't tell the rest of you horn dogs WHICH hotel! 
6) Keep your expectations reasonable. And be prepared to end things when they aren't working. I think the exit strategy phiijames has used was beneficial to all, and I am happy to hear that the ladies he's known are doing well. My best to them.
7) If you find yourself in the end game, e.g., she's finished school, got a job, speaks English and you speak Thai, can accept some of the obligations from a different culture, and you're still happy and loving each other, then marry her. After all, wasn't it all about this to begin with?
- Balls
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:26 pm on Jan. 9, 2003
|
|
lovepygmy
|
Peace at last!
Finally reading posts that echo my sentiments and give me some empathy with other board members. It is a little frustrating to hear the same line of comments, be it 'how cheaply I can get a girl', 'how big my penis is and how much the girls love it' or 'give me the name and number of the last girl you had sex with because I can't be arsed to do any of the social niceties myself'.
Do we recognise these multiple posters?
Gratifying to read posts from honourable members, most of whom I suspect live here.
Thanks for giving me a sense of peace.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:48 am on Jan. 11, 2003
|
|
BoomARang
|
lovepygmy - 'how cheaply I can get a girl', 'how big my penis is and how much the girls love it', 'give me the name and number of the last girl you had sex with because I can't be arsed to do any of the social niceties myself'
Well, I can get girls for free because they love my big penis so much but I'm such an asshole that they get cheesed off after the first night so can anyone give me phone numbers of their favorite women?
Truth be told, I have to tie a blue string around it so I can tell it from the rest of the pubes down there and I would shave to make it easier to find but I'm afraid I would slip and take the blue string and all! ;)
Seriously though, this has been quite the impressive thread, the likes of which I have never seen on any of the boards pertaining to Thailand that I have seen.
Basically, from a compilation of all the various posts, its seems;
1. Pick the right woman.
2. Support an improvement in her life as opposed to a maintenance of her lifestyle.
3. Set goals and make sure they are met.
4. There are countless charities in Thailand that could benifit from money that has been wasted on women that either didn't deserve it or did nothing with it.
The last one, #4, is just one I slipped in there. THB 8,000 is enough for a one months supply of the HAART cocktail to help keep a child who is HIV positive alive that much longer. If one wants to assuage one's guilt or be a Knight in Shining Armor, I know a number of organizations in Thailand that could use any help they can get whether they be HIV related or just orphanages.
But, "honourable members"? Don't include me in that group, with my Kharmic debt, I'd have to speed up just to reach a stop! ;) 
Ichi
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:43 am on Jan. 12, 2003
|
|
| |
|
