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Baskoy
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Let's face it If our wives G/F etc told us to go ahead do what we want but be careful. Would you like that? Not me,I want her to care about what I do and if she condones that sort of behaviour in you who knows what she would get up to herself.
And don't tell me anyone wouldn't mind if she played away cos we are all hypocrites on that count!!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:54 am on April 7, 2005
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LiamOZ
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Kaymanx,
The stockmarket analogy is right on the money (pardon the pun)
"...... if the wife were understanding and accommodating enough to take this in good humour, it would not have been cheating. So it is cheating just because she won't or can't"
Funny, sometimes when I have the rare frank exchange with 'the missus' I feel like telling her about all my good times and good people I've met. Good sense prevails, and naturally I compain about being booked for LOS....AGAIN!
Thanks to all,
I really enjoyed air-ing all this stuff. Good for the soul!
I'm on the red wine (a fine Hunter Valley Shiraz) right now slow please excuse any sloppiness, while I contemplate forthcoming tour.
Cheers,
Liam
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 4:56 am on April 7, 2005
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sirtitus
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Quote: from Baskoy on 6:48 pm on April 7, 2005
And don't tell me anyone wouldn't mind if she played away cos we are all hypocrites on that count!!
Couldn't agree more. Even though I butterfly every chance I get, the thought of Angel f***ing around on me infuriates me.
SirTitus
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:05 am on April 7, 2005
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Minder
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I will come at this question from a different angle.
Reading this thread I am concluding that I may need to "cheat" just to give the woman I love a break from my demands for her attention. At this moment in my life I am being monogamous (not sure if I spelt that correctly - it is not a word I can remember using much) and not "cheating" on anyone. I even sent my long time "gik" on her way.
This state of affairs has existed for about 6 months now...the longest stretch in about 10 years....and I think I have made one huge mistake....
I love only one woman...I need only one woman...I want only one woman....she is great....she is wonderful....and I know I am going to place such demands on her emotions....to call me...to think about me...to miss me when I am not with her...to enjoy every moment we are together....that I know that I am probably....PROBABLY...almost certainly...absolutely.... going to ruin what we now have for both of us.
Before long I am going to suffocate her emotions.....I worry I am doing it already.....be with me..be with me...think about me...think about me.....miss me miss me..call me call me.....only one thing more dangerous to a relationship than what some here would call "cheating" and that is caring (aka "needing" ) too much....
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:11 am on April 7, 2005
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bkkfella
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The original question was why do we cheat and do we feel guilty about it ?
Actually the reason we males tend to cheat is deeply biological. Richard Dawkins, the emminent scientist, explains in his books that males of all species are driven to pass their genes to the next generation so his genes will survive. He does this by passing his sperm to and mating with as many fertile females as possible. That is as many as he is strong enough and powerful enough to attract to agree to mate with him.
A women on the other hand insures her genes survive by protecting the very few eggs she has and nurturing them so they will survive the rigors of life's competition. For this she needs a man's sperm, support and protection. This is why, except for curious female teenagers, women are not as promiscuous as men.
As for feeling guilty. Knowing that your mate will be deeply hurt and terrified that you are/might be leaving her should make a man feel guilty if he is a mature decent person considerate of others, especially those he loves and who give love back to him.
But guilt is not necessary if the woman knows her man strays now and then and is ok with that (not too many Thai women fall into this category I think). She may be confident he will come back to the nest because she knows he loves her and realistically tolerates her man's desires. So he has little fear of hurting her and thus no feelings of guilt (guilt = fear of condemnation for an immoral act or wrongdoing).
My take anyway.... FWIW.
Cheers
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:12 am on April 7, 2005
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dirty guru
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No such thing as cheating,...its social work, once you live here, see they need money, its just f***ing good karma....
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:27 am on April 7, 2005
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cheapcharlie
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yep these poor women dont have the bus fare home nor food money (thats what they tell me).If I didn'ttake them to a sthotel what would become of them,i had a couple of cases yesterday -- social work, ji dee...
At last I ;ve found my mission in life
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:37 am on April 7, 2005
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Kaymanx
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Bkkfella:
"She may be confident he will come back to the nest because she knows he loves her and realistically tolerates her man's desires."
That's every man's ideal wife. And you are right that not too many Thai women fall in this category. I remember on my last trip to LOS -- that was a week back -- I was sitting at the Dundee bar on Cowboy and there was this nice big girl keeping me company in there, telling me I am a nice man. No customers around, and the few that were being inveigled in were leaving in a hurry. This girl told me she was married but separated. I asked her why, expecting the stock answer, and I got it. Her man was going after other women, she said. "Oh," I replied, "I too go after other women and I also have a wife at home, and you just told me I am a nice man."
I thought I had her there, but her reply, I thought, was practical. "You care for your family, that is nice" she said. "I want my man care for me and my family."
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:09 am on April 7, 2005
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Kaymanx
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LiamOz
"Funny, sometimes when I have the rare frank exchange with 'the missus' I feel like telling her about all my good times and good people I've met. Good sense prevails, and naturally I compain about being booked for LOS....AGAIN!"
Absolutely sensible thing to do. I have learned one thing through love and marriage -- after 2 decades through it I still love her and am committed to her -- that, it makes for good diplomatic relations to tell as much as she WANTS to hear and -- more importantly -- EXPECTS to hear. If there are times I feel when she strongly suspects I have been doing more than work in LOS I tell her casually about the wonderful go-go bars and the awesome fun I had there watching the girls dance. Maybe that satisifes her or maybe she is smarter than that enough to know I am playing possum.
There might seem to be an element of dishonesty here but, I would quote Bkkfella once again :"As for feeling guilty. Knowing that your mate will be deeply hurt and terrified that you are/might be leaving her should make a man feel guilty if he is a mature decent person considerate of others, especially those he loves and who give love back to him."
Spot on !
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:26 am on April 7, 2005
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Smegma
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Why we cheat and we do not feel guilty? Because it is in our genes.
There is an excellent article by Robert Wright titled "Our Cheating Hearts" -Devotion and betrayal, marriage and divorce: how evolution shaped human love. I posted the article long ago in this forum one time when a similar topic was discussed. For those who may want to read the article on why we cheat and why it is ok to do so, the article is here: http://www.holysmoke.org/cretins/love01.htm
Quote: from bkkfella on 5:06 pm on April 7, 2005
Actually the reason we males tend to cheat is deeply biological. Richard Dawkins, the emminent scientist, explains in his books that males of all species are driven to pass their genes to the next generation so his genes will survive. He does this by passing his sperm to and mating with as many fertile females as possible. That is as many as he is strong enough and powerful enough to attract to agree to mate with him. A women on the other hand insures her genes survive by protecting the very few eggs she has and nurturing them so they will survive the rigors of life's competition. For this she needs a man's sperm, support and protection. This is why, except for curious female teenagers, women are not as promiscuous as men.
Dawkins, excellent evolutionary biologist! First to coin the term "memes." I think this is the first time in a thread in this forum that someone mentions Dawkins before I do. Way to go Bkkfella....
Good start. You must be thinking of "The Selfish Gene." However, I will be my pedantic self and correct you as you are doing a diservice to Dawkins by wrongly trying to explain what he very eloquently said in his books. You must have forgotten since you read them.
You said that males are driven to pass their genes. Right. But so are women. One reason why Dawkins studies were so innovative is because he incorporated "economics" into genetics. Economics from the point of view of how to maximize return in terms of minimum effort at passing genes and success. Dawkins manages to explain why in some societies (not only humans, but any animal as well) it is even advantageous to some females to cheat.
You say women protect their eggs? How so? Are you taking about those still unmatured eggs? Well, she protects them by staying alive. The one of the month is another matter. That is one of a matter of making the best use of it, and that is a matter of choice, or else it goes to waste and she must wait another month.
But, we are digressing. My point is that Dawkins said much more and that is a not very correct oversimplication you made. I am sure you knew better but now must have fogottent a bit. For a good -but not as entertaining- follow up to The Selfish Gene, you have The Extended Phenotype also from Dawkins. Another good book in the same subject is The Mating Mind from Geoffrey Miller; this book is about how sexual choice shaped the evolution of human nature.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:07 am on April 7, 2005
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