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Bigone
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Well regardlessof what anyone thinks the truth is you that you can take the bar girl out of the bar but you can NEVER EVER take the bar out of the girl.
If you try you will be doomed from the start
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:14 am on Jan. 6, 2003
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MichaelBoy
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I think one problem in relationships with ex bar-girls is that they (at least some of them) don't consider beeing faithful so important. I have had such a relationship now for 2 years now and one time when she got angry to me she threaten that she will go sleep with another boy. I thought she just kidding, but she was not. She did it... Just to hurt me. Then it was near the relationship ended and I have looked in our relationship with different eyes after that. A normal thai girl would never do a thing like this (ok, "never" is wrong word, but more unlikely).
Another problems is that they lies a lot. They lies much more than normal girls (thai or no thai) and I guess their life in the bar scene is the reason for all this. There they must pretend and lie for the customers from day to night and of course that make some damage in the mind after a time.
But everything is not just negative. Girls worked in the bar actually understand "farangs" better than the average thai girl that probably never have met a farang before. The bar girls have also some understanding of the "farangs" home country, not just what they have read in the book. The bar girls also frequently follow to the westernized hotels and restaurants and get some understanding of the westerner life style. And if you like partying and discos or like visiting pubs then an ex-bar girl really knows how to have fun.
I read the article and found it very negative. Some parts of it is true but some parts is not. I know that some of my girlfriend's/her parents friends suspect she have worked in a bar a time, but they always shows a lot of respect to me and my gf. And I'm good friend with some of them (most middle-class people). But of course, I never discuss her past with them. That would be silly. But I get the feeling that nobody really cares about your past, they just look who you are right now. And if a ex-bar girl can behave herself nobody really cares. But of course, if she behave like a bar-girl then they will look down on her.
And it's also wrong that all marriages between ex-bar girls and farangs end in disaster. I know some cases that have ended quit well. But it's probably true that the majority of the marriages end with a divorce, but also normal marriages end with a divorce nowadays. That's more and more common. Very few stay married the whole life.
But if you stay married 1 or 2 years and it ends bad. So what? So long you don't loose the control of your money that just an interesting experience. Your heart may be broken, but you can overcome it with time.
I don't know how long my relationship will last but I really don't regret what have happened so far. I have seen the dark side of Thailand but also the light side. That's experiences I don't want to be without.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 7:23 am on Jan. 6, 2003
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Smegma
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Quote: from MichaelBoy on 8:23 pm on Jan. 6, 2003
....So what? ......Your heart may be broken, but you can overcome it with time.....
So true !!
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:32 pm on Jan. 6, 2003
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thaiprivateeye
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"can NEVER take the bar out of the girl" dont agree, unlikely,difficult, yes ... - and believe me, doubt many people in LOS have the insight into this type of thing that I have - not being big headed, its just part of my job - Greg sums up well, good story, in my case, my wife is 20 years+ younger than me, was a freelancer, but it helps alot that I understand Thai ways/culture - otherwise we wouldnt last 5 mins, also, the biggest hassle I ever had with a TG, was with an Ex from a very good background, well connected family - they got me thrown in the Bkk Hilton for a few days on a trumped up charge ! - and believe me, you wouldnt wish that on anyone - Guess like any relationship, if you both want it to work, it probably can, regardless of background. With most farangs/TGs think its a case of the Guy wants to have an experience with the Girl - and the girl wants the money ... at the end, the Girl has the money, and the guys had the experience ....
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:38 pm on Jan. 6, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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Thaiprivateye- This is a well thought out answer based on experience. I think a lot of people believe that if one finds the right class and background in any culture that is all that is necessary? Well I have mixed in many cultures mainly European and then Thai and to a certain extent that is true. But just think that in Britain now and in the US the chance of any marriage working is less than 50%. Thats on all class and cultural levels. Usually the Thai/farang match is not based from what I have seen on an equal and educational background. But this does not mean it will not work. Difficult yes but not impossible. Consider this: Imagine a girl who's soul and spirit are good but by the chance of birth in Thailand has had a poor education and for various reasons is forced into the bar/go-go scene. She meets a farang who doesn't want to break her heart and they click together. She has learnt the ropes and knows she must still earn money. She is now in conflict with her original good nature and the situation she is in now. If she had been born into a rich family she may have flown through university? She has the ability but not the chance. She gets on well with her farang and he discovers that she is also a smart cookie. So there is not a lot of difference mentally.....she can learn. This may be a romantic view of things but in a rather long winded way I am trying to say that given people of a similar soul/nature/brain things can work out from whatever backgroound and culture they come from. The words of 'Mr Privateye' are wise when he uses the phrase "They both want" i.e they are pulling in the same direction and want to be with one another. Somebody on this group said to me,"don't give up on love and it won't give up on you!" ÝMore wise words. I remember back in the early 1970's there was a popular poem written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann called 'Desiderata' remember it ?? Part of it went," Especially do not feign affection. .....Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass."
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:19 am on Jan. 7, 2003
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MrJoe
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Hermano,
'Desiderata' was actually written as a sermon rather than a poem; but even though I am not a religious man, it is my basic guide to life.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:31 am on Jan. 7, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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From the Alt.Usage.English FAQ: "Desiderata" was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945). In 1956, the rector of St. Paul's Church in Baltimore, Maryland, used the poem in a collection of mimeographed inspirational material for his congregation. Someone who subsequently printed it asserted that it was found in Old St. Paul's Church, dated 1692. The year 1692 was the founding date of the church and has nothing to do with the poem. See Fred D. Cavinder, "Desiderata", TWA Ambassador, Aug. 1973, pp. 14-15.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:44 am on Jan. 7, 2003
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MrJoe
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Thanks. In fact, I remember a bit more about it now, after reading your last post -- which is of course correct.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:51 am on Jan. 7, 2003
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Packripper
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Understand where you're coming from... but don't forget in the US, we're not all people of one class either. There's not a big issue of both families liking the prospective bride or groom or really caring if he/she is a doctor or waitress or stripper. Yes, there is in some circles... but opposites attract is often the norm in America. Here, opposites is often considered a societal no-no. A lot of failed marriages in America can just as likely have economic/class conflict type problems in the same way it's a big issue for Thai-Falang relationships.
Regarding bar girls and gogo girls... some are forced in... however I don't think that is the reality for most. These people are choosing to sell themselves instead of scratching to survive at 200 Baht a day wages and working their way up over time. It's called taking the easy (or so they think) way out.
Quote: from Hermanolobo on 11:19 pm on Jan. 7, 2003
But just think that in Britain now and in the US the chance of any marriage working is less than 50%. Thats on all class and cultural levels. Usually the Thai/farang match is not based from what I have seen on an equal and educational background. But this does not mean it will not work. Difficult yes but not impossible. Consider this: Imagine a girl who's soul and spirit are good but by the chance of birth in Thailand has had a poor education and for various reasons is forced into the bar/go-go scene.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 12:00 pm on Jan. 7, 2003
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nikko
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Packripper,
As the only person on the forum that I know of that comes close to being a native thai (not trying to insult you in any way by this comment but I seem to recall you may have grown up in the states), I'd be interested in what you think the thai view is of falangs marrying bg's or mp girls--probably the same as if someone married a prostitute in the states?. Also, specifically the guy's view that doing so is sure to make thai's not take you seriously, etc. (and whatever else he said, been a few days since I read the link). And I agree with you on your last point, certainly not the case all the time but I know or know of many girls who say that they went into the 'biz because it was "easy" money.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:16 pm on Jan. 7, 2003
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