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MrJoe
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Yes, I would. (Thanks Yurune).
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:44 am on Feb. 18, 2003
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BoomARang
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Arramsey - I hate to say this but #1, you're right, you were! ;)
But, I've got an even more stupid one for you. Is there any chance at all of you adopting her son one way or another? I could do it easily here without being married to our son's mother but Japan has family laws that would seem somewhat strange to most people.
I know adopting him may open up problems in and of itself but it would reinforce your third option. Beside that, I already know you would want to if given the chance or ability to do so. And, he wouldn't be treating you as if you were his father already if you weren't also treating him like your son. Kids don't usually attach to others that quickly.
I know it's a crazy idea but,,,,
On the other hand, there is a very good chance that her love and affection wouldn't be diverted. Does anyone know a race of women that can make so many people feel like they are their one and only love as Thai women can and do? I don't even think they have to fake it, although I think they can if need be.
And yet another thing, if you think she tore into you for suggesting she adopt, what do you think she is going to do when you try to tell her that she might neglect one of her own flesh and blood in favor of another? I know you wouldn't put it so bluntly but one way or another, you would have to in order to convince her that her son would suffer.
Be careful brother, questioning the love of a mother for her child may not be the best thing to do.
But, I do think that her son is part of the key. Maybe you can not adopt him but you could try to say that the two of you already have a child and then when she looks confused, point to her son and say, "there is our child."
That might lead the way to not only creating a tighter relationship between the three of you, if that is even possible, but also get her off the idea of having your son.
Or how about this, don't put it on her but instead put it on yourself. Instead of her possibly "neglecting" her first son, how about if you have a fear it might effect your relationship with her/your "first" son?
One last thing that I thought of. I don't have any children of my own, long story, and my girlfriend was always worred that since she had a hysterectomy years ago and that maybe I might want children in the future, so they could push me down the stairs when I'm confined to a wheelchair, that she was not good enough for me because she felt it her duty to provide me with children if I wanted them. It took me a long time to convince her that she needn't worry.
I know this doesn't directly apply in your case but I think there may be a small part inside her that thinks that she must have your child for the love to be complete. I can't know if there is anything to this but I offer it for you to think about to see if there could be anything to it.
In any event, I would tread VERY lightly when it comes to "questioning" the relationship between her and her son.
Again, I'm not suggesting you do any of these things. I'm only suggesting you to think about them and see if they maybe feel right and if so, work into it slowly.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:55 am on Feb. 18, 2003
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Arramsey
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Yurune & Mr. Joe ,
Many thanks for the thumbs up .
BoomARang ,
Wow ! Maybe you should become a full time consultant to all the love lorn members on this Forum !!
All your points make very good sense ( although some may not apply in my particular circumstance ) .
I intend to chew over them - and try one or two out , if my current strategy does not work .
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:09 am on Feb. 18, 2003
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BoomARang
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Arramasey - "( although some may not apply in my particular circumstance )"
Exactly!!!!!!
What most people forget, not just here but everywhere is that no one can tell you what to do because it is impossible for them to know your situation exactly. Only you can know it and even then, you may not see everything that is in front of you.
The only thing that anyone really can do is suggest various possibilities and let you try each suggestion on for size and see if any of them fit and give you a different way of looking at things or different options. If one or more does fit, cool, if not, no loss, there are always more.
"full time consultant"
Been there, done that, waste of time. No one listens. 
"try one or two out , if my current strategy does not work"
What, you are not going to do what I tell you!?!?!? Cool, no problem. ;)
All I know is that you have such a sweet situation going and if there is anything I can do to help you keep it as well as your keeping your wife and your "wife" happy, I'd gladly do it.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 10:50 am on Feb. 18, 2003
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Arramsey
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Quote: from BoomARang on 11:50 pm on Feb. 18, 2003.
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All I know is that you have such a sweet situation going and if there is anything I can do to help you keep it as well as your keeping your wife and your "wife" happy, I'd gladly do it.
BoomARang ,
You could not have spoken a truer word ! Yes , I realise that I really do have a very sweet deal going for me . But it is this very realisation that causes conflict in my mind :-
"Am I doing the right thing by my wife ? or am I justifying the situation just so that I can enjoy my sweet deal ?".
"Am I really thinking about 'Song' &'Nong' when I say they are emotionally dependent on me ? or am I just using that argument to hang on to my sweet deal ?".
Sometimes I feel that I am being terribly selfish and continuing with this situation just for my own satisfaction - but then I just cannot bring myself to break off with any one of the 3 .
The support and advice given by you and others on this thread has bolstered my confidence that I will find a solution that will allow me to continue enjoying my sweet deal .
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:03 am on Feb. 19, 2003
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PolePolisher
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Tough call.... why not ask your missus?
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:59 am on Feb. 19, 2003
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BoomARang
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PolePolisher - "I can resist everything except temptation"
Hmmmm. Interesting choice of handle and signature for someone to be giving advice.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:11 am on Feb. 19, 2003
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PolePolisher
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One could say I was tempted to offer my advice.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:23 pm on Feb. 19, 2003
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Arramsey
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Quote: from PolePolisher on 10:59 pm on Feb. 19, 2003
Tough call.... why not ask your missus?
PolePolisher ,
If you read my earlier posts on this thread you will see that that is exactly one of the options I am considering .
However , currently everyone is happy ( my wife , "Song" , "Nong" and me ) and any solution I decide on MUST maintain this "happy" balance .
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:45 pm on Feb. 19, 2003
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