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ringthebells
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maybe so, I hope they take it both with the right humour and/or a pinch of salt.
hey barney, you did a good "smegma" (copy/paste) for slojo.
chapeau.
rtb
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:18 am on Mar. 2, 2004
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Ballsburstin
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Guess I have to agree 100% with cyborg (and hzink's comments thereto), and disagree with The Machine here. Marriage is an uncertain prospect at best (as the stats tell over and over again) and the laws make sure the a man (especially in the U.S.) lives to regret it in the event of a divorce.
I think cyborg ought to protect the hell out of his assets. If his lady is genuine, she and he will have a happy and financially fruitful union. If not, they can part on reasonable terms.
The stats are against the success of this union, especially given the cultural and socioeconomic differences. Prudence is warranted. Of the many TGF experiences I've heard about here and elsewhere, I'd have to say that the one I have with my TGF seems pretty stable. But she and I are going through some bumps in the road at the moment, and you never know when cmore's proverbial "other shoe" will drop.
We all hope for the best, and I think the bro's on this forum truly respect the ladies they spend time with in LOS. But it doesn't mean that we are blind.
- Balls
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 8:47 am on Mar. 2, 2004
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cyborg
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Ok..so we have,I think, established that I am a wanna be slave master (according to The Machine) and I am (Considered by some) to be a prudent individual considering playing long odds with bringing a Thai wife to the US.
BTW, "YES, I do think that I would be doing a Thai woman a HUGE favor by giving her a life in the US that she can only currently dream of". As she may be able to do me a HUGE favor and give me the beautiful, spiritual, sensitive, loving wife that I have always dreamed of.
If she is disingenuous then she will still walk away with a healthy amount of money no matter what. If it simply doesn't work out due to best legitimate efforts failing then she will still walk away with a healthy amount of my money no matter what.
That said... can any of you bros that have been through this advise on strategies other than the generously shared info concerning LLC protection?
There is a lot more to this
For example:
Have her checked out by TPE. I emailed him last week and got no response so that may not be an option.
Meet her family members, especially the males. If they are dead beats then drop her cuz I will likely end up supporting them. Have a clearly defined understanding (If this is actually possible) of the level of support that can be expected from me for her extended family. My thinking on this is that she can send any money she wishes to her family that she earns in the US. Her money not mine. I will support her and put money away for the future to support her and I.
If I were looking for protection against her claiming abuse and getting total support from me as in the story a gentleman I know shared about his Russian import bride what is possible? I am thinking maybe....have a roomate who is objective and could testify that he/she saw no abuse in case this BS were to come up.
There must be other scams and BS these ladies pull. This is where experienced bros who are not too hurt could really open up and share their stories and we could all benefit from it.
Then there is the other side of this...
What strategies make it more likely that an imported Thai wife could become happy in the US?
A Thai lady that I know who has lived in boston for 25 years tells me to keep her away from other Thais in the US. At least for a while. She says that Thais talk all kinds of BS just to be talking. They stir up unnecessary crap for no frikkin reason. I guess BS and gossip is a major pastime for Thais.
So, maybe keeping her away from Thais for the first year or so would be beneficial.
I think everyone is so focussed on this asset protection aspect of this that the truly bigger subject of wanting to have a successful relationship is being forgotten.
How best to introduce her and assimilate her into US culture while making her comfortable,safe and happy is the true goal here.
This is a big challenge and I think you gentlemen are up to the task of giving some basic advice here.
BigDusa, If you were married once to a Thai before do you care to share any lessons learned or ideas or thoughts? I for one would love to hear anything you may have to say on this subject.
Anyone with experience please share lessons learned or miscellaneous thoughts of what worked or could have been handled better please.
Cyborg
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:18 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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ParadiseSeeker
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Tm and cyborg,
What's wrong with marrying a slave? I know lots of very happily married slaves. Hell of the people I know the slaves tend to be far more happily married than the 'nilla girls. Of course those guys worked like hell to know the girl better than she knows herself - and that ain't going to happen for dear cyborg here.
Cyborg - figure on giving some money to "your new family". They probably need help and you have the means to do it. Maybe you set up a trust for them that you donate to annually, or you set aside an amount to give them for holidays. Perhaps you visit a couple times a year and buy them something they need every time.
It sounds like you want to be helpful, but not break the bank. So figure out what amount is comfortable for you - put that in writing, and make everything else off limits.
Now assuming you'll take prudent steps to protect yourself - ask yourself: do you want to be thinking this seriously about someone you don't know well enough to be sure she doesn't want to milk you of every dime? Send enough time with her to figure out what her expectations are. Then you can evaluate better (and then be prudent anyway).
ps. how's the semi-conductor business going? I work on the other side of the keyboard so-to-speak.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 2:45 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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BigDUSA
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cyborg,
I've been married three times to good women. All American girls. I lived in Germany for three years, Vietnam for year and half and have visited Thailand 19 times in the last five years. I've had a couple of long stays in Thailand about two months.
I've dated a fair number of women from different cultures and they are all the same. Once you get married it's no longer up to you. The womens personality will start to assert itself. Just ask Krypto, he's living a nightmare. Some guys have the fantazy that Asian women are doormats and it's not true.
I'm not saying your looking for a doormat but why are you looking at Thai women for marriage? What age group are you looking for? Does education matter? What will you have to talk about with a women with a six grade education, who doesn't read newspapers? What effect will her being a working girl if she's a working girl have on your head?
One thing I've learned thru three marriages, it's all about commucating. It's not about sex or how good looking she is because looks fade, sex slows down. If you can't talk to her on a level your both comfortable with.......
How will you go about meeting a good Thai women as a short time vactioner? That's the tough part.
My dad gave me some good advice about women. Son, it takes at least a year maybe two to get to know a person. Many of us have our dating/finding a mate face that takes time to peel away before the real women shows up.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:45 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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invaderzim
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I have read your possible scenarios and I have discovered a 5th scenario:
She comes over tries hard to assimilate to the country shes great your both happy... but you cant just lay off the anal sex she gets fed up and cuts your cock off and feeds it to your pet dog :divorced and game over.
seriously Im in the same boat as you I can either get married or live comlpetely celebant except for my bi- yearly trips to thailand Im planning on brining her here to test her out but if I do get married im gonna get a prenup (no alimony mainly) im not having any kids so Im covered there in the prenup I'll include an option for her where I pay for her to go back to Thailand
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:18 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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MajorTom
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Thanks to all for continuing this thread! This is a lot of good food for thought to me. I am currently in the "email" part of a developing relationship. I have planned to visit my ETG "email Thai girlfriend" during the month of April to solidify things if possible. But I'm starting to realize her enthusiasm might not be just for meeting me. I planned this because I want a younger wife (me 43) to be at home to raise our family, that I don't have now. I don't have any kids and the clock is ticking. Most of the younger women here [SoCal] don't want an older guy and a family-type woman is even harder to find. I don't even care about looks...I think Thailand is the answer for me, but now I'm getting worried because now I'm starting to see the reality of the situation. Is a Khmer woman a safer option??? Does anyone marry for life anymore??? Have I missed the boat? [just kidding]
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:20 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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invaderzim
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I assume theres no way you can somehow keep a house if you buy it after marrige and both pay mortage payments on it ?
Man! is there any way you can bring a chick over here and not marry them? or marry them and then turn them into just your girlfriend?
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:22 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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Kryptonite
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Marry for money, you can find somebody to f_ck later. 
Krypto
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:23 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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cyborg
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Hey BigDusa,
You ask a lot of good questions. I am in fact NOT looking for a doormat. My TGF is far from that. She stands up to me routinely but in very appropriate ways that reinforce my beliefs that she is Legit.I want a woman that truly loves me and can appreciate me. Yes I want good sex and all that and I simply have a thing for cute brown babes.I think of Thais as being the cutest I have ever seen.
In fact if you have read my to previous FRs you will know that I am in fact engaged at this time to an American woman. A black woman to be precise. See I told you I like brown women.
I have been to LOS twice in the last 4 months. I met Sam on the first trip and made the second just to be with her some more. I have done some serious thinking and analyzing of her behaviour and intent. I have come to the conclusion that she is "Legit". I think she does care about me as much as one of these women can care about someone they have been with for a total of 16 days 24/7.
No I am not jumping into marriage with her at this point. In fact in emails I have made it clear to her that we need to learn a lot more about each other before we could ever think about moving towards marriage etc.
I am urging her to make learning English a priority if she wants to be with me. How can you really be with someone that does not really speak your language? I have explained to her that although we love each other we may not be compatible. Thus we need to talk better English than this pigeon English/Thai method we have been using. She has assured me that learning English is her new priority.
This will take her a while, this is buying me time. I have to think long and hard about whether or not I want to keep this fiance I have at home or eject and go for the longshot with Sam. Thus I am exploring the feasibility of this scenario with you bros.
I stated up front I realize it would be better to live in LOS to do this but it is no option for me. DUe to my work.
Education would be a plus but I do have an appreciation for "Less complicated women" I find them to be more appreciative of me and what I have to offer. They are like a refreshing breath of clean, fresh air. I find simpler women to be an "uncomplicating" element that fits well into my complicated life.
I imagine her being very interested in learning about the US and I think it would be a wondeful experience to teach her all about Wetern life as she teaches me about Eastern,Thai life. I think finding a spiritual mix/balance between the two could be amazing. I thin k the Thais and there lifestyle/attitude can teach us westerners a lot about really living in a more connected emotionally human way.
Her previous life would not bother me. I think if anything I have a bit of a hero fantasy and want to be her Falang in shining armor to sweep her off her feet and take her to paradise.
So I guess all of this is really just research into what is possible, likely and desireable. Do I keep my American fiance and actually go thru with getting married some day? Do I dump her for the long shot with what appears to be my dream girl? Even though I intellectually understand that once the honeymoon is over she will certainly be a lot less anxious to please and thus a bit less attractive overall, I still must explore the options associated with this fully.
Cyborg
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:30 pm on Mar. 2, 2004
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