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DaffyDuck
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Quote: from S M E G M A on 10:25 am on Feb. 28, 2008
Well, at the end it turned out as complicated as it began.
I had no doubts... 
Thanks for the update on this, though.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:19 pm on Feb. 27, 2008
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bkkz
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Quote: from S M E G M A on 10:25 am on Feb. 28, 2008
Ended up giving her some money many months later (after the sex) and it was in the form of me being supergenerous with a tip at her new place of work (she gave me a very strange look when I gave it to her).
When you want to reward or punish someone, do it right after the incident or else they will not be able to associate it with the incident in mind.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:32 pm on Feb. 27, 2008
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farangman4
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Dear S M E G M A,
Having read this thread through, it is clear to me that you are considered no fool by the majority of the people on this forum, many of whom apparently know you in real life. So it is with genuine humility that I post this thread, perplexed as I am both by your thinking and your behaviour, as well as the reluctance of almost everyone else to tell you what, I think, they would tell anyone else who posted a similar story.
You see, I think that you have fallen for the same mistake that the most green-eared newbie makes, namely that these girls are selling sex. And, from what I have seen, hardly any are (other than the most desperate street girls and ladyboys). Rather, they are selling whatever we, as punters, lack emotionally: I have *never* heard any say 'me love you longtime' - rather, it is 'hello hansum man' to the ugly, 'But I really like you' to the lonely, 'I am so desperately unhappy and you could help me' to those seeking for a meaning to their lives.
Don't get me wrong: I do not say this with a sneer, or from above, for I, too, struggle not to fall for it. For while they are selling emotional balm, bandages for our insecurities, being supporting actresses in our fantasies of rockstar lifestyles, we, most of us, are out there attempting to buy sex. That buying good sex, pure, debauched, and with NSA other than cash is so surprisingly hard in this city is shown by the number of people moaning about starfish, and the popularity of places like Eden, where people (myself included) are overjoyed to get really good sex, even if it is with women who are, to put it mildly, often not the best looking examples of asian womanhood.
Anyway, given all this: it seems to me that this girl is really not that much different from many of the rest, in that she sold you the hope of having sex with her, while never really delivering: a bit like a starfish (who, lets face it, are basically lying there wanting it to be all over, having sold you some sex but not really going through with it), but even MORE of a starfish than a starfish, because a starfish at least gets undressed!
And, turning to you now. Lets face facts: you were never, as far as I can see, looking for someone to be genuinely emotionally attached to - and why should you have been? You wanted a good time, and you didn't get it. Please correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this the case? So it is not really about you and your heart, more about you and your unfulfilled sexual desires. Again, don't get me wrong - we've all been there - I certainly have. Longing for a woman who won't let me have her, but only longing to f*** her....and then, sort of kidding myself that actually I feel more for her than that, when, if I am really honest with myself, it is a mixrure of wanting what I cannot have and, well, also male ego punctured, that is causing me such pain.
And this is where all these girls really want us: feeling inadequate without what they can give us, so we turn into ATMs, feeding them money, sponsoring them, maybe even marrying them. This girl just did it without actually having sex - again, showing that she is not just the same as someone who convinces a brother to sponsor her after a couple of weeks of GFE sex, but even more manipulative, as she managed to do it without giving you the sex!
And furthermore, forgive me if I am wrong, but you appear to me to have bought into the victim mentality of many people in this part of the world. They want something, and they deserve it, just because they want it. She wants the money, and is not prepared to work for it - earning it either by working in a normal job, or glass by glass doing karaoke, or by having sex for it, but by making someone else feel so guilty about her plight that he gives her money for - well, for what exactly? For nothing, it seems to me. To show he has a good heart, that it isn't about the money, that it is about the principle. Principle? Not about the money? Since when have those concepts been thai concepts, or concepts that bar girls even understand, let alone live by. She works in a bar. Her job is to separate you from your money using whatever means necessary. What principles do you imagine she has related to this give-me-money-for-spending-time-with-you transaction do you think she has?
I am not saying that one cannot have a genuine relationship with a bar girl: but at the very least, you'd expect her to be meeting you during her time off before starting to let yourself become emotionally involved.
So, in conclusion: I fully expect to be shot down for going against the consensus on this board, and if you are doing to so do, go ahead: but please do so bearing in mind that I do not mean the slightest bit of offense by merely stating what seems to me to be the case as I see it; and that I am very open to the idea that I've completely misunderstood what actually went on. Because, if you posted the story to say 'look, guys, even someone as experienced as I can lose his mind now and then', then all respect to you for doing so. But if you are saying 'look how I behaved wisely in a difficult situation' - well, by giving the money back, and rewarding her behaviour, I don't think you did at all, unless you mean that you didn't start shouting, or pick a fight with them, which would have been a very foolish thing to do. For, when the mamasan said 'you are getting more Thai', was that not really her saying 'you are accepting your training well', like a wife who neuters her husband day by day, getting him to accept his servitude and feel that he is actually doing the right thing by no longer going out with the boys? Was that *really* thai, what you did? Would a thai guy do that? I really don't think so.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:14 am on Feb. 28, 2008
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S M E G M A
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It makes sense what you say and I would agree with most of it -not all.
I think she wanted to sell her self for the long term. Basically looking for a sponsor and get on a long term relationship with a guy that she would also "like" a bit: typical Thai desires so far. But in going the way of choosing only one, and not selling herlself on a weekly or daily basis, she has to put the guy through an endurance test as a way to check that the guy will support her long time. This on the other hand for guys like us, if not in love with the girl becomes torture; yes, we want the girl and we want her now.
The theme of the OP ends up having little to do with what happens and is discussed towards the end.
At the end, for me it was more "let me finally get her, even though now I do not want her as much as years ago." And I guess for her it was more "I lost the ATM the first time, let me then try to get out as much as I can now."
About the mamasan comment, she basically meant that I was behaving less farang and more thai in terms of not showing the anger when upset.
I am with BK on this. Money should have been given at the time.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 5:44 am on Feb. 28, 2008
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