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Thai Traveler
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Well, I might not be a critic, but so far I have enjoyed what was written. Why don't we give bromad a go and let him post what he has, before we pass judgement. 
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:01 pm on July 28, 2003
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JHolmesJr
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ADVANCE PRAISE FOR BANGKOK SHUFFLE
Insiders at Random House have revealed that an undisclosed six figure advance was paid to self-proclaimed Bangkok groupie and enfant terrible Bromad72 for Bangkok Shuffle-- an epic skewed to the less erudite sections of Thailand's affluent P4P demographic. "This stuff will make Harry Potter turn into a newt and vanish in a cloud of batwings," says Oi Pitsanulok, the author's agent who can also be seen unveiling her best assets at The Carousel Bar in Nana Plaza. Below are some excerpts on initial feedback from literary circles both here and overseas.
"One can sense the existential angst of the writer as he strains to force out this monumental turd, bit by bit. "
--The Philadelphia Enquiree
"I could smell the fish sauce as i turned the pages. As authentic as the lovely ladies of Casanova."
--The Bard's Journal
"Him number 1. We like him, always pay bar take lady but no boom boom. We sit on bed, he type too much. We read 2 chapter already. It Awesome! "
-- Saa & Pom, Bar Beer Hemingway
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:45 am on July 29, 2003
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bromad72
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Why are you so angry JHJr?
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:27 am on July 29, 2003
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JHolmesJr
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Bromad72 thanks for letting me down so gently, I was expecting some truly purple prose a la your pithy pot-boiler. You know, my paycheck's not in yet, so I can't go whoring. Just wanted to open a can of whoopass on someone and you seemed like a good enough candidate. I'll just shuffle along now.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 3:49 am on July 29, 2003
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bromad72
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Well sir, and I use that term loosely, my apologies to you for the terrible attitude you seem to have acquired.
Never once did I say I was a pro writer, or ever say that this was anything other than for amusement. If you like it fine, if you don't fine.
But let me make this clear, this is a message board in cyber space, and a good thing it is. Because if it weren't your alligator mouth could get your canary ass in heaps of trouble.
I am done with you.
Too bad you left your manners in farangland.
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 3:57 am on July 29, 2003
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eyeswideopen
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* * * * * * * * * * * * *
THE BANGKOK SHUFFLE
By Tom Warren
edited by EWO
The sun over the Chao Phraya was hazy and blurred through the pollution. I watched it rise, flat on my back, as blood dripped into the canal...
Roger was an unassuming fellow, age forty, with thinning hair and forgotten ambitions. He had been married indifferently since high school. Roger worked for twenty years to provide for his wife. She was disappointed in the results. A three bedroom house full of knickknacks near Indianapolis, two cars and three televisions failed to satisfy her.
I had met Roger while I was managing a showclub in Indianapolis. He was an affable customer with a pleasant personality, but over the months he became moody and weepy as the drinking increased. The wife had finally left and Roger was taking it badly. She was so quick to be rid of him she offered to divide the assets evenly. She then refused to take his calls, disdaining even alimony checks.
Roger had gotten away clean, but it took him some months to realize that he was free.
Roger continued on with his career, lived inexpensively, and managed to squirrel away a nice bit. Alone and bored, he concentrated on his work as a salesman. Results followed. He advanced rapidly and collected larger commission checks.
Still, the ill feelings from his divorce dogged him for a long time. I actually worried about it. But one day he came into the club smiling and confident. The change was so dramatic I thought his wife came back to him and brought her twenty year old bisexual girlfriend.
“Hey Roger! How are you doing today?”
I caught his mood and grinned. Something was making him quite happy and I was glad to see it. I had grown to like Roger and was beginning to worry about him.
“I’m great, man! You have to see this!”
He reached inside his jacket and pulled out folded piece of paper.
“I found this on the internet. I am going to go, man. I wish I had known about this years ago!” he handed the paper to me with a broad grin.
It was an advertisement for one of those Thailand sex tours. Many photos of smiling little girls in day-glo bikinis and one snapshot of tuk-tuks stuck in Bangkok traffic.
I had spent my time in Bangkok when I should have been in college. The college fund was spent on a more worldly education than the classes offered by Indiana University. I instead spent many nights studying the action within the go-go bars pictured in Roger’s printout. Roger, bored with life, was now going to see something new for the first time in years.
“That looks great Roger! How long have you been planning this?” I said.
“I just saw it the other day at work. I thought - f*** this place, I'm going there! I booked a trip for a month!”
“A month?! Are you sure about that?” I said with some concern. A month might be too much cake for a starving man. I was concerned that Roger might run into some trouble.
“Come with me, Roger. I need to talk to you about this.”
We made the way to the office and I aired my concerns with Roger.
“Have you ever been out of the country, Roger?”
“I’ve been to Canada once!” he said with that same grin.
“Roger, you don’t have any idea. Canada is like USA light. Thailand is a whole different animal.” Now I was more concerned.
“It’s going to be great! The tour group takes care of everything.”
“I don’t think you understand. When are you going?”
“In three weeks! I’m so excited”
There wasn’t much I was going to be able to do. I dug through my address book and found the number of an expat buddy in Bangkok. We had kept in contact through e-mail and the occasional phone call. I knew he would help Roger find his way through the crooked streets of Bangkok. I gave him the number and directed him to some internet sites to read before his departure date.
“Don’t worry,” Roger chirped “The tour takes care of everything. What could happen?”
“Nothing and Everything, Roger.”
And with that we changed the tone of our conversation. I regaled Roger with stories of my adventures in the bawdy nightlife venues. I made it seem less fantastic and relayed some cautionary tales to lend perspective. I wanted him to understand the illusions waiting for him. He would soon find out for himself.
Roger continued planning his trip. He'd dash in to ask about small things; needed toiletries, appropriate clothing, and tips for looking sophisticated. He grew more excited as the day neared. I didn't blame him. Bangkok has a strange pull on people, and I began to feel it again myself.
On the day, Roger asked me to take him to the airport. In the car, I gave him a book by Jake Needham and one by Chris Moore to wrap up his crash course in Bargirl 101. Roger agreed to give me a call to let me know he was alright. I smiled and gave a final wave as he skipped through the sliding doors.
“Wake up!” I heard the voice on the other end of the phone. It was Roger. And from the thumping music and shrieks in the background, I could tell that he was enjoying Bangkok.
“Hey, Roger! How are you doing?”
“I feel like a rock star, Joey! This is the greatest time of my life! I’m never coming back!”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Roger. Just have a good time and come back in one piece.”
“I mean it Joey, I am never coming back!”
I knew exactly how he felt. During my stint in the Land of Smiles I had the same feelings. Bangkok is like a narcotic. It can make an average man feel like Superman, and a better man feel like a God. But there was always another side, when the money is gone and the party ends, things change fast. I hoped Roger could keep himself reasonably sane through the good times.
We talked several more times and he actually was shifting his plans to a long term stay. He had met my expat friend Charlie. Charlie was helping him arrange it. I hoped Roger would not get bitten so hard by the exotic life, but it was his life. Both Charlie and I gave him advice. If Roger was determined to do this, then all I could do was help him. Frankly, if I had the means when I was younger, I would have chosen the same path myself.
Roger kept in contact occasionally through e-mail. Charlie kept me updated also. Roger was exploring much of Thailand; he had been through Issan and across some of the southern islands, and Cambodia for visa runs. Eventually, the stories got to me and I made plans to visit him and Charlie in October. We continued to exchange e-mails as my departure date grew closer.
The e-mails stopped three weeks before my trip. This concerned me, as Roger had sent at least one a week. He sounded pretty busy for the last couple I got, but it still concerned me. Charlie was in Japan to investigate some ‘get rich quick ‘scheme so he couldn't check up Roger. For a man that seemed to have quite a grasp on the Asian way of life, his one weakness was these schemes.
My flight date had arrived. I never could stand flying, the only way I can do it is to drink myself into a stupor. It is probably not the healthiest way to cope with trans-continental air transportation, but it works for me. It makes the flights seem shorter and to be truthful, I could care less when I have a stomach full of beer.
I was glad to arrive at Don Muang Airport. I headed down the aisle and towards the departure stairs. The heat and smell are comforting. They bring back flashes of memories of accommodating Asian faces, bright lights and debauched nights.
Immigration in foreign countries is somewhat unusual when you don’t speak the language. Communication is limited to hand gestures and salutations. Thais and foreign visitors were gesticulating and repeating ‘hello’ in their native tongues. I wander through the vietnam era immigration desk and pick up my belongings at the baggage conveyor. I sprint through the doors and into one of the waiting taxis.
“Nana hotel.” I tell the cab driver. The place is smack in the tourist red light district and runs 24 hours a day. The driver hits the accelerator and off we go. This is where Roger was staying the last time I heard from him. It’s cheap and clean and extremely convenient for tourists of a certain age.
The heart of Bangkok - well kept, manicured gardens appended to elegant residences are directly adjacent to the tin roofed shacks squatting under the expressway. Half finished buildings are embarrassed to reveal their skeletons next to shining high-rise condominiums. Small children hawk flowers and gum in the middle of busy streets while Mercedes and BMWs hide their occupants behind tinted windows.
We arrive at the Nana Hotel very late in the evening. The driver pulls into the driveway, the crowd of bargirls and drunken sex tourists shift easily out of our way. At this time of night, the lobby of the Nana is something akin to a sex carnival, filled with tiny painted Thai women and staggering westerners. The chatter from the 24 hours restaurant and the throngs emanating from the hotel disco surround me as I make my way to the front desk. The staff is blase but efficient during the check in process. I take my bags in hand and head for my room. I drop the bags and take a quick shower. I am grateful to have a moment to clean away all the canned air and recycled exhale from the trip. After the shower I put on some fresh clothes and head into the Bangkok night.
f*** - sorry guys I got kinda bored toward the end. It probably needs an entire rewrite.
It was a dark and stormy night...
PS is it just me or is the forum getting more boring than anyone thought possible?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:40 am on July 29, 2003
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ringthebells
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sounds good so far...
rtb.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:02 am on July 29, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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Keep writing !!!
Show don't tell !!
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:21 am on July 29, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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Here's my spin on Le Carre:-
Subject: Espionage & the Bamboo Curtain
He remembered how his father had taught him
to pick up the 'drops' before he left the service.
Was it wise to follow the same career ?
Looking for the chalk line and the drawing pin.
A hollow in a tree or behind a brick in a wall
would lay the empty pack of Gauloises, always
Gauloises. Hooked by his father with an umbrella
he never seemed to open.An empty french cigarette
packet with a message to change the world. The
simple but effective system used by the spies of
the 'Cold War'. The curtain was no longer made
of 'Iron' but 'Bamboo'.
This drop a cliche, a fortune-cookie shoved into
a plastic 35mm film holder. An apt way to leave a
message considering the direction of the planet.
The unravelled scrap of paper indicated a bench
in a fashionable London park. Another 'amateur'
to spy-craft, he'd have to wear a red rose, the
symbol of his service.
A typical English summer evening after dark,
he wiped the raindrops off the park bench. The
recent rain had made every flower and blade of
grass sing with scent. He watched loving couples
kissing and strolling along the path, he sighed
for his lost love. Amongst the couples strode a
lone tourist dressed in a fashionable trenchcoat
and 'Kangol' beret. A deft movement and she joined
him, caring not for the wet seat.From the corner of
his eye he saw the china
doll exract a cigarette from a packet of Gauloises
Bleu slowly with her teeth. He wondered if she wore
anything except expensive perfume under her raincoat.
Lowering his head he pulled the rose on his lapel
towards his nostril and sniffed it.
"Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for
who is to say that one day it might turn into a
dragon!" The silent woman on a silent night had
spoken, she crossed her exquisite legs.
"There are more than 39 Steps along the Great Wall!"
he tried not to stare.
The China Doll raised an eyebrow, "There is a war
coming in the east, Taipei rules!"
ZHANG ZI YI had just entered the world of mirrors
that is Espionage.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:29 am on July 29, 2003
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