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issanking
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a few good points raised, but this is one bitter guy,
"i'm not happy I don'y want anyone to be"
another one bites the dust
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:12 am on Dec. 8, 2005
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Minder
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I had written this guy off as bitter, burnt and angry and was sick to death of his "bad whore" ranting but his summary at the end is worth getting to and includes probably one of the best "rules of thumb" I have read in relation to calculating sin sot for a normal girl.....
"Farang often wonder what they should pay for a normal girl of the same class as themselves. This is my advice to you. It is simple and reasonable. And it won’t cause you to sell out your pride and dignity. You fork out no more than what you would pay for the engagement ring and the wedding ring for a Western wife. "
(IMHO though a normal Thai girl will still expect you to buy her a small diamond "wedding" ring ) Enjoy.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:05 am on Dec. 30, 2005
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kenneth
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That pile of shit is definately written by some stupid, mug who has had his widdle heart broken by a smart Thai hooker and has decided to 'research' the subject and then written his own warped interpretation.
He is a loser and is willing to go public to prove it.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:42 am on Dec. 30, 2005
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cyborg
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Manowar, I am with you on this one.
I found the article to be very interesting. The whole point of the article was to address the issue that as a Falang you are not Thai and as such are not bound by their rules/customs. Why pay the Sin Sot when as a non Thai there will be no benfit to you?
Of course the other points of....dont marry a whore but if you do nobody should expect a dowry payment for her.....good common sense advice given the situation
I agree with what some others have said that they believe this writer was angry. I can see that but that doesnt mean what he writes is incorrect does it? Not having the resources to research this personally I cant help but wonder if there is any difference between BKK middle class practices and the Lao influenced Isaan practices? The writer did not address this point and this may be worth looking into. As Shark68 pointed out there are differences when dealing with the Lao influenced subculture of Isaan.
SO I have some thoughts...as a Falang dont our customs matter? I can understand being sensitive to their culture but mus t we abandon our own in the process? Many of us westerners find the idea abhorrent....cant some accomodation be made for that?
If we were to dig into the past for inspirations for our current customs it seems to me that in my culture it was common for the lady to come with a dowry payable to the man. Essentially payment to the man for taking a hungry mouth off the parents hands so to speak.
As a Falang dont we (Tongue in cheek guys) have as much right to ask her parents for money to take her off their hands?
OK so if we do decide to go totally Thai on this...how about this writers suggestion that the falang only pay as much as a Thai man would pay. If the lady is a BG that should be zero baht...right? What about the totally Thai custom of having the SS money RETURNED after the wedding at some point? Thai culture IS SOOOO important then ALL aspects of it should be adhered to rather than just conveniently picked ones.
Although he is obviously angry I think this write up has some very valid points made in it.
Cy
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:23 am on Feb. 9, 2006
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LocalYokul
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if the TG really loves you, and her parents are being unreasonable
she can just shack up with you, no dowry, no nothing
and yes, it happens
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:32 am on Feb. 9, 2006
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cyborg
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555 LY...the most pragmatic answer...
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:05 pm on Feb. 9, 2006
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sirtitus
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There are a few more things to Sin Soht than the author of that article wrote (and, yeah, the guy was completely angry and that will obviously bias him against Sin Soth... and Thai culture in general, I guess).
From my own research into Sin Soht, there seems to be a three-pronged reason for it.
1) You are buying your way into the woman's family.
2) You are compensating the woman's parents for their cost in bringing up the woman.
3) You are showing your own financial power as well as your love and respect for your woman by paying Sin Soht. The more you pay, the better social status (i.e., "face") the woman is given.
It is rather difficult to figure out how much is the proper amount of money to pay. All of these are a factor: the woman's educational and family background, her current job, her attractiveness, her racial background, if she has been married before (and/or has children), and her age.
So an older Isan BG who has been married before and has a few children can't command a large Sin Soht payment. Well, not from a Thai anyway. Lots of naive farang may pay through the nose for her though.
My 2 cents.
SirTitus
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 11:20 pm on Feb. 9, 2006
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Abrak
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A lot of people dont understand the concept of the Sin Soht and how it has been adapted in the BG/farang culture.
(1) In Thailand there are no satisfactory western divorce laws. Girls risk getting married and then being dumped penniless. The 'sin soht' solved this problem. The payment was made to the family, the family returned it to the bride and then the bride had a suitable 'cushion' if the guy moved onto pastures new.
(2) In western cultures you marry an 'individual' while in Asian cultures you marry a 'family'. In the West you believe it is your responsbility to look after the welfare of the girl. In Thailand the girl is marrying the guy not just for her benefit but also for the benefit of her extended family. This is often a major point of misunderstanding - farang whinges about constant requests to support extended family, BG thinks why would I marry this old fart if he wasnt going to support my family.
(3) In BG/farang culture they have adapted the Sin Soht somewhat to clear up this misunderstanding. Under Thai culture the 'sin soht' was a prepayment of sorts in the case of divorce. In BG/farang cuture the 'sin soht' is not returned to the girl as it is prepayment of sorts in case the farang doesnt fully understand his responsibility to support the BGs extended family.
The argument that the girl is a worthless toe rag and doesnt deserve a penny's 'sin soht' doesnt really hold much water with most of these families. Afterall they have already decided to effectively sell their daughter so they should rationally at least hold out out for the highest bidder. If you are not prepared to pay, they will normally be patient enough to wait until there is a punter who is.
There is always the 'face' issue of course. In a culture of selling your daughters like cattle, receiving nothing or next to nothing for your daughter doesnt make you or your daughter look too good.
For those brave guys willing to go down this rocky road the key thing to remember is this. A lot of your BG's own personal happiness will depend on the 'happiness' she brings to her 'extended family'. If you make them 'happy' (read provide fairly modest financial support) my guess is that there is some chance that BG will be happy.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:59 pm on Feb. 9, 2006
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