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cheapcharlie
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Quote: from cyborg on 1:04 am on Feb. 19, 2006
A sharp man recently suggested that if you were to simply give her and her family a single lump sum.....say B40,000.... and inform them that is all the money. That is the payment for the wedding/party and the Sin Sot. Would be funny to see how quickly the size of the wedding ceremony and party got pared down quickly.
Basically what I did, I offerered my wife 50k -here you go girl, im off to Soi Cowboy with the lads. She started at 25k and up to 250k, im not budging, thats the amount im paying. Dont wont ok loi. Remember though im already legally married to her and she got an arm full of gold already
Seems like a reasonable compromise. Let them choose how big of a ceremony/party they want vs SS. You are honoring their customs without being too cheap. Hell you are not rich they need to understand limits to begin with I would think.Best to not elevate their financial expectations of you for the future. There will be the ongoing support for her family etc. Ok but why give them the impression they can expect huge amounts from you??
This is very important setting the ground rules from the off. I dont and never will support Mom and Pop, totally accepted. I pay for a room in bangkok and take care of children. Money goes to thailand each month, I dont mind that just drink less. Compromising is ok.
If you can afford 300 k Sin Sot, and 500k for gold and a free piss up for the whole village, good for you. not good for the poor sod after you who can''t.Big deal for you later on though if you cannot keep this lifestyle going back in faranglang then problems they gonna come raining on down on your litle fairy tail. When I met my wife, I was loaded, single for years, just received an inherintence, she got the wrong idea. After I put the rest on an offshore account and started to live on my earnings well its a shock when you say no the first time I can tell you.
Of course the amount would vary depending on the circumstances but in essence you let them choose what is most important to them.
Someone has to make grown up desicions, who do ya think its gonna be. My wife wanted to blow 250k on a wedding ceremony, she also wants a room 250k where her family live. I gave her a choice she choose the room, and the wedding deal gets slimmed down.
Where children are involved, if the money is not growing on trees, well.My wife expects to go to thailand every year, she does, many friends had big weddings but stay in farang land 3yrs before a trip up country. Choices have to be made, and especially in thailand lessons taught about the value of money.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:38 am on Feb. 18, 2006
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Ballsburstin
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I think the value fo setting expectations early is very important, as it does have long term consequences. When I started supporting my TGF through school and apartment several years ago, I asked her to figure out what she thought was a reasonable budget. She wasn't sure how to do it, so I showed her a small spreadsheet with items for major and minor expenses, and asked her to fill in the blanks ("Thai ladee haff to do makeup, you know, teelakja!").
Well, the number we agreed on hasn't changed since, and the balance of where the money goes is not my problem. If she comes up short at the end of the month, she just has to scrimp. This also has sent a pretty clear message upcountry just what the limits are. I've said "no" on more than one occassion for extra money requests, because budgeting is important and an important exercise in reality. Can't live beyond means, and as was said in this thread, "grownups are going to have to make decisions about money."
This all reflects back on you when/if it comes time to talk about sin sot, as the expectations have been set. I think everyone has a different take on how much (if any) is enough.
- Balls
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:31 am on Feb. 18, 2006
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cheapcharlie
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ok, something going down right now, where im getting the blow by blow account, thai and Sin Sot
My wifes second daughter is 17 she lives in bangkok (close to Soi Cowboy) she just popped the second sprog, the first when she was 15 ?
she was virgin material 100% (i remember her in her school uniform and this bloke sniffing round), they stay in a room my wife pays for (with my money ) and pay min amount gas etc, he is motorycle guy odd jobs makes 8 k a month.
My wife is still fighting to get 50 k + gold Sin Sot from this guy for a virgin, everyone is saying leave them alone they no have money, but still she has a telephone that cost 5000 baht. My wife put a tv and everything inside, she told her daughter this week this guy only brought his dick.
I've told her enough times how to handle it. So this is 50k for a 15 yr old virgin and its still not been paid.
This seems the going rate, up country it must be less.
Why do falang have to pay 300k for used goods, would you pay more for a used car, I dont think so.Just because we earn more, even that depends case by case. But many thai have put us conveniently up in the millionaire status, even though falang beggers are not uncommon these days.
Then again we are all rich and up to get shafted right.
As stated before if Sin Sot is paid, I wont see any of it
the general reasoning from him is mum is married to a falang she dont need it.Only tradition is on her side.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:42 pm on Feb. 19, 2006
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LocalYokul
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Quote: from cheapcharlie on 3:30 am on Feb. 20, 2006
Then again we are all rich and up to get shafted right.
yep, that's how they see it
reasoning from him is mum is married to a falang she dont need it
another thing that grates on me
these two statements are just too true
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 4:02 pm on Feb. 19, 2006
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sirtitus
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Speaking of 15 year old virgins, my wife's youngest sister recently got married. She's actually 16 but close enough, right? Still ridiculously young to be getting married.
Her new husband is some uneducated, untalented 21 year old laborer who makes around 6000 or 7000 baht a month.
And the sin soht? It was originally set at 20,000 baht but the guy didn't have 20,000 baht (small wonder considering the money he makes) so he paid 10,000 baht. Mom and Dad weren't too happy about that but they weren't about to turn it down. So sin soht was paid and the sister got married.
And the two of them promptly decided to move into MY apartment! One night when I came home from work, there the two of them were... camped out for the long haul. Luckily my wife was out of town (hence no "greng jai") so I was free to tell them to get the f*** out. Which I did.
"If you old enough to get married, you are old enough to find your own place to live. Get out."
And they never came back. Might sound cold-hearted of me but I had to put my foot down at the beginning. If I didn't, I'd never be able to get rid of them.
Cheers,
SirTitus
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:25 pm on Feb. 19, 2006
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seajohn
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Could've let 'em stay for the night as long as young sis sleeps in your room...... Now THAT might have been cold hearted.... Or now that I think of it, warm hearted?
Anyway, she's better off with you as your maid if you could afford it. Doubt if your wife could agree though.
It's possibly cruel to be so hard with these peasants--it's just so many times I've seen a guy like you've mentioned cutting the scene after he knocks his child-bride up. He has no job, no future, at 21yrs old has no mind, no responsibility and within a year they will have created a little life that will have no papa.
Anyway, you're right. Most of the inlaws from upcountry feel wonderful leeching off the foreign guest (however much a part of the family one thinks he is) whenever they can. Yes, you have to set the rules from the start. Example, If my girlfriend wants to loan some of her money (that I'd already given her) to one of her sisters that's her business. I know they'll never pay her back--and that's better than them never paying me back. If I want to give gifts, OK, fine. But the loans etc: None Shall Pass.
Now will you guys please stop writing about teenage virgins getting laid by these nincompoops?!
 555
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:28 pm on Feb. 19, 2006
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sirtitus
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Seajohn,
You mentioned that the new husband will probably cut the scene after he knocks up her child-bride. I couldn't agree more. That's why I think that mom and dad were ok to take the 10,000 baht from him. In a few years, young sis will become legal and, after the current husband runs for the hills, she'll be available again.
Another marriage. Another dowry. Though for next time, I'm guessing that everyone will be whispering "farang, farang" in her ear.
Cheers,
SirTitus
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:52 am on Feb. 20, 2006
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cheapcharlie
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my wifes daughter has been checking with his family, of course they are all against paying anything - the reason given he has no money and two babys.
The real reason is they know her mom is married to a falang so they are taking the piss.
Sin Sot is now doen to 9990 baht and some gold, how the mighty fall.
Oh and she sees the solution go work bar, so another generation is born. Probably meet some poor falang who will have to bring up the poor kids.
The idiot in question probably has to go in the army after songkran, and you know thai men, when the going gets tough, he get going.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:05 am on Feb. 20, 2006
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