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Debaucher
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Quote....................."And if a drunk farangs lips are moving it is NOT going to be BS? "
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Maybe this sentence could have been written without the word 'drunk', for its inclusion casts too many dispersions on honourable, straight-talking,honest guys from the West and also gives the impression that BS is only emitted from the mouths of falang who happen to be drunk. This, may not be strictly true.
There have been some excellent posts here and I know the thread is about sponsorship, but the element of trust and the aspect of how much each party knows of the other is crucial to its progress.
There must be a lot of girls either in the p4P industry or completely outside of it who string along a bloke or blokes for various reasons, not only income. And there must be a lot of girls who are either in or outside of the P4P industry who don't.
And there must be a lot of guys who come here to Thailand either as visitors or expats who indulge or not in the P4P sector who string along a lady or ladies for a variety of reasons, not only sex. And a lot of guys who don't
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I knew a guy who came to Thailand on a number of occasions who had got seriously acquainted with a Thai lady. She was a really good girl, with a job in an international company, no boyfriend or ex-husband, no children and a gentle and loving personality. Unfortunately the guy began listening to the stereo-typical impressions of Thai ladies and like Othello had his mind poisoned against her. He destroyed the relationship and returned to the West.
She was destraught with pain, shock and hurt and began to lose everything, since she had been known to have consorted with a falang whilst still operating and living at her level of society and had now lost him. She was rejected.
She now works in the P4P industry.
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I cannot remember whether I was in the middle of anally plugging someone at Tulips, or negotiating a four-some with three Beer garden girls and trying to complete the arrangement before having to pick up my new girl-friend from last week, but I was feeling very unsettled.
I don't know if it had anything to do with my wife of 5 years telephoning me from the hotel to tell me that she missed me or whether it was just a seeking of reassurance on my part that the people in my life are good and trustworthy, but I could not help returning to the torturous thoughts of whether my Korat flame of two years standing was really being faithful to me or not, since she had not been able to come to Bangkok to meet me this time. And so, of course, how could I trust her, being so far away from her for months at a time ?
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Quote from SMEGMA..........Laser can remove tattoes....
Well I know a girl who had a tattoo removed from her thigh about six months ago and instead of the flower that it was, is now a black crater of scar tissue that looks like it will never heal.
My apologies for bringing the level of the discussion down a bit.
Carry on, please.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:47 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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LiamOZ
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Minder,
Excellent post providing a BG perspective.
As I said I have known my girl nearly 3 years, and I think it took some time for her to trust me. I have never broken my word to her.
Many farangs had lied to her, misled her, and of course she did have some good & favourite customers & some customers who ceased to be customers & became her friends, but trust them, I think not.
FWIW she told me on of her first customers broke her heart. A reasonably young bloke took her on holiday for three months just after she left her straight job & started in bar. In the end he was honest with her, but during those three months let her fall for him.
I value her trust. This is why I don't make promises I may eventually dishonour. It is exactly why she still works.
Now the question is, if / when I come through from my side, will she be 100% mine as she is currently indicating. Although money plays a major part, it is more about firm commitments in my view.
Cheers,
Liam
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 10:53 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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China Sailor
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Interesting perspectives.
However, I do not think popular methods of sponsorship are the answer. Even if the girl quits the industry and moves home; she is, as Minder pointed out, still dependent on the sponsor's money. If the money stops then the girl is back in the industry.
For the sponsor that just wants to boost his ego by having an exclusive arrangement with a BG, this arrangement (as unfair as it may be) might work. Just realize that the highway goes both directions and insincerity on the Punter's part will probably be reciprocated with insincerity on the BG's part.
For the sponsor that claims altruistic reasons for his sponsorship, just sending money is the worst thing to do. It is in effect a form of 'Social Welfare' that makes the recipient dependent on the provider. This is far from altruistic in nature.
A truly altruistic sponsorship program would be to use the sponsorship money to provide a means for the BG to support herself. A farm, job training, a business, or a hook-up for a job in a local firm will break the cycle of dependency and free the BG from the industry.
For example, a potential sponsor could approach a local firm that he does business with and offer to subsidize a position for his BG with the understanding that the BG will receive meaningful training and work experience.
There are many other ways that a sponsor could provide an effective form of sponsorship that will promote the independence of the BG in leiu of simply changing the state of her dependency...
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:36 am on Dec. 1, 2006
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Ballsburstin
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CS,
agree 100% with your last post. My own personal experience with my TGF underscores your points. I told her flat out from the beginning, "If you want to work, work, but if you want to stay with me, then you are going to have to do something more with your life. Up to you." So 5 years later she has a G.E.D., computer skills, accounting skills, and culinary skills (she does the books/supply chain mgmt and waitresses for the restaurant at which she now works). I think if she had her druthers she'd rather be on the dole and not working, as she equates that with a hi-so lifestyle. But that wouldn't work for me.
I agree with other comments here, it's about expectations up front. And understanding that the Western romantic model isn't the one the ladies in LOS are operating under. The old cliche "it is what it is" really applies here. Take it for what it is, not for what it isn't.
I was chatting last night by video Skype with my TGF, and she reminded me we were coming up on our 6 year anniversary. I corrected her and told her it was our 5th. "Five long, hard years!" I joked. She replied by teasing me with "You know honeyja, I think the reason we stay together long time because we not stay with each other everyday." I could see the coy, baiting smile on her face as she said this.
I got a chuckle at that and said, "Yes, I think maybe we kill each other by now if we stay together everyday!" We both laughed, so maybe a sense of humor and a good dose of "mai bpen rai" helps too.
There has to be a sense of ownership on both sides about what the money is for. Then there will be a reasonable amount of mutual respect for the whole process. My TGF is very thrifty, and hates wasting money. So she is in the process of scouting out a new apartment in BKK, targeting something that costs half of what we pay now. She figures if I'm not there at the moment, why waste the money. Her comment: "I not need to live like farang, I Thai you know!" I told her to do what she thinks is right, and it'll be fine by me. Her feeling is with a cheaper apartment, I can lower the amount of money I send every month a bit more.
Can't really argue with that.
- Balls
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 9:29 am on Dec. 1, 2006
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bkkz
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Quote: from China Sailor on 11:00 pm on Dec. 1, 2006
However, I do not think popular methods of sponsorship are the answer. Even if the girl quits the industry and moves home; she is, as Minder pointed out, still dependent on the sponsor's money. If the money stops then the girl is back in the industry.
CS
You are on the right track here. Simply sending money to a girl is just offering her a temporary alternative source of income. Her source of income could easily disappear the moment you find a new girl or if you had a serious argument with her. This would certainly not provide the kind of security for her. Additionally, without a new activity, she could easily stray back to her circle of friends who will help her spend that money that you have given her. She would be bored and would definitely find forms of entertainment to kill the time, which will include other guys as well.
What one needs to do is to also provide her with a method of earning money other than selling her body. She needs to learn skills (if necessary) to earn the new income. This will undoubtedly take time and in fact more money that one would be willing to part initially, but in the long run, she will not only gain self esteem and respect for you. You will need to discuss with her and find out what she would like to do, and find out what her monthly requirements are. Make sure that whatever business venture you choose, that it can sustain her in the long term. If not, she will definitely look for alternatives!
Work out a plan with her, and teach her as well. You will definitely need to invest not just money, but lots of time and patience. Remember, these girls certainly do not have the knowledge or skill, if they did, they wouldn’t have needed to do what they did in the first place. So, it’s not just dumping a lump sum of cash and expecting her to work miracles, but show her how she needs to use that money. Of course it will take commitment from both of you. If she is not committed to this venture, it doomed to fail from the start.
I have seen silly guys dumping a lump sum, and expecting the girl to take care of herself, well guess what, she spends it all or waste it on some silly project, loses the money and is back to square one. Or there have been cases of boyfriends who give insufficient amounts, and when she can’t get enough from that venture, he doesn’t want to provide additional help since he feels that he has given enough, and guess what, she goes out and does what she knows best to fill the gap in income, i.e. Selling herself again. So, it is important that whatever venture the girl chooses, that it can support her sufficiently, if not you just need to adjust the expectations or try another project that works better. Additionally, she needs to know that she is not left alone if she gets into trouble, she needs your continuous support. And yes, I have seen success in this.
She could take the initial investment as a loan, and with the surplus income she makes she could return your loan over an agreed period. Just make sure that she has enough to live on first before you extract any returns on your loan.
Basically, you need to help her change her mindset, and to show her other ways of making money, and to demonstrate to her that she can do it on her own, which leads to independence on your money. Of course, it could cut both ways, she could ultimately be so independent that she could dump you, but my guess is that she would respect and love you even more.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:57 pm on Dec. 1, 2006
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Ballsburstin
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BK,
All good points. And spot on about it taking time, in addition to money. When my TGF went back to school, she had her 6 years (pattom) certificate, and had nearly finished grade 9, but had dropped out of school when her family fell on hard times (her family had a farm that was inundated by one of the reservoir/dam projects. They were never adequately compensated by the government, so they effectively lost everything).
So when she went back to school she had to redo grades 7,8,9 then 10,11,12. The 1st 3 year mattayom chunk she did at a weekend school, with the usual shitty instruction and the teacher handing the students bootlegged copies of the standard tests they were to take for the certificate. I told her that was bullshit, that she needed to try to learn stuff even if they were effectively willing to cheat her out of an education. She took my advice, and passed the first chunk okay.
By the time she got to the mattayom 10,11,12 chunk, Thaksin had completely restructured the reqs in an attempt to bring them more in line with international norms. So she really had to study algebra, science (geology, biology, electrical theory, physics, etc.), history, and so on. Much of this was over her head, at least in the sciences and math. So I bought her some illustrated books I found at the National Historical Museum down by the Chao Praya. One was on sciences, the other on the universe. The books were in Thai and had great illustrations of scientific concepts. She ended up taking them to class. The teacher liked them, and used them in class to illustrate a few things.
But it was apparent to me that by herself, without some tutoring, she wasn't going to make it. By then I was doing 6 month hardship postings in BKK, and was able to answer her questions and help her in realtime. She passed everything and got her mattayom certificate (G.E.D.). This was a big time and money commitment from both of us. And it's indicative of what one might have to do if you toss your sponsored TGF back into the notoriously shitty LOS school system. It worked, and gave her the confidence to go on and take computer courses, book keeping, and culinary school.
I think she would still go back to her previous lifestyle if we parted company, not because she sees it as a big draw with lots of fun, but because now that she has a "real" job, she's beginning to see just how shitty working for a living really is. Much better to snag another farang via a short and targeted P4P stint, then get a minor non-P4P gig, and live happily ever after with her new found farang. That's the theory, anyway.
- Balls
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 3:46 pm on Dec. 1, 2006
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bimmher
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I think the last few pages of this post should be required reading before anyone starts to sponsor a girl.
Very well done guys 
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:03 pm on Dec. 1, 2006
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Skip
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Quote: from Ballsburstin on 6:10 am on Dec. 2, 2006
...now that she has a "real" job, she's beginning to see just how shitty working for a living really is. Much better to snag another farang via a short and targeted P4P stint, then get a minor non-P4P gig,
Amen to that!
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:19 am on Dec. 2, 2006
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zipster500
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""I cannot remember whether I was in the middle of anally plugging someone at Tulips, or negotiating a four-some with three Beer garden girls and trying to complete the arrangement before having to pick up my new girl-friend from last week, but I was feeling very unsettled.
I don't know if it had anything to do with my wife of 5 years telephoning me from the hotel to tell me that she missed me or whether it was just a seeking of reassurance on my part that the people in my life are good and trustworthy, but I could not help returning to the torturous thoughts of whether my Korat flame of two years standing was really being faithful to me or not, since she had not been able to come to Bangkok to meet me this time. And so, of course, how could I trust her, being so far away from her for months at a time ?""
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Debaucher, that's about the funniest thing I have ever read on this forum, probably because it rings true!!!
But really, haven't you seen the HBO series"Big Love" about a guy with three wives? So three is okay, my farang lady, my long term love, (for now), and then something extra??
Seriously, for me, the comments on not just giving a whole lump sum seem very apppropriate. In my case, my girl had a sponsor, lost him,was finishing up beauty school and would start a job therafter, or that was the plan.
I though that by giving her 15k a month for a few months to finish school and then maybe 4 or 5k after that to "top up" her wages, I would be helping this girl out, get a better life, feel good bout myself (why not?), get her out of working in bar...
Well, it just doesn't work out that way, at least for me, she never really asked for sponsorship, I think she is still going to school, it will be interesting to see if she gets a job, but clearly she is seeing other guys which I am trying hard to accept.
I think there are feelings there, who can say if its love? When I come to bkk, she is always way too jealous about the fact that my wife comes too, and I have to go back to her late at night, she has actually said maybe we should break up, she can't take the thought of me with my wife,and hen later she has started talking about having a baby together!!!!
Maybe its love, or maybe she's crazy!!!
Truth is I am not evn sure if she would be faithul if I lived in Bankok and stayed with her half the time...just trying to be realistic about the situation, and steel myself for a less than ideal ending...
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:59 am on Dec. 3, 2006
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don5252
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maybe I missed it in your other posts, you've been servicing these girls with your wife in BKK too? WOW
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:36 am on Dec. 3, 2006
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