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Tsonoqua
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To quote Arcadius:
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I think TPE's story is very interesting. He falls for this girl Mae, instals her as his live-in lover, but then tires of her after 'a month or two'. I suspect that many of the BGs we fall for might also become tiresome if we had to live with them for any length of time. Most tourists are with their BGs for a couple of weeks at most, and the relationship is brutally cut short when enchantment is still at full flood. That's why the separation hurts like buggery. If they'd carried on for two months, the magic might well have started to wear off. Passion doesn't always mutate into something quieter but deeper - sometimes it just evaporates.
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I think that Arcadius has hit upon a common characteristic of any human relationship. ÝMen, and women, are easily wowed by superficial aspects of a prospective partner, but then are unable to make the jump to a deeper relationship, when they look more closely at their selection. Ý Hence the +50% divorce rate in the US.
I have always felt that in the initial stages of a relationship, both people tend to hide their "true" personalities, only allowing the most positive aspects of their psyches to emerge during initial courtship. ÝDepending on variables, such as acting ability and intelligence, a person can only hide their true personality for about six months. ÝBy that time, the initial burst of passion has subsided and people are looking more logically at their relationship. Ý
However, if, as Arcadius stated, the passionate part of their relationship is interrupted, it not only hurts, but people tend to inappropriately fixate on their separated partner. ÝI speak from experience on this matter, and it's one reason I continue to return to LOS.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:38 am on May 25, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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Tsonoqua-
Exactly my feelings about the subject !
I've been married twice and your posting is accurate with my experiences. I told a friend that I'll stay in Europe and enjoy the fantasy when in LOS. He was complaining that now he had a long term relationship in Europe and all the sex he wants he was losing interest in sex !!!
I said now you know what it feels like to be married. So I'd rather go without in Europe and indulge in LOS.
Unfortunately there is always a girl or two I fall for. Then one game stops and another one begins. I am not sure which of the two I prefer? (1) Free and easy? (2) Being in love? I think No.1 can be more fun but less fulfilling?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:37 pm on May 25, 2003
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Skywalker
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Some great posts on this topic. ÝI would say however that tpe's story could be relevant to anyone anywhere in the world and would not be a unique asian BG experience.But fascinating none the less.
As for +50 % divorce rate in the USA, whilst I agree with most of your points Tsonoqua, I think that though being more selective over a longer period may hold some wisdom, Ýmuch of that rather saddening statistic is a deeper vain of a very sick society than the simple adage of just getting to know someone better.
Still some great honesty pervade here and interesting reads thanks guys!
S.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:12 pm on May 25, 2003
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BigDUSA
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Most divorce occur within the first 2 years after that % of marriage failure falls like a rock.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:16 pm on May 25, 2003
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Hermanolobo
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The Swiss psychologist C G Jung would talk a lot about Introvert vs. Extrovert. Often an Extrovert would marry an Introvert because they saw in that person the very qualities they believe they lacked. And Vice Versa. This would work for 18 months or so and the two would then seperate. The introvert wishing to keep company with the introverts and do introverted things. Like wise for the extrovert wishing to stay in that camp.
Myself I have always been too quick off the draw because the women provided a need at that time. I should definitely taken at least 18 months to make a decision. But thats me, too romantic by half!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:30 pm on May 25, 2003
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craigoz
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Arc,
It wasn't a criticism of any sort, merely a question or for that matter more statement of my experience and attitude. Tried once a failed, as issues such a 1 & 3 creept into the relationship over time.
Whilst I do realize that there is no "one single reason" for why many of the relationships never progressing beyond the first and or possibly second encounter, I have found from number of conversations with expats (similar to me 40+ and divorced at least once) that an emotional wall is always there to some degree.
This of course, making it very difficult for the relationship to get a solid foundation. Hence my suggestion that (a) rates about 75% and that the relationship tends to hover/stay in the "Lust" mode, instead of progressing to "Love or Mutual Partnership" phase, regardless of the girls social position.
Secondy (C) Time, always a factor.
Put the two together (a) & (c) and I believe one ends up with a powerfull arguement for not wanting to go the distance with her.
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:32 pm on May 25, 2003
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thaiprivateeye
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Certainly being here long term, understanding Thais and the customs to some extent, does make a successful long term realtionship much more probable ; In my case, now have wife/baby - agin my TG from a dubious background, but nonetheless street smart and with plenty of character, and also understood she was heading nowhere, which was probably the same for me -Admitedley it took a pregnancy to really make our association binding, and owing to the fact we were lucky enough to produce a real great daughter, it is she, that has become a very strong, and I would think lifelong bond, between my TG and I.
As of course Thais have a particularly strong love of children, and - as discussed elsewhere, "Luk-Krungs" [Child of thai/Western parentage] are particularly adored here, any Guy looking at a marriage to a Thai girl, should aslo be aware that having a baby with him, [ also covered elsewhere] is something probably to the forefront of her mind, along with the fact he can possibly offer her security not easily found amongst Thai guys of a similar background -
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 2:32 am on May 26, 2003
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kev29ie
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Having read through thios post (about 2 hours work time wasted, but very well spent if it was leisure time) I want to ad my few cents worth.
First of all Vinny - Is there any news re your friend?
Secondly - Many of the brothers here (not all but many - myself included) have had rocky/unworkable relationships/marriages with womnen of our own culture, language and so on. At any tmie relationships are difficult and require a lot of work and toing and froing.
It is more difficukt again when culture and language present new barriers - but this doesnt mean it is too much to try.
It is so difficulkt to find lasting love in this imperfect world that I have decided I need to take it where I find it - whether that is in the smile of my 4 yr old daughter, my good friends that have stood by me throughout a rough time and maybe at some stage that i can feel good about myself again.
To those who find love in TG's (pro or non) I say if it makes sense for you, grab it with both hands
Work like you dont need to
Dance like no-one is watching
and love as though you have never been hurt
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:01 am on May 26, 2003
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