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seajohn
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LiamOz, I feel like your post is in some ways rational, and I feel like you are pretty relaxed about your situation, however it does raise some questions, if you don't mind.
Quote: from LiamOZ on 6:20 am on Nov. 30, 2006
*she insists I am only 'boyfriend', "only you have my heart"....I guess this is my only vulnerability, because I care about this one a lot.
So, Is this sponsorship?
Well, you're certainly a donor. But you're more aware of its complications now than before when your "naive friend" (you were probably more naive to go along with it) arranged (for you?? why?) the whole affair.
Vulnerability is not a crime or else we're all criminals..... But there is danger in it. 'I care about this one a lot.' You have put yourself in a very vulnerable situation if that is true.
'she insists...' Well, what do you think she would have insisted with that high paying 3 week customer to make him happy? What do you think she insists with other sponsors or customers she may have? I don't know. You don't either. You know her. But all that's happened, as I see it, in your story is that you're giving less money so she lies to you a little less about the reality of her working.
LiamOz, I'm not trying to criticize you. I certainly do not hold the keys to harmonious relationships, not do I understand every kind of love. However, the thread is about sponsorship, which I'm trying to analize, so please don't take this personally.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:31 pm on Nov. 29, 2006
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LiamOZ
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Seajohn,
I appreciate your comments, & I take them contsructively & in the spirit of guys cautioning other guys. In a way I am trying analyse my own situation a little more, cause it is new ground for me...you know, just what do I really accept, and just what I don't....kind of setting some ground rules that don't promote lies & deceit.
I think donor is definitely a better description for someone like me. There is no point in thinking I own her, control her etc, not while her monetary needs & plans exist.
I have been through the phases ie: customer; lover; mild white knight syndrome; posessive/jealous; quiet resentment; rationalising; accepting the situation.
Yes I am vulnerable emotionally, its somehat unavoidable, but I do 'steel' myself for betrayal if it happens. At the moment she makes me happy & she is happy when we are a couple.
Since I accept most else (but would prefer otherwise), what would upset me is if she had no love for me at all, or if she tried to scam me.
Frankly, I don't care who else she tells she loves as long as its just GFE BS, and she is not BSing me...they really are great actresses, our TGs. So, there is not much really to lie about to me.
I will follow thread with interest,
Cheers,
Liam
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 8:10 pm on Nov. 29, 2006
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zipster500
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LiamOz, your story strikes a familiar chord with me. I have seen my girl about 8 times a year for about 3 years, and I really do care about her a lot. I had never thought about sponsoring anyone before her.
Why did I consider it? Probably the white night syndrome more than anything else, give her a chance to stop working in bar and start a different life. I never even got a chance to make first payment, she told me pretty soon after my last trip that she can't sit around pining for me, and she will be with other guys...for the money? who knows,but I am sure it is more than that...
Actually, her candor is refreshing...she could have kept me in the dark at least for a while. She has asked for very little since I have known her, I think I will help her out occasionally as she needs-asks. Also,not like I have ben faithful to her when I come to LOS. And as she says farang are unstable,statements of undying love can quickly evaporate.Like you said,I don't care if she gives other guys the GFE BS, actually I am sure she has love or at least strong feelngs for another,as long as she truly cares for me.
But that's the question : is it really love or just superior customer service? I tell myself its the later while I hope its the former. Not sure I'll ever know...........maybe that's okay.....
Cheers
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:50 pm on Nov. 29, 2006
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seajohn
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Glad to have the dialogue with you, LO. So if you don't mind, I'll continue with my gentle queries.
Quote: from LiamOZ on 10:34 am on Nov. 30, 2006
I don't care who else she tells she loves as long as its just GFE BS, and she is not BSing me
I don't see the difference. I guess it's just a subjective faith you have that even though everything she does or says is the same with the others, somehow with you it's different. Is that accurate?
I think zipster just above expanded on your comment above well when he said that he is sure she loves others as much as she loves him, just so long as she loves him too. Would that work for you? Or is it the idea that something is qualitatively different?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 12:00 am on Nov. 30, 2006
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jack attack
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There is a quote from the book "Confessions of a Bangkok Private Eye" that says "If a TG lips are moving, she is lying" or something to that effect.
I don't agree with the quote 100% but even when a bargirl says you are the only one with her heart, I think she means it in her own way. A friend of mine had a beautiful GF from a soapy who told him (to prove her love) that he was the only one she boinked without a condom.
In a warped way, I think that girl really cared for my friend but the fact remained she was still boinking others.
In a long winded addition here, IMO, anyone who sponsors has to first manage their expectations
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:26 am on Nov. 30, 2006
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LocalYokul
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Quote: from jack attack on 6:50 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
she was still boinking others
and you have to wonder, how many of those others she was doing w/o a rubber...
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:48 am on Nov. 30, 2006
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S M E G M A
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I knew a non-p4p (at least not the obvious type) TG that got the name of her sponsor (I knew him too) tattoed (big) in her neck. Maybe that one really meant to be only his.... at least for a while. She looked like she loved him (his money?) more than he loved her. Laser can remove tattoes, doesn't it?
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:08 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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LiamOZ
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Seajohn,
Likewise. You make some excellent points. It is the "subjective faith....that even though everything she does or says is the same with the others, somehow with you (me) it's different"
Yes, Zipster's comment gives me cause to examine my feelings quite closely.
If indeed she isn't just a great GFE actress and genuinely loves me, I would like to think I am the only one she loves in this way, to that extent.
It comes down to her definition of love I guess, and if it is consistent with mine.
My position at the moment is that I will not share that emotion with others. However, to be practical, the criteria I would use is that if I made the move to LOS, I would then be the only one.
Maybe unrealistic, but that is exactly what she expects of me.
Cheers,
Liam
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:09 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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seajohn
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Quote: from jack attack on 6:50 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
anyone who sponsors has to first manage their expectations
Good point. To take it a bit further I'd say that anyone who wants to get involved with women at all (most normal men) needs to manage their expectations. But especially in the case of such a wide gulf between cultures as we find in these Western/Thai relations, and especially for those who don't or haven't lived some while in Thailand. A lot of management. It can take years to figure this shit out, one's expectations in such a relationship, if it ever is figured out 555
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 8:54 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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Minder
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And if a drunk farangs lips are moving it is NOT going to be BS?
Good thread. I'd like to add another perspective though.
I knew one BG in Pattaya for several years - never as a BG but more as a drinking buddy and shield (don't bother me girls I already have someone) - aka a Minder.
Kept in touch with her between at least three semi-long term "sponsored" relationships, wished her well as she gave up working in the bar and went back up north to her child and parents. I'd hear about each new "good man" as he arrived in her life and then later when she returned to Pattaya hear about what went wrong.
She developed a rule that she would not leave Pattaya until the sponsorship money had been coming in for three months. Too many guys would fall in love, want to "save her", promise sponsorship, start paying and then return home and forget about her - by which time she was back in Nakon nowhere having quit her job, moved out of her room and lost her income.
So it was back to Pattaya, set herself up again, start work in a so-so bar and work her way up back to a better paying establishment yet again (when I lost contact she was at Showcase in Walking St - via Follies and then Champion).
It was interesting to see the sponsorship deal from her side. Ask me did she "love" any of her sponsors? I'd say I don't know. Ask me did she honor her arrangements with sponsors? I'd say, from what I saw, yes, from what I heard, mostly yes. And I ask myself, would she have made a good wife to the right guy (no, not me) and I'm really not sure because I doubt she'd ever trust a farang to keep his word for long
Enjoy.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:59 pm on Nov. 30, 2006
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