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thewiz
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Chinese detective
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.
A few days later, he received this report: MOST HONOLABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE
I WATCH HOUSE
HE COME TO HOUSE.
I WATCH HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE.
I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE.
SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE.
SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE.
SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OUT OF TREE.
I NO SEE.
NO FEE.
CHEN LEE.
SOLLEE.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:52 pm on Sep. 18, 2009
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thewiz
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 12:27 am on Sep. 19, 2009
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thewiz
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When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah
Winfrey, Oprah asked,
Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always
working; at your age I think it’s remarkable.'
Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do
when I do it.'
Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age.'
George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it.'
Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?
'
So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, 'I don't believe
I’ve ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man.'
George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time."
Oprah said, 'You can really do it again at your age?'
George said, 'Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in
your left hand and my love member in your right hand and wake me up in
thirty minutes.'
When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside
herself with joy.
She said, 'Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat
performance and have it be better than the first time. At your age, Oh
My, Oh My!!!'
George said that the third tim e would be even better. 'You just hold
my testicles in your left hand and my love member in your right hand
and wake me in thirty minutes.'
Oprah said, 'Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?'
George said, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she
stole my wallet
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:40 am on Sep. 19, 2009
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SHEIKH14
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"Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex
anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..."
"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this
upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life
is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of
pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental;
the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give
her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."
"I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold..."
"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"
"Um... okay."
He thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner
waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to
bring dessert. He pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one
into his wife's coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then
drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor
did say they were powerful.
Then an inspiration strikes... he drops one pill into his own
coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee.
Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a
little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her
eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard
her use before, she looks at him seductively and says, "I need a
man... Right now!!"
His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies,
"Me too..."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:01 am on Sep. 21, 2009
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thewiz
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After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the Shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of Alligator shoes for free!'
The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady,
Why don't you go on and give it a try?'
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, Shotgun in hand.
As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator Swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took Aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby
Were 7 more dead Gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, Watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily
And barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.
Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....
'CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:28 am on Sep. 21, 2009
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thewiz
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A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I sayBELL1
I want you to strip naked..
When I sayBELL2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I sayBELL3
We are going to make love all night.
" The next night he came home from work and yelled
" BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled " BELL 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell isBELL4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:35 am on Sep. 21, 2009
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thewiz
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This is a story about a popular young Rabbi who, on Sabbath Eve, announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract.
He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns a couple of Toyota & Lexus dealerships in the city stands up & proclaims: 'If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Lexus every year & his wife with a Toyota Sienna to transport their children!'
The congregation sighs in appreciation, & applauds.
Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur & investor, stands & says: If the Rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, & also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!!'
More sighs & loud applause..
Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands & announces with a smile, 'If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!'
There is total silence
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?'
Sadie's 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand & shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies:
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, & he said, "f*** the Rabbi!'
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:41 am on Sep. 21, 2009
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thewiz
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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy child as theirs.
'Isn't it wonderful?' one gay says to the other. 'All these unhappy babies.. and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the Superiority of gay love!'
The nurse says, 'Oh sure, he's happy now but just watch what happens When we pull the thermometer out of his ass!'
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 6:46 am on Sep. 21, 2009
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james bond
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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to
her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your
penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 6:02 pm on Sep. 21, 2009
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