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Shredded Wheat
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Quote: from expatchuck on 2:42 am on June 5, 2010
Good one XPC. Made me laugh.
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:33 am on June 8, 2010
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Kaymanx
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The next best thing to travelling down to LOS for a good release is... reading this thread -- whichever cesspool you are trapped in.... Thanks, guys 
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 1:18 am on June 9, 2010
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expatchuck
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — eyes wide and pale as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?" she asks. "No sir, I was doing the speed limit — exactly 22 miles per hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" is the route number and not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask: is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't made a single peep this whole time."
"Oh, they'll be OK in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:57 pm on June 22, 2010
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expatchuck
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...and another one...
Heard in a bar:
Having already downed a few power drinks, a lady turns around, faces the man seated next to her, looks him straight in the eye and says,
"Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn't matter to me. I just love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm in Congress too. What state are you from?"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 10:55 pm on June 22, 2010
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thewiz
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A man returns home a day early from a long weekend of golf. It's after
midnight. While on his way back home he asks the cabbie if he would be a witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act.
For $100, extra, the cabbie agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabbie tip toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife
in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
HE paid for the Corvette I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season rugby tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the monthly rent!'
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabbie and says, 'What would you do?'
The cabbie replies, "if I were you, I'd cover him with that blanket before
he catches a cold!"
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 7:34 pm on June 26, 2010
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thewiz
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A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.
The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: “When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife’s panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she’ll never mention that you were out late with the boys.”
So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife’s panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he’d be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.
“How did you get in here?” he asked.
“Shhhhh!!!” she replied, “you’ll wake-up my mother!”
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 7:39 pm on June 26, 2010
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thewiz
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Girl: I have had sex with 4 boys & you have done it with 8 girls, still everybody calls me a SLUT & calls you a REAL MAN.
Please explain.
BOY: Very simple. When a lock is opened by many keys, it becomes a BAD LOCK. But when a key opens many locks, it becomes a MASTER KEY!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:33 pm on June 27, 2010
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thewiz
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' !
She asked.
'Hunting Flies'
He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?'
She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
'How can you tell them apart?' !
He responded,
'3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:24 am on June 28, 2010
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Barcrawler
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England Football Jokes
The FA have released a limited edition England
shirt. They've replaced the 3 lions with 3 tampons.
A spokesperson said
"This was to reflect the worst period they've ever had."
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Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Saturday was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.
I was just playing as England on FIFA World Cup 2010 on the PS3 and was shocked at how realistic it is... Then I realized I'd accidentally turned my controller off.
I can't believe we only managed a draw against a s**t team we should easily have beaten......I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.
I went to the Doctors and It turns out I have the Rob Green virus. No Idea how I caught it.
When ITV HD said showing adverts when England score will never happen again, I thought they meant they'd fixed a f@cking technical problem.
The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.
Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn't break into the dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.
I'm shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this f*****g mess, don't ask me to sort it out..."
Fabio Capello told Wayne Rooney to have a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that's going to improve his confidence?
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Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:26 am on June 28, 2010
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thewiz
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There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After 8 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's Additional children were costing the church.
Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said. Silence fell on the congregation. They didn't know how to respond...
In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much, we wear raincoats.'
And the congregation said, 'Amen'!
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:40 am on July 2, 2010
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