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thewiz
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Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following
conversation took place.
First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint
every room in the house next weekend.'
Second guy: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that
I would build her a new deck for the pool.'
Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my
wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'
They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth
guy has not said a word, they asked him. 'You haven't said anything
about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's
the deal?'
Fourth guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut
off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said: 'Fishing or Sex?'
She said: 'Wear sun-block.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:27 pm on Oct. 16, 2009
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thewiz
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A young cowboy from Butte, Montana goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.
He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Bozeman that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!'
'That's amazing,' his dad says. 'How do I get Old Blue in that program?'
'Just send him down here with $1,000' the young cowboy says. 'I'll get him into the course.' So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
'So how's Ole Blue doing, son,' his father asks. 'Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm,' he says, 'but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to Read!' 'Read!' says his father, 'No kidding! How do we get Old Blue in that program?'
'Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class.' The money promptly arrives.
Our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home, his father is all excited 'Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!'
'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?''
The father exclaims, 'I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
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Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 11:36 pm on Oct. 16, 2009
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thewiz
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A lot of folks can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
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Nobody bothered to check the oil.
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We just didn't know we were getting low.
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The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
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ALASKA
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California
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Coastal Florida
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Coastal Louisiana
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Kansas
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Oklahoma
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Pennsylvania
and
Texas
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Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington, DC!!!
Any Questions???
NO? Didn't think So
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Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:55 pm on Oct. 16, 2009
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thewiz
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Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each
other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
little nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that
done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they
give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze.'
The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'
'Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I
was born - Couldn't walk for a year.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 11:58 pm on Oct. 16, 2009
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bkkz
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Definition of Sex
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Maharishi Vatsyayan has stated in his magnum opus "Kamasutra" that Sex is
"Duty", if done with your Wife
"Art", if done with your Lover
"Education", if done with a Virgin
"Business Transaction", if done with a Prostitute
"Social Work", if done with a Divorcee
"Charity", if done with a Widow &
"Sacrifice", if done with your own Hand.
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:59 pm on Oct. 20, 2009
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james bond
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Two scousers ( People from liverpool for who live out of the UK.) are riding along the East Lancs Road on a motorbike.They breakdown and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries every thing he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. "Hey, c'mon our kid," they say, "gissalift...".The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back, will he take them? The driver agrees. They finally manage to squeeze them selves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon, so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies "Scouse Eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly slams it shut and locks it. He gets on to his radio and calls for immediate back up from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers."I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - two have already hatched and the bastards have managed to nick a motorbike already".
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Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:22 am on Oct. 21, 2009
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james bond
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LAWYER IN AN ACCIDENT
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in
front of his office, ready to show it off to his
colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and
completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The
lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911,
and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions,
the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus,
which he had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no
matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and
raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and
disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you
lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your
possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is
missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off
when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
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Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:31 am on Oct. 21, 2009
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james bond
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If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee
(Hardly seems worth it) 
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb
(Now that's more like it) 
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet
(OMG...!) 
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig) 
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to death.
(Creepy) 
(I'm still not over the pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home.. maybe at work) 
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....") 
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine??) 
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?) 
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...
quality over quantity.) 
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know) 
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) 
Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....) 
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.) 
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.) 
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.) 
Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares!) 
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
(What about the pig?)
The Starfish explains why I had so many in Thailand
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Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:38 am on Oct. 21, 2009
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