| |
tvn
|
The last two jokes from expatchuck crack me up....ok..enough laughing....
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:10 pm on Jan. 16, 2011
|
|
expatchuck
|
Hopefully this one will brighten someone's day.
Southern Marriage Counseling
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya' doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good Lord, Cletus, ya' scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
(Don't make me 'splain this to you!)
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 6:12 am on Jan. 17, 2011
|
|
expatchuck
|
COWBOYS TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to some Oklahoma ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue.
What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again.
This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U.S. Forest Service.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally an old fellow wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem here... these coyotes ain't f***in' our sheep... they're eatin' 'em!"
The meeting never really got back to order....
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 5:16 am on Jan. 28, 2011
|
|
expatchuck
|
A Texan cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman.
The Texan hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.
"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see you have a CHL permit. Are you carrying any weapons today?"
"Yes, I am."
"Well then, better tell me what you've got."
Smith says, "Well, I've got a.357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I've got a.22 magnum derringer in my right boot."
"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. That's about it."
"Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?"
"Nope."
"Well then, what are you afraid of...?"
"Not a damn thing..."
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Sexy Bangkok Girls
Posted on: 8:32 pm on Feb. 10, 2011
|
|
expatchuck
|
Then there's this one for all our biker friends out there.
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 9:02 pm on Feb. 10, 2011
|
|
thewiz
|
No matter what Isaac the husband did in bed; his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.'
They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as! they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.
'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'
Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man.
The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
'See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel !!!'
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 12:18 am on Feb. 11, 2011
|
|
dirty guru
|
"The real joke is handing over your money to something that eats bugs-"
What the f*** are we doing" ?
: : : : : : : : :: : :
:: :: :: : :
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:15 am on Feb. 11, 2011
|
|
expatchuck
|
NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local NRA chapter. There was no shortage of lovely young ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterward, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."
Gotta love military time!
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 9:33 pm on Feb. 16, 2011
|
|
thewiz
|
"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.
Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Five minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. "I am so sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Fred replied.
She ran out of the room.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 10:44 pm on Feb. 18, 2011
|
|
atl
|
Yoko Ono is 78 years old today 
She celebrated by breaking up the Jonas Brothers 
atl
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 10:45 pm on Feb. 18, 2011
|
|
| |
|
