| |
thewiz
|
There onc e was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said, 'If anyone calls me Onestone
again, I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do.
Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until a woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousi n, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,
then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
Why ???
OH, come on... take a guess !!!
Think about it !!!
You're going to love this !!!
Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
with OneStone
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 11:03 pm on Sep. 28, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.
The waiting room was filled with patients.
As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE, YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Sensual Bangkok Women
Posted on: 9:49 pm on Sep. 30, 2009
|
|
expatchuck
|
"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
|
Thai Girls : Meet Sexy Thai Girls
Posted on: 8:04 pm on Oct. 1, 2009
|
|
|
|
SHEIKH14
|
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 1:05 am on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
SHEIKH14
|
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said,"It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."
|
Bangkok Women : Meet Beautiful Thai Girls
Posted on: 1:13 am on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
Kaymanx
|
Ok, now enough of all those racist jokes targeting Italians, Jews, Latinos and Americans.
Three Indians -- a poet from Bengal, a software engineer from Bangalore and a farmer from Punjab -- were out trekking deep in the jungles. They lost their way and were soon captured by a long lost tribe of cannibals. The evil looking men took their captives to the cannibal chief who was sitting before a large fire. The three men flew into a panic and, falling to their knees and touching the chief's feet, begged for mercy.
To their great relief the chief seemed to smile and even spoke their language. "My men are all hungry and we haven't had anything to eat but I will spare you on one condition," he said. The three exchanged looks of relief. "Go into the forest, and each of you must return within the hour with 20 numbers of your favourite fruit. And don't even think of escaping."
The three ran into the forest. The poet from Bengal was the first to return, carrying 20 bananas. The cannibal chief smiled then asked the guy to shove the bananas one by one up his rear end. "If you show any emotion, I will behead you," warned the cannibal chief. The frightened poet commenced doing as he was told, gritting his teeth to avoid showing the pain. By the time he finished with the 10th banana he could take it no more and began screaming in pain. The chief beheaded him.
The software engineer had hurried in by then, carrying 20 grapes. The Bengali poet watched from heaven as the Bangalorean engineer commenced his job. Rather fast the grapes disappeared and the poet began to rue his choice of banana as the engineer neared his 19th grape and still showed no emotion. Suddenly the engineer started grimacing with giggles and finally rolled all over the ground in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. The cannibal chief beheaded him.
Now the Bengali and the Bangalorean met in heaven. The former started chiding the engineer. "You almost did it you fool... why could you not control yourself just for that one last grape ?"
The engineer replied, "It was smooth going all along, my friend, but as I neared the last grape, I saw our friend from Punjab coming in with 20 jackfruits."
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 2:34 am on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.
Mick says 'how ya doin' me bucko?'
Paddy says ' okay but do us a favour mate, run upstairs and get me
slippers, me feet are freezing.'
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin
daughters sitting on the bed. He says 'your dad's sent me up here to
have sex with both of you'.
They say 'get away with ya.. prove it.'
Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?'
Paddy shouts back "Of course both of em, what's the point of f***in' one?"
|
Thai Girls : Meet Active Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:28 am on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
thewiz
|
PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
3. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
4. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
5. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
6. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
7.If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
8. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
9. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
10. Sadly, all men are created equal.
|
Thai Women : Meet Matured Thai Women
Posted on: 4:38 am on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
james bond
|
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
***** Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:- Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The...?
Caller: Mohicans.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er...
Leslie: He makes bread..
Contestant: Er...
Leslie: He makes cakes...
Contestant: Kipling Street ?
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific
ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth... er...
ER... three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er.... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause) : Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully) : It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er....
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run..
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
|
Bangkok Girls : Meet Attractive Thai Girls
Posted on: 4:40 pm on Oct. 2, 2009
|
|
| |
|
